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Work today was alright. Got a few parts done. The rework though... Ughh.

One load tomorrow and done with the storage unit... for now. Depending on what I have to deal with and when.

Commute is in the learning stage again. When the gym opens up I will be happy. Running a lathe is keeping my shoulders going. Need some good lat work to stretch my back.

No idea if W wished our S happy birthday. Yeah, not mine to worry about. I sent him a very heartfelt message. Wished him in person too. Ordered sushi from Sushi S******. My oldest was here for one of his birthdays and was going to take him out where he wanted and promptly picked Sushi S******. So now its an inside joke.

Good memories. One of many.


H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
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Today is 33 years. Spending time with younger two kids. Not the best day. Not the worst...


H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
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Originally Posted by Turbine
Today is 33 years. Spending time with younger two kids. Not the best day. Not the worst...


T.....one of my favorite quotes is: "Life is 10% what happens to us. And i90% how we react to it." You have a chance here to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and react in a way that will move you forward.

What I see is a T that is stuck. In an imperfect world where our S can be removed from our lives for a multitude of reasons (accident, disease, or divorce), you have to remember that the stuff in the parens are the 10%. You get to choose the 90%. And what I see T choosing to do is to be stuck in believing that his ex-W will suddenly have a miraculous awakening, and decide that for nearly 2 years she has been wrong.

T, I have to say what I see. And what I see is a guy that has been posting on this forum for nearly 2 years, and hasn't moved forwarded in all that time.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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How? How do I move forward. I absolutely loathe , despise and hate that phrase.

I keep hearing what to do. Then whatever I have done is wrong or not right or not enough.

I talked about a wall before. It feels like going through that wall wouldn't matter. Yeah, I should have a life not centered on "US". Why even have marriage then.

I don't want anyone else. I don't want to try. Dating was crappy as a teen. With this PC and "woke crap" I don't see it as any better.


H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
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Originally Posted by Turbine
How? How do I move forward. I absolutely loathe , despise and hate that phrase.

I keep hearing what to do. Then whatever I have done is wrong or not right or not enough.

I talked about a wall before. It feels like going through that wall wouldn't matter. Yeah, I should have a life not centered on "US". Why even have marriage then.

I don't want anyone else. I don't want to try. Dating was crappy as a teen. With this PC and "woke crap" I don't see it as any better.



Moving forward is NOT dating again. It is living your life, and being awesome at it, even after your WAS D's you. Are you in IC? Are you chasing your dreams? Are you bettering yourself? Are you living the best life that you can live?

Or are you going to sit and feel sorry for yourself every time a key date rolls around? That is what I mean by stuck. ANd what I mean by needing to move forward.

I am one of the people, and can tell you, that if my W and I had D'd, I would be done with marriage. I may date casually here and there, but it certainly would NOT have been the focus of my life moving forward.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
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Wife telling me what to do about items at home. Get it or she tosses it. Who changed the locks and doesn't share times I could come by.

Woke up early and angry with nearly everything and everyone. Yes I have my share of the blame. Feels like I'm bleeding out resource wise.

Really wondering why I should keep trying or keep going.


H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
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Originally Posted by Turbine
Really wondering why I should keep trying or keep going.

For yourself and D16 Turbine. Set the example, and lead the way.


H37, W37
D4, S2
ILYBNILWY 9/19
BD 9/19
EA discovered 10/19
Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
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Originally Posted by Turbine

Woke up early and angry with nearly everything and everyone. Yes I have my share of the blame. Feels like I'm bleeding out resource wise.

Really wondering why I should keep trying or keep going.



I do not like the sound of this. This sounds very dark, and like you are considering the unthinkable. I hope I am just reading it wrong but please please please, for yourself, for your kids sake, please get into IC. Stat. This is an emergency situation and you need to find real help, real fast.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
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Originally Posted by Turbine
How? How do I move forward. I absolutely loathe , despise and hate that phrase.

I keep hearing what to do. Then whatever I have done is wrong or not right or not enough.

I talked about a wall before. It feels like going through that wall wouldn't matter. Yeah, I should have a life not centered on "US". Why even have marriage then.

I don't want anyone else. I don't want to try. Dating was crappy as a teen. With this PC and "woke crap" I don't see it as any better.


How do you move forward? You know how. You only despise it because it doesn't guarantee you life with your W in it. But that's not guaranteed anyways.

You don't have a marriage now for all practical purposes. Plenty of women that are not PC and woke for you out there.

You still are very attached to her and an outcome that isn't in your control. Detach my man!


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Anger out of frustration. You're right. It did read as very dark. Yes I am still strongly attached to her, life with her.

My BiL let me in this afternoon. The house had a showing about a hour before I was there. So not sure the ladies golf clubs are hers or for staging. I had a set of clubs. Sold them. So yes, frustrating. Not very detached either.

I get parts to rework because of a number of things. New parts with tolerances an old worn out lathe really doesn't hold. An EE who is manager and does little to team build.

New mattress arrives Saturday. So I should be sleeping in the apartment that night.

Very little of this is what I want or expected.

Not sure if this is a chin up or tuck in and raise my fists for the next round. Keep the bob and weave going. Out of the corner of my eye I can see that towel raised.

How's that metaphor?

Maybe I should try my hand at writing.


H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
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