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Mental health days are SO important and highly underrated. I'm so sorry you are still dealing with all of this stuff, G. I won't say I know how you feel because I don't, but I will say I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Positive vibes are flowing your direction from way down south, so be patient as it may take them a few days to get to you. wink

You really are a strong, amazing person and I just know that, at some point, things will turn around for you. I'm sorry you keep losing people, but keep focusing on you and your D and your work family and your good friends. And, of course, those of us here who will gladly support you from afar as much as possible.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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The support and kind words means the world to me. This last month has just been awful. My dad thing has me really really upset. I just don’t know how strong I am anymore. I’m so incredibly tired. I want nothing from my dad anymore, his help in any way is held over my head. Gifts are held over my head, then he thinks he can tell me I have some problem with my kid that needs to be solved when he isn't present. It’s BS.

I wish I could go back in time a year. I was buying my house, I met this guy I thought was great and I felt like everything was falling together . Now I feel like they are falling apart.

I am doing something nice for myself tomorrow. What, I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure it out.

I went to back to school night. D12’s bff came over and I went with her mom.

My aunt had a seizure last night. They took off her sedation today and she’s only moving her legs but not following any commands yet. My cousin is a mess.

I’m other news I think I decided what I want to do for a second job. Another hospital in the system has 2 per diem positions open in the same position I’m in. No learning or training. It’s just farther which is fine on the weekends because there is no traffic. 3 weekend days a month requirement. I’m going to apply tomorrow. I’ll do this for a year and pay everything down.

I’m trying .

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Sweetie I'm trying to find a gentle way to say this, so if I screw up forgive me please
who does your dad remind you of?
when else have you felt this way, especially recently?
do you get where I'm going with this, doll?
this is the source.
figure out a way to heal from this and you're good to go from there.
I feel it in my bones.

xoxoxoxo

love you

{{{{{{{G}}}}}}}


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Thanks. Really, I am not willing to tolerate this. I do need very firm boundaries . Problem is with my dad he sees “boundaries” as a restriction on speaking his mind, and he doesn’t like that.


The right to free speech, or speaking one's mind, comes with the responsibility for ensuring one's words are constructive, true and necessary - particularly when the person you're talking to isn't going to like hearing those words. Stated another way, "speaking my mind" is not a free pass to be an a*hole.

You are letting your father cross boundaries that are important to you. I suspect you're doing that because you know that sometimes parents will cross boundaries in an effort to express tough love, which (if that were true) kind of gives him some leeway. However,in this case I think your father is far more concerned with expressing his dominance or satisfying his ego.

Whenever your father tries to belittle your parenting or to accuse you of ingratitude, maybe it's time to step back and wonder what is in it for him - what he wants from you. If his incentive is to boost his own ego somehow, give yourself permission to dismiss all and anything he says. None of it will be useful for you.


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M:24 T:26
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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My aunt had a massive stroke. They don’t think she’s going to wake up. My cousin I mention is so close to her mom. My other cousin, who is on the spectrum and has lived with them all her life ( she’s 43) is going to lose it. My cousins son is very close to his grandmother is 7 and isn’t going to understand. My uncle and her have been married forever. This so awful. The last one left of the 4 will be the oldest, the only brother.

I feel sick

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I am so sorry to read about your Aunt. I will keep her, as well as you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Big Canadian bear hug ((((Ginger))))


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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I’m so sorry, G! Thoughts and prayers for your family.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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I went to go visit my aunt. When I was there they were hooking up to a continuous eeg to monitor her brain activity. Her stole was actually a small stroke, but in a very important part of her brain. She wasn’t responding but having movements on her right side. Not purposeful. Within 10 min of being hooked up to the EEG the intensivst came in with some news. She said with the stroke she had she should have been responding and her and the neurologist thought something else was up so they hooked up. It turns out she was in status epilepticus which pretty much a continuous seizure. But this was good news of sorts. She probably was responding because she was seizing . So they decided to put her in a medically induced coma to give her brain a rest. Within a few minutes of the sedation her seizures stopped. They are going to keep her in a coma for 24 hours and see where she is at. They are hoping her non responsiveness is due to the seizures and not the stroke. They have hope she will wake up. They won’t know yet. She doesn’t have movement on her left side though. When she seizes her left side doesn’t move. I’m hoping and praying she wakes up. My cousin, her husband, her dad, my aunts long time best friend and her daughter were all there begging her to wake up. It is heart breaking. My cousin is such a wreck. But they made her go home for the night since she will be in a coma anyways. We will see what tomorrow brings.

I did end up meeting my friends I haven’t seen in a long time for drinks. It was really nice to catch up with them. I miss them. Me and one of them worked together for 4 years and we’re really close. I miss working with her.

Do I wish I had M by my side? Yeah. But it wasn’t the kind of person he was. I stood by him through everything but he wasn’t capable of doing the same for me. I’ve got my friends and I’ve got my health. I’m thankful for that. Life is short. I try not to take any of it for granted.

D12 has a new job at school. Every Friday she will stay after school and help the science teacher take care of the school goats. Yes, her school has goats. Apparently they eat the poison ivy. She is joining the gardening club too. She loves that stuff. I’m happy she is staying involved. It’s good for her. She’s a good kid. I’ll go see her at her game tomorrow night. It’s home coming she asked if I could come .

I keep telling myself everything is going to be ok and my luck will turn around soon. I’ve got to believe it.

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I'm pulling for your aunt.

As for goats - when I was in Quebec City, the changing of the guard at the Citadel includes a goat. And a guy whose job is "goat master" or some such. You should look for video on YouTube - your daughter would dig it.

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