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A Message from Michele
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Hitting my Stride Part 1 #2863005
08/27/19 02:07 PM
08/27/19 02:07 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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Link to Old:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2862998#Post2862998


I thought it was a good time to change up the thread title. I feel like I am starting to hit my stride, and really move on/distance myself from the impacts/thoughts of my Divorce. That I am continuing to move on and forge my new life with my daughters, friends, the Dr. etc.

Thanks A....I really appreciate the vote of confidence. I feel like I have learned quite a bit over the past 8 to 9 months.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863363
08/29/19 02:25 PM
08/29/19 02:25 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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Had a health scare last night with my old 16 year dog, outside of the kids, the last remaining living purchase that my XW and I made right after we got married. Yes, I kept our 2 family dogs. The dog is old, a lab/pit mutt and had a hard time walking last night, her hind legs kept giving out, and a couple of times they just completely gave out. She also essentially stood up and tipped over at one point so I thought we are close. I went to bed thinking today I would put her down depending on how she did overnight. We woke up this morning, she went outside and did her "thang" drank some water and all seemed well. I still think her days are numbered and I am struggling with just having her put down because it is just a matter of time. When I put our other dog down last year it was crystal clear that it was time, I don't have that clarity right now. My girls will be crushed.

Went over to the Dr's house Tuesday night for weekly mid week meet-up. Tomorrow she will find out if her practice wins the "Best Of" our county award in her division. She is really nervous about and she did make the top three. Tomorrow night we are heading out to her ranch, we will hit up a winery and just chill. Saturday night we are going to a dinner party at one of her friends house, not sure what Sunday has in store however on Monday we are supposed to take the kids to a water park. I will also meet her sister this weekend, the first time either one of us has met a family member. I have also noticed over this week that I don't need to talk to her as much during the day or night. We still chat briefly in the mornings and at night but other than that I don't feel the need for anything else. I guess that's normal as the R moves forward and you get more comfortable but just an observation.

I found out my dad and step-mon are coming down next week so that will be cool. I have not seen them in quite some time it will be nice to see them again.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863364
08/29/19 02:39 PM
08/29/19 02:39 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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doodler Offline
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Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
The dog is old, a lab/pit mutt and had a hard time walking last night, her hind legs kept giving out, and a couple of times they just completely gave out. She also essentially stood up and tipped over at one point so I thought we are close. I went to bed thinking today I would put her down depending on how she did overnight. We woke up this morning, she went outside and did her "thang" drank some water and all seemed well.


That happened to our beloved dog that was also lab/pit mix. She had the same symptoms as your dog. It was cancer. She had an operation, but the cancer had metastasized to other organs. The operation bought us a couple of months that we used to pamper her in every way possible and it allowed us time to say our goodbyes.

I hope your dog fares well. I know it really impacts the children when their childhood pets die.

Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863365
08/29/19 02:49 PM
08/29/19 02:49 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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Awww....I figured as much, at 15ish there won't be any operations it's just a matter of when it really starts to impact her quality of life. She just lays around and sleeps most of the day anyway, doesn't go outside for really any extended periods of time but I do think we are getting close. I just don't know how un-comfortable she is but I think we are getting close. I know if she can't get up and go outside for the bathroom it is game over but I also don't want her to be too uncomfortable either.

I could put her down today and truthfully it probably won't matter other than knowing she might have been able to live a couple of more months, etc. I know it won't be another year.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863371
08/29/19 03:08 PM
08/29/19 03:08 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,556
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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I'm sorry to read this. Our pets are so dear, and the tie to the old life just adds another layer. I hope whatever you decide to do that you and the girls have the opportunity to say goodbye properly.

xoxo


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"Whoever knows me can never fall - For I am love, which the vast expanse of evil can never still." -Hildegard of Bingen
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863388
08/29/19 04:28 PM
08/29/19 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
I know if she can't get up and go outside for the bathroom it is game over but I also don't want her to be too uncomfortable either.


After the operation, and after a relatively short recovery period, my dog was just like her old self again. But, the vet insisted my dog only had six weeks to maybe a few months to live. She made it past the six week mark, and she seemed happy and healthy, but she started stumbling again so I had to take her to be euthanized. That was a terrible day.

I think the operation and medication cost about $2k. For me and my sons, the extra time with our dog was worth it because we were all still reeling from the divorce and I know my sons appreciated the extra time we had with our dog.

Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863389
08/29/19 04:31 PM
08/29/19 04:31 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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Thanks....it does add another layer for sure. Last year when my golden died it felt like a mini BD as that dog was the very pet my Xw and I got 3 months after we got married to start our family. When I called her to tell her she even cried, we cried together and it was the first time in a while were I had seen her show some emotion. So yeah its tough, hopefully she will make it through the weekend. I just went home and checked on her and she was sleeping in her bed. I wont get my girls until Sunday so I am optimistic.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863450
08/30/19 01:09 AM
08/30/19 01:09 AM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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Well I ended up putting our dog down tonight. The Xw brought the girls over to the house and they said goodbye. My youngest cried and is already asking for a puppy. Anyway it is sad for many reasons but I am relieved


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863471
08/30/19 09:53 AM
08/30/19 09:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,165
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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Posts: 3,165
Canada
So sorry to hear that your buddy has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. It is the responsible thing to do when they hit a certain point but having to make those choices for a critter that cannot understand is tough.

It sounds like you and the girls are doing ok and that's good.

Bro hug ((J9))


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Hitting my Stride Part 1 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2863473
08/30/19 10:05 AM
08/30/19 10:05 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,556
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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We love them enough to let them go when the time comes. I'm so very sorry {{{{{{{J9}}}}}}}


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"Whoever knows me can never fall - For I am love, which the vast expanse of evil can never still." -Hildegard of Bingen
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