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Originally Posted by lost8
...adult baseball...


Adult baseball? I hope you're wearing protection.

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That just helps you get the juices flowing. It's really just one component of becoming a confident man. Some men are naturally confident other men are not. I am not a naturally confident man so I do things like lift weights, stay in shape, dress nice, etc. to help me with my confidence.

It's just one part of your entire package.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
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Originally Posted by ozman
I was exiting and fun. I was in a band. Full of energy.

But now she knows all my tricks. I need new tricks

I need her to be like. “Wow. Look at him go!!”

Originally Posted by ozman
I was exiting and fun. I was in a band. Full of energy.

But now she knows all my tricks. I need new tricks

I need her to be like. “Wow. Look at him go!!”

Nooooo, YOU need to be like “wow, look at me go!”

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I’m a chronic procrastinator. Boom there’s a 180. Haha


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
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Ozman - yes you have to find this thing for you. Forget your sitch this is for you.

I half started a woodworking hobby a couple years ago. Fortunately I have some of the basic equipment now. I’ve jumped whole hog into a couple projects now and I love it. My mind stays busy, and there’s something about creating something new that just feels good. A friend convinced me to start and I thought... cutting up a bunch of rectangles of wood... how boring....

Experiment.... you’ll hit on something.

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Ya I used to woodwork. Built coffee tables from slabs of aromatic cedar. Sold them at a home show for a fair bit


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

Bd 5-31-19
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So this may sound stupid. But I’m just finishing my combine. The baddest mechanic in the shop who has a master designation just asked me how I did a certain part on it. I knew something he didn’t. WOW.

I know it sounds weird but that lifted my spirits a lot.

I’m enjoying today. And I’m not around my W. Wow

Baby steps...


Me 32. W. 30
T 10 years M 8
S 8

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Why find one thing...try lots of things. Window shop, walk, read, volunteer, music, PT job?, support group. All these things don't take up too much time but just enough to keep you busy...keep your mind from racing.

Again, I am not sure how dire your situation is so I wouldn't leave zero time for your wife, but finding some activities will prepare you either way.


H-50
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T-19
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BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
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Lost elaborate on that last sentence please


Me 32. W. 30
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You reconcile, you separate, you divorce... either way, doing things for yourself will make you better prepared regardless of the outcome.

DB will become more "automatic" when you can start to peel your fingers away from that rope, one by one. You cannot control what happens in your MR. You just can't. Let go of the desire to control outcomes. Easy to say, really hard to do, I'm on my way but not fully there yet.

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