Had a major setback Pulled my back & have been in a semi-prisioner status with me not being able to drive
Still not driving with this back hip problem Thursday I'll be going to see the orthopedic surgeon to see what he's going to suggest since the Ortho-APRN wasn't really certain what she was looking at on the MRI but said that he might suggest cortisone shots by the spine for pain relief & the hip cortisone shot has been scheduled for the following Monday I'm looking into a new PT group since the UConn PT guy that I had for more than 6 weeks was not working out for me
While I was on my "adventure" Hubby was going through some major problems "Joes Wife" may have had an abortion because "Pregnancy Termination Services" is in a search Which explains the Oct 1st purchase of Sanitary Pads, Salon Pas, BioFreeze & 2 tubes of Hemorrhoid Creme he purchased from Target while I was stranded in bumper to bumper traffic in PA & he wasn't answering the phone
1-9-20 I was no longer able to deal with the emotional turmoil of knowing about the abortion & on the long drive down to West Haven VA Medical I ended up crying about her killing a baby just because she'd rather drink & was uncertain of who the father is & the miscarriage which I had after the re-connection of my tubes in 03
Thanksgiving Hubby didn't come home from work but went instead to Joes Wife's house overnight I had to get a ride to the bank Friday morning to get the certified checks for the car payment & partial mortgage payment so that those items were actually paid
Sunday Oct 1st was extremely upsetting & a greater distance has developed between us He was quite angry that unlike his mother I will not allow him to tell a lie about the financial problems that we're having with his spending money on booze & Joes Wife I was pointing out on the computer screen that he had opened the items that he spent like the 2 payday loans... In anger Hubby open hand hit my arm & I smacked back in self defense He rose up & pushed me backwards In his spoiled brat 14 year old mindset he wasn't even apologetic when I repeatedly said YOU HIT ME!
I did send him downstairs to his self made dungeon Since he wasn't going to apologize or even acknowlege that he was wrong to hit me I turned off the computer tv set up
When we were first dating I had stated to him that there was only 1 reason that he could justifiably hit me & that was if he came home & found me in bed with 10 men... I even reminded him of that but still no apology
Things haven't gotten better with my son visiting from Texas - will update more later son just arrived to take me & daughter out to breakfast befor he goes back to Texas later this week
If you were here as a poster 15 years ago, do you happen to remember what your member name was?
You've got a lot going on w/your own health. Try to keep the focus on you and your health for now. The stress of your situation may be hindering your health issues.
Sounds like your situation isn't getting any better. How about sharing a bit more of your situation so that we provide support to you?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
If you were here as a poster 15 years ago, do you happen to remember what your member name was? I do not recall at this time
You've got a lot going on w/your own health. Try to keep the focus on you and your health for now. The stress of your situation may be hindering your health issues.
Things were definitely made worse by my health issues By the end of March I am hoping that with the 2 deep steroid injections done at the hospital with the new physical therapy group that I've started on will have me back to pain free movement & driving again & with my freedom to come & go as I please I'll once again be able to focus upon restoring my life while he's in his agonyof mid life crisis
Sounds like your situation isn't getting any better.
At this point I'm expecting things to get worse because I've heard that when a MLCer faces the death of a close family member that they will spin out of control & Hubby's older brother is currently in a coma - in the hospital since mid December & coma after the 2nd surgery to remove a tumor on the brain stem New Years Eve
Hubby's been avoiding going down to the hospital because he's unable to deal with seeing his brother laying there not talking - this is his first time having someone that he cares about that is dying & his response is to isolate himself in his self made dungeon down in the basement or to go get drunk over at Joe's Wife's house Hubby's in that stage where he's emotionally acting like a rebellious teenager & a young child & I am trying to be supportive by giving him his space when he's angry but also trying to give him hugs while not insisting that he talk about his feelings which I don't think that he even knows how to express
Hubby has childhood abandonment issues so I can't be entirely Dark but carefully Dim
Hubby's not had to deal with hard life issues on his own, in the past his mother always made excuses for him or bailed him out of messes - her interfering in our marriage was a huge problem in the past but not as much of a problem in the past 10 years once we purchased the house & her health issues have limited her ability to interfere & his stepfather said NO that Hubby could not move back home in May 2019 because FiL knows that Hubby is not doing right & he really didn't want Hubby there the last time but MiL made him so miserable that he relented & allowed Hubby to move back.
How about sharing a bit more of your situation so that we provide support to you?
I type slow & tend to type too much, feel that it's too much & just exit without publishing because I'm not sure that my rambling will make sense to someone coming in new to this craziness - so many family issues with my InLaws & I'm having a hard enough time trying to understand this dysfunctional family I'm not even certain how to explain it to people I think I'd do better in chat style - Ask a question for me to answer?
Too many deaths happening too quickly for us to properly grieve My Dad's younger brother died suddenly of a heart attack on Super Bowl Sunday I was devastated when I got the news but Hubby didn't know how to react since he's not been close with my UncleR
A day later Hubby took off for an overnight at Joes Wife's house - I was too busy with my mother in law & family drama as decisions were being made about my brother in laws pending death as sister in law told the family that the doctors decided that since the Rx hadn't shrunk what was left of the tumor enough they were no longer going to try to keep him alive with the respirator & make arrangements - when he got home the next night after work I gave him the bad news
Brother in law was taken off the respirator on 2-29-20 after being in a coma since the partly successful brain tumor surgery on New Years Eve He Leapt into Heaven surrounded by family
Hubby had 3 days for bereavement & 2 vacation days to adjust to the news, the days at the hospital leading up to the pulling of the respirator - He had some rough periods where he stayed in his dungeon in the dark ... I checked on him but didn't want to crowd him realizing that men grieve differently than women
When Hubby went back to work from his bereavement leave he was given the news that the cable company was "centralizing" his department & the choices were going to be 1) Telecommute from home 2) Move to New Hampshire just over the Mass border 3) Move to NJ 4) Try to find a position in another department 5) he didn't speak but layoffs is also a company option
That was some craziness afterwards while I tried to not argue with him about the wrong idea he had for furniture placement which would have tossed my sewing section of the craft/computer room down into the basement which I don't go in due to the smells & darkness & his refusal to get the stuff moved out into the POD so that we can set up the basement into a finished area
About a week later came the state shutdown due to CV19 He still went into work as an essential worker Comcast had people coming into the office for about a week & 1/2 I guess when they switched up & told all of the people to find places in their homes to set up a home office area for their computers at their current work stations
That resulted in him having an attitude when he got home from that announcement, because the work that he'd been putting off for the middle room was going to have to be done now rather than in the summer which he thought that he'd have time to find someone to help him get stuff moved that he's not been doing all these years
April 20th 2020 my mother in law passed away in her sleep either late Sunday night or early Monday morning My father in law thought she was still sleeping when he came downstairs went out to get his coffee & paper, he realized after he'd finished reading his paper that she hadn't moved her position from when he'd sat down to read his paper & coffee as was his routine...
We're of the opinion that she died of a broken heart, she was not prepared to lose my brother in law... that Saturday the 24th was his 56th birthday; my husband has an autoimmune disease called Sarcoidosis which will end his life early & my mother in law had prepared emotionally for him to pass away before 50 She & I had spoken about that a couple of times the past few months... I'm doing my best to keep Hubby healthy even if he's not doing what he should be doing food & drinkwise even though he's going against doctors orders to stop drinking... the Renal doctor even suggested that he check into the Addiction Services that the VA has to offer
My son flew up from Texas as soon as he was able to spend a few days helping out around the house & checking that we were ok... He's partly aware of what's going on with Hubby having seen this crazy behavior in the past... He asked Hubby about coming down to Texas to see his house 3 different times & Hubby said yes all 3 times... Son left back to Texas on the 29th & when he got off the plane in Texas the state police had him sign a paper that he would self quarantine for 14 days - his job already told him that since he was going to a "hot spot" that when he got back from his bereavement leave that he would have to check in daily with the company medical unit & if he didn't show any symptoms go to the medical office for a temp check & the written ok to go into work...
Hubby & father in law are managing to handle the losses fairly well... Hubby has work to "go to" here at home & we drive to physical therapy for me twice a week & the laundromat but he's not expressing his emotions to me Father in law has lost a wife previously so he's aware of the grieving processes & he's had his crying times & is keeping himself busy around the house on projects that he's put off in the past & distributing my mother in law's physical belongings to family... the stepbrothers are worried about any estate monies but Hubby isn't thinking about that nor am I expecting anything although my sister in law mentioned to me her concerns that her children wouldn't get anything which surprised me
I hate the family dramas that come when people pass away
As we head into the first Mother's Day without my mother in law, our anniversary & birthdays for both me & Joe's Wife I've noticed that Hubby is moody & may not be sleeping properly at night as he comes upstairs in the middle of the night more often
5-7/8-20 he's awaken me 3 times coming upstairs from his self-imposed dungeon 1am, 2am & 3am when I went downstairs after I saw he had turned on the lights down there to see what was going on... I didn't say anything to begin with just stood by the door way, I did ask him if he was having nightmares & that's why he's waking up but his reply was that he doesn't know WHY he's waking up cause if he did he'd fix it...
He stayed downstairs until noon with only coming up around 11am to let the dog out & give him food & then when he finally came up for the day he he stayed in the bathroom until he came out to go into the room for work - when I asked him about it since we have a physical therapy session later & normally he doesn't start work until after appointments He was nasty towards me for questioning the change in our routine & he shut down the company chat messenger which I'm guessing was him & her chatting... He popped out of the middle room for a hot minute to mostly ignore me & pet the dog but his face looked emotionally pained
We were almost late to the physical therapy appointment because he's unable to find his wallet He says it's in the house somewhere...
We didn't talk much during the ride to PT or Walmart Pharmacy He stayed in the car which with the CV19 & his compromised health we've been having him do since last month even before the #WearMasks order was given by the governor
We stopped by the Mediterranean place that we saw the sign for the past couple of weeks... It's a new place & the way it's set up I suspect they're just going to be open for lunches & early takeout dinners because there's not even a place to sit down inside only 3 picnic tables outside The guy told us about the Special he had & since we're not familiar with that type of food & he said the meat is not too spicey we went ahead & had him fix us the Shawarma (?sp?) Special to give it a try... Hubby had cash on him & paid for it then swung by the gas station to grab some cold sodas We both enjoyed it & Hubby made a sandwich for seconds so the pita bread would be for tonight's dinner I wasn't able to finish mine it was so filling - side affect of the emotional upheavals has been inability to eat very much in one sitting but I've gone to eating a portion & then finishing it off at a later time or giving it to the dog
I'm trying to figure out how to go dim while we're under these "StayAtHome state house arrest?
Healing is slow but hopefully by the end of the next 2 months I'll be able to get back to driving myself around
I've started my container garden on the back deck but am worried that the poor seedlings will not survive this arctic blast that is supposed to hit us tonight
As it gets warmer & the state starts to finally reopen the Tag Sale season should restart & I'll get the items sold from around the house that I'm no longer wanting to keep & use the funds to purchase a stone fire-pit & the tow hitch added to the back of the SUV
The New Normal is taking some time to get used to but ever so slowly the walking on eggshells has relaxed a bit & Hubby seems to be processing his losses quietly
Our state is very slow to reopen but so far it looks like the cable company will be keeping those who are working from home at home for a while longer since it's working for now & it reduces the risks for the business of having people exposed to CV19
Our first Mother's day without my Mother in Law was rather quiet we did laundry & then went over to see my Father in Law - he asked me if I wanted to go through my MIL's closet & see if any of the clothes, shoes or purses were of interest to me & I was welcome to take them - I cleaned out her drawers for him dumping the used makeups & nail polishes into a big garbage bag along with several purses that had mold on them so he would have less stuff to go through in cleaning out of her stuff.
I do wonder if my FiL spoke to Hubby while I was upstairs because Hubby's been nicer to me - not affectionate but nicer & taking some of my needs into consideration & his angry periods aren't as frequent nor as long directed at me
My blood pressure has been elevated so I'm trying to take it easy & am ignoring a lot of stuff that will only upset me.
I'm trying to spend some time making myself feel better by reading my bible & other books with very little news from the networks & enjoying the superhero tv shows & movies when Hubby has them on.
My container garden is slow this year because of the shutdown so I only was able to get a couple of veggies - the seeds & strawberry roots that I purchased just don't seem to have survived the cold snap we had this May
