DH is alive!!!!! It's a back to school thing. My girls start on August 13th.
Same for Arkansas....back to school August 13.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
My week of vacation has been going good. Spent this past weekend with the dr. and got my girls on Sunday at noon. Sunday night I made dinner and the dr. came over for a bit. Yesterday I took the girls shopping for school clothes and a stop at their favorite store 5 Below. Last night the dr. came out to dinner with us and today The girls and I are going swimming. We leave for our little mini vacation on Thursday afternoon until Sunday. The dr. Has to work but she will be joining us Friday afternoon through Sunday.
Other than that I have just been relaxing, hitting the gym, playing basketball, and getting some stuff done around the house. My oldest wants her own bedroom so we are in the process of getting her set up in it. My house is 4 bedroom and the girls us d to have their own room but after my Xw moved out I put them in the same room as I felt it helped them through the transition. Since my oldest will be going into 5th I think she is ready to have some independence.
My Xw has been oddly more interactive with me lately. Yesterday she texted me some Snapchat picture of what she would look like as a man. I texted her back and told her looked like Joe Dirt. On Sunday she started texting me about back to school stuff then told me the girls picked up a bug on their trip to California. She asked me if I could have the dr check them out and then mentioned she had her Bf look at them but he isn’t even a nurse yet and then she laughed (he is going back to school to be a nurse but hasn’t graduated yet).
There are a few other things that seemed odd but anyway that ship has sailed.
Oh yeah, WASs have an unerring sense for when you have actually moved on. I just thank god my ex doesn't have reasons to communicate with me, I trained him to only email and since he's no help with our adult kids' problems anyway I have no reason to contact him. I'm also thankful he's never seemed to look back - I'd hate to have that interaction with him now. He burned WAAAYYYYYY too many bridges.
I can be cordial, friendly, polite, etc. but there is a vast difference between that and being in a romantic R with her again. Most of all I just suck it up for my girls and if I am holding on to past anger, etc. it means that I have really not moved on yet. Since my girls are young we will be in contact for a very long time so it’s just easier to suck it up and take the high road. It’s funny because I never reach out to her like she reaches out to me. I still very much continue to DB her with rarely initiating contact, keeping interactions brief, never asking personal questions, etc.
I can tell though that she is very much still the same person and in some respects probably worse. I can tell she does respect me just in the way she asks me questions so at least I am not dealing with someone that is completely off the reservation. The other day she asked me if it was ok if she came into my house vs just walking in.
I sometimes wonder what she thinks but not too often. Like I am not good enough for her but I am good enough for a freaking dr. I know there is more to it than that but I can’t help to think “who is the freaking idiot around here”. Anyway, enough about her, I am just happy we are cordial and respectful to each other for our girls and it just makes things so much easier.
Thanks Nef, I know there is respect. Yesterday she sent me some random text while she was on a scavenger hunt for work at a famous athletes house. A picture of her and some of her co-workers posing with him. I just responded with “cool” but why she feels the need who knows however I would rather it be friendly stuff like that vs the alternative.
We leave for our little mini vacation today, the dr will be coming up tomorrow and we riding with my daughters friends parents. We have entire bag dedicated to booze so I will definitely need to detox next week. My oldest has come down with some virus and has been feeling run down with a slight fever, a bad cough as well. I am taking her to the dr. Office at 11:30:so she can see her and prescribe some meds for her. She said she can’t perscribe meds without having a chart. Me taking her to her office was her idea.
I am not a take advantage type of person and am very aware of the situation I am in. While I do very well for myself I don’t have the financial resources the dr. has so I am aware that situation exists. That said that is why the three H’s has served me well along with my mindset of going slow and enjoying the moment. She has told me she has dated many men that we’re moving fast, one of which asked her to use her credit card. That is just stupid, I could never imagine.........
When you and the Dr. got together, did you at any point get those giddy, Oxytocin induced infatuation feelings? Was it a slow burn type of deal? I kind of think I remember reading it was, but you have a lot of threads and I figure I would ask the source. I am just wondering post-D for you or others does your brain and body get a reality check? Do those just a kid in love type of feelings go away for some people?
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
I'll take the question for my situation, TwoFeet. The first guy I dated after my 24 year marriage ended I had serious infatuation feelings for. However he was a Love Avoidant who kept me at a little distance so it didn't develop into full. blown "in love" giddiness. After a year he reunited with his lost childhood love. No hard feelings and we are still good friends.
I've had serious dating relationships since, including a four year relationship and my current relationship. They did not start off with giddy infatuation. I think I may be a little too analytical and jaded; I know that even if it looks really good at first, you have to get to know someone before you can really tell if it's going to work.
Now sexual attraction is a different thing, most of the men I have dated I found sexually attractive from the beginning.
