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A Message from Michele
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Re: Daily rollercoaster of emotions [Re: DejaVu6] #2861214
08/13/19 02:16 PM
08/13/19 02:16 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,492
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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job  Offline

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 26,492
Southern Maryland
I am very pleased that he has returned. Now, try to remember that this is a brand new relationship and do not fall back into old habits. Show this man the new you. Hopefully he will settle down and truly realize what a gem you are and will continue to kick the ow to the curb.

Keep up the good work.

Re: Daily rollercoaster of emotions [Re: Nyla79] #2861308
08/14/19 11:43 AM
08/14/19 11:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 855
G
Gerda Offline
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Gerda  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 855
Wow, Nyla. Keep us posted. XOXO

I never did write a note to your daughter. Do you think she could still use iit?


I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
Re: Daily rollercoaster of emotions [Re: Nyla79] #2863131
08/28/19 03:49 AM
08/28/19 03:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 855
G
Gerda Offline
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Gerda  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 855
Nyla, please update us! XO


I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
Re: Daily rollercoaster of emotions [Re: Nyla79] #2863868
09/03/19 02:15 PM
09/03/19 02:15 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 46
Spain
N
Nyla79 Offline OP
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Nyla79  Offline OP
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Joined: May 2019
Posts: 46
Spain
Hello all you lovely people!

Thank you Gerda for offering to write that letter to my daughter, I think sheí ok now without it.

DejaVu it was hard to read your message. Iím so sorry this happened to you, and I so hope that it wonít be the case with my husband.

So now my husband has been home for a month, exactly. From that month he was travelling alone for 15 days, which was hard on me. Now that heís home my insecurities are starting to rise up, with everything. Even when he goes to work and I donít hear from him, I get insecure. To try to alleviate the situation, I actually went away with him last week when he had to go on a business trip. It did us so good. We were alone without the kids and were able to communicate about a lot of things. Kind of got the ball rolling so to speak.


He still has a hard time remembering what he has said or even sometimes done during the spring. Heís being very honest with me, which is something we agreed on, brutal honesty even when it hurts. Actually cost me one of my good friends.

He told me they had been messaging each other during the spring. And at the same time this ďfriendĒ was comforting me when I was sad. She never told me anything about this. So I confronted her and she placed all the blame on my husband. But when she has also been actively participating, trying to arrange a meeting so they could have sex, I think sheís just as much to blame as my H. Good riddance. And even though I am hurt by my H actions, it kind of goes to the same bucket as everything else in the last 7 or so months.

He has apologized so many times. He says he is having a hard time forgiving himself and will not ever hurt me like this again. I do want to believe him, at the moment itís still hard. A lot of scars. Itís amazing how many emotions I have coming up now. I think I might have been suppressing some of them earlier.

We have talked about everything and anything. Sometimes he asks for a timeout if it gets too much and then we take a pause. I think so far it has worked well. I am sometimes worried that he is having a hard time looking in to the mirror, but then at times he shows that he knows what he has done wrong. I donít know, itís harder than I imagined.

She has moved out of their apartment and he has blocked her numbers, emails and social media.

It is hard to talk about it, because sometimes I ask questions and then when he answers, it hurts. So I try to think really hard and well what do I really want/need to know.

He did notice my 180ís immediately, and says he was always so surprised because I was always so nice to him. Divorce busting really, really works. Thank you all for helping me with it. <3


On BD
Me 39 H44
D14 D12 S10
M19 T19
BD 3/19
Separation 3/19
H filed for D 4/19
Re: Daily rollercoaster of emotions [Re: Nyla79] #2863873
09/03/19 03:09 PM
09/03/19 03:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,687
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peacetoday Offline
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peacetoday  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,687
Nyla

I definitely understand the insecure feelings

I would feel them and work through them with your therapist

sorry about that so -called friend-that is a tough thing and I hear it happens a lot

Everything in life is risky , and time will tell if your H can forgive himself and work through his issues and at the same time you must be doing things in a way that speaks to him because he is home
continue to work on yourself and know you will be ok no matter what
Hopefully you and your H will work through this, and get a better M than b4


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Re: Daily rollercoaster of emotions [Re: Nyla79] #2864013
09/04/19 11:45 AM
09/04/19 11:45 AM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,622
D
DnJ Offline
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DnJ  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,622
Good Morning Nyla

It is good to see that this month has gone well.

Your conversations seem to be working. Good job taking a break from them when needed.

It is wise to figure out what you really need to know vs what you want know - or what you feel you want to know. Just imagine in ten years, some things you really want to know right now, wonít really matter.

Not to worry, H will reveal a lot of answers himself as he feels more and more safe and secure with you (and that is about him not you). Donít press or push too hard, he is going to take some time getting his bearings.

Keep doing what works and less of what doesn't.

Was nice hearing from you.

DnJ


Oct 8/17 - BD
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
w/OM, Left Kids
Dec 9/17 - Legal Separation
Oct 3/18 - W Files
Apr 6/19 - Divorced
Current
Me51 XW48 S22 S21 S18 D17

I may give up, but not today.
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