Be quieter listen harder Be more decisive Dress nicer Talk deeper Flirt (a little bit)?
Sandi
I have always complimented her looks. (This morning she was wearing her cowboy boots. Long whistle). This morning she actually asked me how she looked with her boots. She thought they make her feet look funny
W do these make my feet look weird? H no you look great W if I was walking down the street and someone saw me what would they think cause they make my feet look huge H if I saw you walking down the street, I would think lots of things W (she laughed pretty hard at that) you know what I mean. About the boots H from head to toe, and your boots, you look fantastic W well they are diving me nuts cause my feet look funny H your boots look fine
She went on for a little while. Then told me have a good day very nicely. I went a little over board with the compliments this morning. I didn’t mean to but they just kinda rolled out and she was kinda asking. I hope I didn’t make her uncomfortable
I compliment her on lots of things. Her mothering, her cooking (i eat like a king, it’s amazing) her organizational skills
Her floodgates talking is like the pre bd her. It’s like old times when she had something to talk about. Last night I asked how her day was. This convo lasted 45 min!
Yup I got on her nerves a lot in the past. She got snappy and rolled her eyes a lot because I didn’t was always worried about my health in some way. (I became a hypochondriac and was always pointing out my physical flaws)
Her cell phone use is high. But tapering down slightly. She has lots of people from back when hitting her up now that we are back in town. I also know that there are a couple guys at her job that msg her because she has told me and showed me some of the funny memes they have sent. Some of them I don’t see but I would have to pry pretty hard to find out and I don’t want to per the boards advice. She might be in an EA. I don’t know. She may not as well.
Even though our dynamic is better than it’s been in long time. I’m still climbing the walls because she makes a choice every morning and night to not say ILY. Which was our custom. Without fail. Not 1 ILY since BD
No I wasn’t taught coping techniques. Teachers just put a giant box around my desk so I couldn’t see the class and they couldn’t see me. You wouldn’t know I was autistic unless I told you. It’s all in how I perceive the world
She was very upset about getting pregnant when she did. It was month 7 before she got excited about it.
She has told the neighbor when tipsy once (she hardly ever drinks)
“I didn’t really want to have a kid that young. H and I barely knew each other and we up and started a life together” She told me night of BD that it makes her feel terrible but part of her resents our S. That all she has ever accomplished is be a good W and a good Mom.
Bring preg hurt her body a lot because of her messed up back. She has also had some “lady problems” that have made sex difficult and messed with her libido
She actually opened up to me a touch last night. First I did some good DBing
W hey my sis called and wants to go swimming you wanna go? H no I have a project I want to work on in house but don’t let me stop you W well I think I wanna go H ok have fun
I went to sit on porch and have my post work beer
She comes out a bit later and sits on chair behind me
H so you goin swimming W no I don’t think so H oh ok so how was your day?
Then it was the 45 min convo about her day
Here is where she opened up a bit. She told me how much her mother stresses her out and how she won’t leave her alone and how she has been “80% stressed out” since we moved here. I listened and told her you should find a way to destress. Something just for you. Not for me. Not for S. Just for you.
I told her I was going to store. She decided she wanted to come so we could go out and eat together. She was kinda joking with me at dinner. Made a few faces she hasn’t made since bd.
We talked about that we had a really good time afterwards. It almost had the feel of a date but with kid there. I tried not to make it to heavy though. S was being a handful though
Went to bed. Told her good night. She said something that cracked me up and then turned TOWARDS me to go to sleep. I went to bed pretty happy. Even sans ILY
Can your mind play tricks on you as far as thinking your W is cheating. Like you see clues that are actually nothing?
Cause her boots this morning. The guy I’m kinda suspicious of at her job she was telling me likes to wear nice cowboy boots. Could be something? Could be nothing? This kinda seems like stupid suspicious thinking that could be destructive. And especially after such a good night last night. (See above post).
I’m just worried that all the positive signs are nothing and I’m just being played. At the same time. Her behavior REALLY doesn’t seem like a WW. More just like she said. Really stressed
From what I am seeing you look to be in a good spot. The interaction with your W is very positive, but you see you have already somewhat started DB'ing. My WW was off and running around for a long time and our relationship was nowhere near yours.
Take this time to see that maybe some 180s will continue to have a positive affect on your relationship and GAL will make you feel better about yourself. There is no need to pressure for answers...they will come when she is ready.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
My mind had me thinking my WW was cheating 24/7....now she was but there were many times when she wasn't but my mind had me so wound up that I couldn't breathe.
You have to get past that and when I started to do new things, things that I enjoyed again, things that made me feel good about myself I was able to control my thoughts, block them when I saw the bad ones coming....very important part of working through this limbo! Go live!
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
I am pretty sure you have been warned about being careful reading into her friendliness. Just keep doing what you are doing. If she's in an A it will eventually come out. If she's going to D you it will eventually come out. If she is going to take you out of the FZ it will eventually happen.
