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A Message from Michele
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Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862029
08/20/19 04:03 AM
08/20/19 04:03 AM
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Ready2Change Offline
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Originally Posted by ozman
Question now that I have initiated a little touching now and then at concert. And her with the back popping thing. Is this something I continue. Slight touching now and then? Trying to build a little tension. Or do I go back to letting her initiate?
For now, I would let her initiate.

You initiate when it is natural. Leading her through a crowd. Leaning in to talk when it is loud.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862039
08/20/19 11:30 AM
08/20/19 11:30 AM
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ozman Offline OP
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Ok thanks R2C. I appreciate it. Sitting on porch last night beside me. I gave her a back rub. She didnít seem to mind. Iíll back off some


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862043
08/20/19 11:42 AM
08/20/19 11:42 AM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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Yes back off.......she knows what she told you, she knows there has been no sex, she knows your a man and you want sex. You donít want to come across as desperate, needy, and thirsty.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862045
08/20/19 11:57 AM
08/20/19 11:57 AM
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ozman Offline OP
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Ok thank you. I think I was getting sucked in a little. This is really difficult to mix the DBing and treating her like a cat but also the touching thing

I also donít want to get sucked in mentally and be hit with Bd # 2. Yuk.

This all seems very tedious


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862091
08/20/19 03:49 PM
08/20/19 03:49 PM
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Steve85 Offline
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One thing I always do. When we are walking in a parking lot or on a sidewalk, I will"guide" her to walk on the inside of me, away from the car traffic (in a lot), or away from the for traffic coming the other way. She feels taken care of when I do that.


M(50), W(51),D(15)
M-20, T-22 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862098
08/20/19 05:23 PM
08/20/19 05:23 PM
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ozman Offline OP
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Thanks Steve. Thatís a good idea.

Iím trying to keep my head level. Things have been going really well. As in really well. At the same time she Bd me and she still makes a conscious decision to not say I love you and she may be msging somebody else.

Itís hard to make those things mix in my head. I think Iím still failing at gal. I think I need to try harder. Iím also still too attached I think. Thatís why there is so much angst I believe


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862099
08/20/19 05:28 PM
08/20/19 05:28 PM
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CWarrior Online
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Ozman, based on the frequency of your thread changing titles, and your progress resuming successful physical contact with your partner, you're doing amazing at GAL and Detachment compared to earlier.

Last edited by CWarrior; 08/20/19 05:28 PM.

GAMEPLAN:
1. Retransform into someone fit to lead epic adventures
2. Build trust and closeness with some lucky lady
a. Allow my partner time to become her
b. Be ready to date in a few months
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862103
08/20/19 05:49 PM
08/20/19 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted by ozman
Sitting on porch last night beside me. I gave her a back rub.
What did she give you in advance (or in return)?


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862106
08/20/19 05:53 PM
08/20/19 05:53 PM
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I guess in that light you are right CW. It just doesnít seem like much compared to others on here.

Maybe I could have so help understanding something. I had really thought I had put these feelings behind me. There is a reason I changed my thread name to onward and upward. Cause most of the time thatís where it seems like Iím headed. Ever since the concert 1 week ago. We have had physical contact several times. A few hand on the backs a few front to front hug type back poppings. A hand massage here and there. A back rub last night. Which I may have accidentally later on a little thick. Maybe. Iím not sure. Itís so small. But itís a good thing. And I feel like crap I actually got teary eyed earlier. Itís like an improvement makes me sad. I know this is a long road. And Iím only 2.5 months in. But itís hard to be still.


R2C just saw yours so Iím editing this to reply.

She was wincing. Her back is in constant pain. She sat down beside me on porch. I just reached over and started. She was enjoying it (easy to tell). I worked my way down her her arm to her hand. I was there for a bit and then she said ďI have to go put S in bedĒ. And got up and left. Whole massage lasted maybe 5 min. She didnít initiate. I guess my bad



Last edited by ozman; 08/20/19 06:00 PM.

Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
Re: Onward and upward! [Re: ozman] #2862109
08/20/19 06:14 PM
08/20/19 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by ozman
She didnít initiate. I guess my bad
As long as you had no intentions or expectation, I think it is OK.


There is a balance on doing things. Women score things different than men,

You get more points for 10 five minute back rubs than 1 two hour back rub.


This is how things SHOULD be in a healthy relationship:

W:"Will you do this and that for me"
H:"Yes, Would you make your yummy fried chicken for dinner?"


"What is best for my kids is best for me"

Persevere = happily being patient over a long period of time
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