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A Message from Michele
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Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: Destroyd] #2859872
08/02/19 11:19 AM
08/02/19 11:19 AM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 197
D
Destroyd Offline OP
Member
Destroyd  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 197
I keep doing more and more things with my children. This has been good for me and them. I have always been a good dad, but I am living with so much more purpose than I have in a the past couple of years.


M: 22, T: 27
Three Children
BD: 12/15/18
Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: Destroyd] #2859891
08/02/19 02:23 PM
08/02/19 02:23 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,133
A
AnotherStander Offline
Member
AnotherStander  Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 7,133
Great, that's an excellent attitude! You do your thing and let her go on her journey. The hand-holding and terms of endearment, those are baby steps so that's awesome! Don't get overly excited but hey, any progress should give you hope! Keep it up!


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: Destroyd] #2859969
08/03/19 03:07 AM
08/03/19 03:07 AM
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 932
N
NicoleR Offline
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NicoleR  Offline
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N
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 932
Destroyd, I didn't get to read all of your thread yet but you have to wonder why a spouse such as your wife has to pull away rather than turn to you for support during this 'lost' phase. It sounds like you're headed in the right direction and it's admirable of you to be there for your kids.

Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: Destroyd] #2861729
08/17/19 01:26 PM
08/17/19 01:26 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 197
D
Destroyd Offline OP
Member
Destroyd  Offline OP
Member
D
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 197
Hello all,

I haven't posted recently, because there isn't much new in my situation. My wife and I get along 95% of the time. We seem to enjoy each other's company, and we do stuff together quite frequently. However, I am still scared that I am in the friend zone versus reconciling. My wife has days where she is quite warm and days where she is distant. For the life of me I can't tell what causes the different moods. I guess it is whatever is going through her head.

Yesterday, she was talking to me about how our lives are too busy. She just seems so overwhelmed with life. I don't know how to help her through this. I don't know if there is anything I can do. I resent that our weekends aren't much fun. I work very hard throughout the week in a stressful job with lots of responsibility. I need to have some fun on the weekends. All that she seems to care about is working out. I want her to workout, but that can't be all there is to life.


M: 22, T: 27
Three Children
BD: 12/15/18
Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: Destroyd] #2861734
08/17/19 01:55 PM
08/17/19 01:55 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 2,859
L
LH19 Offline
Member
LH19  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 2,859
D,

Part of it is whats on her mind and part of it is stress and part of it is hormones.

Why do you need her to have fun?


M:50 W:45
T:22 M:16
S:14 D:10

Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.- Will Smith
Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: Destroyd] #2861757
08/17/19 04:30 PM
08/17/19 04:30 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 107
B
BenB Offline
Member
BenB  Offline
Member
B
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 107
My wife has good days and bad days too. Most have here but it doesn't bother me anymore. Just like the good days don't give me any hope or expectations which they used to.

That's the great thing about this forum. I don't know where I would be without it


Me: 38
Wife: 34
M: 9 months T:9 years
No children
No known OM
No BD really
Still live together
Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: BenB] #2861758
08/17/19 05:04 PM
08/17/19 05:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 157
H
HrtHsbnd Offline
Member
HrtHsbnd  Offline
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H
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 157
Why do they have these good days and bad days?

What does that mean?

Originally Posted by BenB
My wife has good days and bad days too. Most have here but it doesn't bother me anymore. Just like the good days don't give me any hope or expectations which they used to.

That's the great thing about this forum. I don't know where I would be without it

Re: Heartbroken and Struggling - Part 3 [Re: Destroyd] #2861760
08/17/19 05:40 PM
08/17/19 05:40 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 792
U
unchien Offline
Member
unchien  Offline
Member
U
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 792
It means they are human.


M: 11, T: 15
S7, D5, D3
MC1: 09/2018-01/2019
BD: 06/12/19
MC2: 06/12/19-??
S: 06/29/19-??
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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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