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A Message from Michele
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Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2870376
11/01/19 06:14 PM
11/01/19 06:14 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Yes, G...big changes, but good changes so it is all good on this end. Tomorrow is the big day and I feel happy, excited, tired, nervous, super emotional. But, I know, tomorrow night, when I lay my head down on the pillow next to his for the first night of sleeping under the same roof, in the same bed, for the rest of our lives, all will be right with my world. I was always good at being single, even before I married my XH. I mean, yeah, I would occasionally think about it being nice to date or have someone to sleep next to all the time or whatever, but I'm actually a pretty solitary person by nature, so I was ok by myself. Then XH came along and I reshaped that part of my life. I don't regret it for a single second. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have my girls or my amazingly precious grandkids. Then I got used to alone again. It has really hit home to me this week as I have been packing up my house just how much I like being alone sometimes. And, that is going to change in a big way tomorrow. But, I also enjoy my time with Sparky. Even in our downtime, when we are just chilling out, watching tv, playing games on our phones, cooking together, grocery shopping, whatever, I feel a comfort and an ease that is hard to beat when you find it with the right person. I just read on J9's thread where he said something about not being controlled by his emotions (sorry for paraphrasing if that was inaccurate J9), but it really stood out to me because I thought that is where I am and it is a great feeling.

Sure, we'll have some growing pains along the way as we settle into a routine. it happens when you live with someone 24/7 as opposed to just "living together" on weekends, which has been our M/O for awhile now. That Thomas Rhett song "Life Changes" is ringing loudly in my head right now. Yeah, life changes. Change is a good thing. Is it easy? Not necessarily, but is a good thing for sure.


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2870399
11/01/19 07:30 PM
11/01/19 07:30 PM
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Posts: 3,736
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doodler Offline
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You're moving on game day? What the h3ll?

Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2870404
11/01/19 07:48 PM
11/01/19 07:48 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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And homecoming game at that! But, Lord love my Razorbacks, they are totally stinking it up this season and Mississippi State is going to absolutely trash them tomorrow. Sadly, (or maybe not so sadly), I will be too busy loading boxes into a trailer to pay attention until way on up in the evening.


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2870687
11/04/19 07:34 PM
11/04/19 07:34 PM
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Posts: 2,146
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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The big move is complete. Several emotional breakdowns later, every last bit of crap I own and my beloved dog are moved into Sparky's house and we are living in a sea of boxes. We had to come back to my house yesterday to get one last small load of stuff and do the final clean up for inspection. We loaded Sparky's vehicle then he left to go meet the satellite installers (who never showed up, but that is a whole other issue) and I stayed behind to wipe down the baseboards and such to leave the house as clean as it was (cleaner actually) than when I moved in. I had a little breakdown while I was there by myself and had to just sit down and cry for a few minutes. I needed it. The move is a good thing but super emotional. I moved into a much older house that needs a good bit of work and when you factor in that some of his grandmother's stuff is still in the house and we are having to go through that too, well, it is a lot. But, you know that old saying about how to eat an elephant (one bite at a time) so that is what we are running with. My poor, sweet dog didn't know how to react to his. The younger of his is super territorial so we are having to ease them into contact with each other and so far all they do is bark and growl at each other. It is going to be a lesson in patience for sure.

Back to work today to all sorts of weirdness going on here so I would actually rather just be at home doing my thing. It would be a lot easier. LOL And I could be working on unpacking/decorating. I'm off Wednesday to meet the satellite installers who stood us up yesterday, so that will be good. I can get a lot of stuff done then. It is going to be a very, very good thing. Someone told me today they thought a good goal for our unpacking is to be finished by the time the wedding rolls around, but I will be done LONG before that, one way or the other.


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2870690
11/04/19 08:40 PM
11/04/19 08:40 PM
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Dawn,

Congrats on the move! I'm sorry it was so emotional. It reminded me of my move a little over 20 years ago when my girlfriend (now XW) asked me to move in with her. I was living in a renovated farm house and I really enjoyed living there...but...you know...I couldn't resist. Oh well, I got two wonderful sons out the deal.

If you need a place to store some of your boxes, I think Andrew has some room for your stuff. Beware though, he eats poutine; that's just gross.

By the way, FSU is looking for a new coach. If you know of a good coach, send him our way.

Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2870693
11/04/19 08:48 PM
11/04/19 08:48 PM
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Posts: 2,146
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Yeah, I think that I'll just keep my boxes. I know Andrew has room, but I can't get past that poutine thing. Who taught those people how to make that runny stuff they call gravy? And, what individual in their right mind eats cheese curds with imitation gravy. Ugh.....

Emotional isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just lots of change, but it's all good. I cried it out, Sparky and I hugged out when I got back to the house and life is good. Now we just have to organize.

As far as coaches, I wouldn't be surprised if Arkansas' current one is job hunting in the near future, but I'm pretty sure no one else will want him. If I find a good one, I'm keeping him! wink


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2870954
11/06/19 01:26 PM
11/06/19 01:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,808
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AndrewP Offline
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
Yeah, I think that I'll just keep my boxes. I know Andrew has room, but I can't get past that poutine thing. Who taught those people how to make that runny stuff they call gravy? And, what individual in their right mind eats cheese curds with imitation gravy. Ugh.....

Emotional isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just lots of change, but it's all good. I cried it out, Sparky and I hugged out when I got back to the house and life is good. Now we just have to organize.

As far as coaches, I wouldn't be surprised if Arkansas' current one is job hunting in the near future, but I'm pretty sure no one else will want him. If I find a good one, I'm keeping him! wink
Sounds like you and Sparky are dealing with things that are in front of you as a team.

You know that I love you despite your dissing of our gravy. I did have biscuits and gravy at Waffle House my last trip to Virginia and it was good - but not like "home good". Proper gravy for poutine is thick, brown and is a meal all on it's own. It's just nothing like sausage gravy. ExquisiteToBe is our resident expert in poutine and she would also look down her nose on some of what is passed off to tourists and Yankees as our contribution to world cuisine. That and the Ceasar. Butter tarts we don't let go past our borders. We're still fighting about raisins / no raisins and there are some heretics who have put pecans in them.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2871335
11/08/19 05:08 AM
11/08/19 05:08 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Vanilla Offline
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I always knew Sparky was the one.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Re: Turn the Page [Re: Vanilla] #2871754
11/11/19 03:50 PM
11/11/19 03:50 PM
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Vanilla
I always knew Sparky was the one.

V


Thanks, V! He's a good egg, for sure. And he tolerates my weirdness, so there is that.


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
Re: Turn the Page [Re: Dawn70] #2871891
11/12/19 04:33 PM
11/12/19 04:33 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,146
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Warning: rambling (and lots of it) ahead.....................

Yesterday was the Mondayest of Mondays EVER. We made some headway on getting stuff unpacked and organized at Sparky's house...correction - OUR house...over the weekend, but there is still a long, long way to go. I, somewhat unrealistically, had originally thought we could be all done by Dec. 1, but I'm now just hanging on and hoping we can be all done by Jan. 1, just in time for the wedding. There is just so much. One of the things that you learn when you move in with someone is how you handle things differently and similarly, depending on specifics and Sparky and I handle MOST things very similarly, which is good. We have a few differences, though, and that can lead to little frustrations, but fortunately, we usually talk about it right then, come to a compromise and move on. I have always heard the true test of a relationship was building or renovating a house together, but I'm pretty sure moving could be added to that list. He had told me before I even moved in that decorating was up to me and that as we went through stuff stored in the back bedrooms that the only things he had an attachment to were a few specific pieces of furniture, anything dealing with his daughter and a few other specific objects that we would run across. He also said, because there was still some stuff in a kitchen cabinet, that if I found anything antique or cast iron, he wanted to look at that before we got rid of it. So, I cleared a bunch of stuff out Wednesday while I was waiting on the dude to come hook up the satellite and carried it out to the truck to take to a local thrift store. Sparky gets home from work before I do, so when I got home from work Thursday, he'd gone through a few bags that I had not carried out yet and actually taken stuff out of them and just left the stuff sitting on the kitchen counter. Well, when you are unpacking, moving, trying to get organized and figure out where everything fits, there is NO room on the kitchen counter, so that annoyed me. Especially when one of the things was an electric waffle iron and I already have one of those that is newer than the one he wanted to keep. So, then he amended his list of things I should run by him to include anything electric. Seriously? No! He has a Keurig and this other little portable coffee maker thing that has a travel mug attached. I'm not a coffee drinker and we don't have that much counter space, so why do we need 2 electric coffee makers? I know....first world problems, right? LOL

Anyway, back to the Mondayest of Mondays. We live out in the woods. We don't have internet access at our house yet so I get NO cell phone signal at all inside the house. I can get a little if I find the right spot in the driveway but it just isn't worth it. So, I'm kind of cut off from technology when I'm at home (which is not nearly as bad a thing as it sounds, quite frankly). But, this past weekend, a good friend from high school lost his battle with ALS and passed away and I didn't know about it until I got to work Monday morning. So, I sat here in my office and bawled like a baby before I could get my day started. So very sad. He was one of those guys that when you met him, you just liked him automatically. A good, salt of the earth kind of guy. Went on about my day and got work done and a few personal things and I just got kind of overwhelmed thinking about bill paying and stuff still to do for the wedding and all of that kind of stuff. We are not only supporting our house but his mother's as well and it is tougher than I thought it would be. Of course, part of it is that we are still paying the final bills from the house I just moved out of and once those are off of us, it will get better. Then, Sparky missed work yesterday and he works more of a manual labor job in an hourly position where if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid, so that didn't help my mood after paying bills and seeing where we are then knowing he missed a day's pay. I was trying not to be negative, but it was kind of getting to me yesterday. So, after work, I ran to a restaurant here in town, grabbed us supper and started home. About half-way home, I had a blow-out on the truck and no jack or spare in the truck. I tried calling and texting Sparky, to no avail (remember we don't get good cell service at the house, though he does get some service in some parts of the house). When I couldn't get through to him, I tried calling and texting his mom because I thought maybe he was asleep and I couldn't get through to her either, which told me the power was out because even her landline wasn't going through. After 30 minutes of sitting in the cold truck with the wind whipping, I called my dad. Then I had to wait while he went home and unloaded a load of feed for his cows (it was starting to rain and he didn't want the bags to get wet). Finally got through to Sparky and he came but he couldn't find a jack either. So, he just sat with me while we waited for my dad. From the time the blow-out happened, it was nearly 4 hours before I got someone to me to help and fortunately, I had a full tank of gas in the truck, so I could use the heat, but I was just so worn down at that point. Sparky and I decided to come back to town to get a hotel room since the power was out so that meant the only heat we would get would be if we were sitting on the floor right in front of the heater (heat is gas, blower is electric). God love my dad, he showed up, Sparky changed the tire under my dad's direction (Sparky knew ow to do it, obviously, but you know how dads are) and we got headed back to town.

Then, when we got to the motel and got settled, I realized why I love Sparky and why I know he's the one for me. He'd been rather quiet when we were in the truck waiting for my dad and part of it was he still just wasn't feeling well at all. He sucked it up and gutted it out and changed the tire because he didn't want to look like a wimp in front of my dad and he actually felt better after it was done, despite the cold rain and biting wind. At one point, while we were in the truck, I said "is the universe trying to tell us something with all these obstacles of late?" He didn't really respond other than to say something about good things not coming easy. When we got to the hotel, though, we got in the room, turned on the heat, sat in the middle of the bed with our now cold dinners and ate ravenously while we talked and he livened right up. He first said he wasn't going to eat because he still didn't feel up to it, but I dug in because, well.....fat girls gotta eat! But, as I started eating, he sat down and joined me and realized he was hungry. As we ate and talked, he was very animated about how everything seems overwhelming right now because there are boxes everywhere and there is a lot of big change happening, but that while stuff may seem negative, It really isn't. It is just a shift in our dynamics both personally (within ourselves) and as a couple (moving in together, getting married). It made a lot of sense, what he was saying and I hadn't thought of it that way. Yeah, life does seems overwhelming when you have a living room full of boxes and you can't even find all of your kitchen pots and pans to cook a real meal a week into this adventure, but slowly, steadily, surely, this will all come together and by the end of this coming weekend, we will have the front part of the house, except the den because well....yikes....lots of stuff there, done and organized saved hanging pictures and putting out knick knacks. Yeah, the house needs work. It is an old house and old houses come with their own sets of issues, but it is structurally sound with a good, strong roof, so we can deal with little things here and there and just needing some upgrades (new carpet, new ceiling fans, a fresh coat of paint everywhere and a good deep cleaning everywhere). Anyway, he was very excited about how it will all come together and it will be a really cute place once we get it all in order and it will be. He's totally right about that. I just have to quit getting in my own head about stuff and try to focus on the task at hand which is getting unpacked and organized. I know once I have everything unpacked and organized, I will feel TONS better about everything. I'm a creature of habit, a routine seeker, so this all has me discombobulated.

Got sidetracked a bit there, but anyway, after we finished our supper and chat sitting in the middle of the bed, I went and took a long, hot shower and then came out and crawled in bed to get warm under the covers. Sparky pulled me over to cuddle up to him and we laid in bed and watched a rodeo on tv (one of my favorite things to watch and he chose it just to relax me) while we snuggled and he rubbed my back. We continued talking and laughing a lot, as we do when we are together, and I eventually fell asleep to the sounds of a rodeo announcer and him rubbing my back. It was a good end to a really super sh!tty day and it just reminded me of why I love him and how much I know he loves me. Yeah, I'm feeling a lot of stress and pressure right now, but at the end of the day, I have a man who loves me enough to come sit in the cold with me and wait then get out of the truck in the nasty cold rain and change a tire when he doesn't feel good while my dad "supervises". That's the very definition of a keeper right there!


Me 49, XH 51
3 adult daughters from his first marriage
3 grandsons, 1 granddaughter
My 1st marriage, his 2nd
BD 9/29/2014
H moved out 10/6/2014
H filed D 11/4/2014
D final 12/17/2014
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