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Ginger1 Offline OP
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I think he would object at this point. It’s very easy for him and wouldn’t want to lose his daughter when it’s easy.

However, my daughter would feel the loss of her father and probably never forgive me for taking me away from her father and her friends. You can’t put a price on that.

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Ginger1 Offline OP
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If I could be a 100% honest here, even if sounds bad.....

This R was also a loss to me because I thought perhaps living together was in the future. Mostly because I did love him and wanted to be a family..... but having one household with 2 incomes would ease financial burden. I know it sounds awful, but I wouldn’t have made any stupid decisions for that reason....... but yeah, maybe it’s another reason I really wanted it to work. I made 20k more than him, but just one mortgage and 2 incomes would have been sub a relief Or that aside from really wanting the emotional part of an R because that’s how I am. The thought of having that and having the financial burden lessened is just a win -win

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I hear you Ginger. B made essentially minimum wage but those extra marginal dollars if she had managed to get her act together would have made a heck of a difference here. According to my math the incremental cost of her living here was roughly $400 / month. If she were able to contribute more than that, it would have been a net win. I won't bother going into details, but she never got her act together.

One huge part of being in a R that I think we both miss is that whole "safety net" - knowing that someone is there, that if we stumble emotionally or yes - financially - that there's a buffer to help us get back up on our feet is huge. Unlike you, I had that for most of my life.

You know you can do this. I know you can do this. We all know that you took a huge risk with your eyes wide open on buying that house on your own knowing you had to do it on your own. But yeah - it's tough. The world sadly does seem to be biased against single people.

((Ginger))


On BD
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But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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nope doesn't sound bad. you wanted a partner G and all that went with it. nothing wrong with that. you were led to believe thats what he also wanted. bean town is painfully expensive. I have a lot of stress around making ends meet also, which is one reason why I live 45 minutes to an hour away from the city, on a good traffic day. for what it cost to build my house I could buy a 678 sq ft condo in the town I lived in for 18 years, but I'd have to add another $35k to the asking price and it would be in the worst part of town.

I do not make six figures but I make a decent amount and I stretch it as far as I can. no vacations here either, for the foreseeable future.

you're not alone, if that helps. people who don't live on the east or west coasts (thinking metro Boston, nyc, San Fran/bsy area/ or LA) just ain't gonna get it. it's unfathomable. just for kicks go on either realtor.com or Zillow and comparison shop. you'd be shocked.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Thank you for understanding. I never had partnership. It’s been all on my own and wanted all that came with it. And I really thought it was going to happen.

The fact that I do have a very good career that I have worked hard for and am in this position hurts. I’ve been responsible and have done all the right things. I consider myself successful yet I feel like a failure.

And if you remember, I got forced out of my rental and had no choice but to buy. I live in a town where there really is t any rentals, except for one apartment complex which has turned to poop. ( I grew up there and also loved back after my divorce) I was getting kicked out of my home and I had no where to go. I really had no choice here and had to make a decision in a small time frame before legal action was taken ( my rental was purchased from owner)

It’s been a heck of a 2 years. And my R with M, may it have not been perfect, was my light at the end of the tunnel.

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I am a pressure cooker and the lid is about to burst!

My dad and I. What a dynamic. I know he loves me dearly as I love him dearly, but as he gets older he gets more difficult. His wife agrees. He always wants me to ask for help, however, that help comes with guilt and me not being able to have any opinions at all. I just need to shut up . And if I disagree with something he says “I am telling at him and he plays victim and tells me how he is trying to help and I never listen..... blah blah blah” it’s gaslighting at its finest.

He bought me bedroom furniture. I had to get the old stuff out. He wanted to hire this company that he hired for me once before which did a shoddy job and was expensive. But he gets all amped up and says it has to be done this way and done now. So he hires the company to come this morning with 2 guys to take my stuff out and it should be out in an hour. I told him I had to get to work, he said the company said it will be done in an hour. Well one guy shows up and says it’s going to take way more than 2 hours. The guy says his work order did not show this. I call my dad and of course he goes berserk. They leave, he’s screaming . And honestly, I’m kind of upset. While I know he’s trying to help I told him I don’t trust these people. But he just yells at me and tells me he will take care of it. So we got into it this morning because when I was trying to talk to him calmly, he started yelling at me telling him to stop yelling at him. Which I was not. He then goes off on the guilt trip and says “ I’m think about you more than my trip now) he’s goinf away in 2 weeks)

Someone else is coming tonight supposedly to get out my furniture. My house is in disarray, my daughter’s birthday is tomorrow and we have pep rally and a night out with her dad.

I’m trying so hard to keep it all together. But I need a break. I know my dad loves me, but I hate going to him because of the way he acts. He’s always been stubborn, and always right, but it’s getting worse.

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Ginger1 Offline OP
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On the eve of my daughter’s birthday I was reading about this couple who is suing because they did IVF and gave birth to an Asian baby. They aren’t Asian. It turns out they used my fertility clinic! The story is a little fishy....... it happened in 2013 and they decide to Sue now because they feel it was the reason they got divorced..... a lot of details are getting left out of the story.
I texted my ex and told him about it. He assured me our daughter was definitely ours.

No doubting that

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{{{{{{{G}}}}}}}


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Feb 2015
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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I had brought up M tonight ( using him as an example in relation to guys doing yoga). D asked me if I still text him. And I told her no. She said the worst party about this breakup is his son because he loved me so much and he must be so sad I’m gone. I said I will always love and miss him, but he will move on easy.

Took me all my might to hide my tears. It’s painful. I was putting together a pic college for D’s birthday going through my pictures and I came up with the meme he sent me when we were dating for about a month. “I can’t think of many things more attractive than a beautiful person who’s beauty isn’t actually what attracts you” and he said “this is how I feel about you.” I don’t know why, but I feel our story is unfinished. I don’t know what the ending is, but it’s not over. I’ve known it was over with everyone else. But there is a piece missing here.

In other news, the furniture is out of my house, I got a shot in my hip today. Tomorrow is Friday the 13th, it’s a rare harvest moon and my baby is turning 12 . The 2 worst days in healthcare. Friday the 13th and a full moon. We get a 2 for one deal tomorrow! I have to get out on time because we are busy. And after pep rally is date night with my daughter and ex husband. At our historical date spot. Yay! Ha! It’s all about my baby’s birthday and she loves the day she gets her mom and dad together for fun.

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Happy birthday Mini G!


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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