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happy birthday to your precious girl!! may your work day be uneventful and may your plans be drama free and happy for little G's sake xoxoxo and your peace of mind.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Thank you bttrfly ! Today is nothing but a happy positive day! I can’t believe I’ll have a teenager next year. I am far too young for that, hahaha!

Although, please pray for me. I work in hospital on Friday the 13th and it’s a full moon.

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Happy birthday to little G. Hope she (and you) have a fantastic day of celebration.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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D now officially 12 thanks you for all the birthday wishes! She’s looking like such a teen, I can’t take it! She had a great day, her friends decorated her locker and she got presents from her friends.

She had her pep rally and practice drop off was at 5:45 and the pep rally started at 7, so her friends mom called me ( the one diagnosed with breast CA and asked if I wanted to do happy hour at the Italian restaurant across the street from the field. Of course I was in! We had a few drinks and talked and had a good time. She was given the choice between mastectomy and chemo or chemo and no mastectomy. She decided to take mastectomy. Tough choices to be met with. Then she was telling me how crazy it is everytime we are all together at a game, my ex just wants to talk to me and ignores his wife. Which is actually kind of true.

Ex and OWW came to pep rally and they both came back to my house so D could open their presents. She left and we went out to Dave and busters and had lots of fun. Who doesn’t have fun at Dave and busters. I think the funniest part was when he made fun of his wife’s teeth. My friends and I have been doing it behind her back forever ( she has a huge gap on her bottom front two teeth) he actually made fun of it. Kind of messed up. D12 played a bunch of games and was fun but tired and was ready to leave at 11:30pm.

So my baby is one year away from being a teenager. Lord help me now! I’m glad she’s still kind of a momma’s girl. I’ll enjoy it for as long as I can.

Yes. I missed M a lot. I was just beginning to think of him and his son as family. So not having this family I miss so much around for D12 stinks. She is virtually unaffected by it which I find interesting. She hurts for his son but not for herself.

I maybe need to go back to remembering all the ways I was feeling devalued rather than what I missed and loved. There is still an empty spot he once occupied. In my heart and I’m our lives . I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I do.

Oh well. Tomorrow I get my new furniture and mattress, the guy is coming to get the shed and there is a game tomorrow night. My ex has a concert, but his wife and mother are attending so guess who I get to hang out with?!

Ighhhhh

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Ok, did I understand what I read correctly?!?!?! Your XH made fun of his current wife in front of you (and presumably your daughter)? If I’m reading that correctly, that’s horrible!!!!!! I don’t expect you to feel anything positive toward her, given the circumstances, so I’m not necessarily trying to defend her or anything, but if he’s the type of man who makes fun of his wife behind her back, you dodged a whole armory full of bullets in getting shed of that jack a$$. I mean really, who does that?!?!?!?!?


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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You read it correct. He is an awful man. I am ashamed.

I didn’t dodge any bullets. I got hit directly with them and now I deal with the scars and residual injuries. I eventually got out of the line of fire. I guess her karma is him.

I have never been loved , cherished, or protected by a man. I though M might be the one doing that, but that was a false alarm. He was very careless with my heart too.

My aunt is in my hospital on my unit . She’s a frequent flyer for chest pain, as she is a heavy smoker and a diabetic with heart problems. My cousin called me and told me what’s going on sort of and I told her to just have the nurse call me. Turns out my aunt has pretty bad congestive heart failure requiring hi flow o2. I’m going to go visit before D12’s game. And she will be my patient on Monday. Anything happens to my aunt, my cousin will go off the deep end. But she just turned 70 and she is just so unhealthy. I’m concerned, a high flow o2 requirement is some pretty heavy stuff.

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Sorry about your aunt ginger.

I thought the same thing as Dawn. You couldn’t ask for better Karma for an other woman that went after a pregnant woman’s husband. Seriously. What makes this so great is that other woman is still with him. Like does it get worse then a spouse that makes fun of your looks, is open to cheating and makes you wait in the car while he played with his ex”s dog?

The only frustrating thing is, these guys (and gals) always seem to find partners that put up with them. Like why the h@ll is it so easy for them? Maybe the karma is, that your ex husband is just a gross human being and has to live being himself and doesn’t have the self awareness to see that.

M. Was careless and selfish. No doubt. But I think you dodged some very similar bullets. You really did and it not working out was a gift because now you are available for when a good person enters your life.

Last edited by job; 09/14/19 10:06 PM. Reason: edited language

M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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Sounds like the devalue stage is going strong. I assume that she just takes it? It's undoubtedly going to get worse before it gets better.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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God. The devalue stage.

I never thought about it as a devalue stage but I know exactly what your referring to Andrew because my ex put me through it for a bunch of years - each year getting worse and worse. I can’t believe I put up with it, but it slowly creeps up on you.

How do we recognize it and protect ourselves from it in the future in case it happens again? I’m scared I will be just as stupid this time around. But hopefully not


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
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G so sorry about your aunt. will keep her in my prayers xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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