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A Message from Michele
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Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 #2855342
07/01/19 02:03 PM
07/01/19 02:03 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,557
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855345
07/01/19 02:15 PM
07/01/19 02:15 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,557
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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I really don't have much exciting to talk about so I guess that is a good thing. The Dr. and I are just humming right along, no drama, fights or arguments yet. We went out on the lake Friday night with my daughters and some friends and then Saturday night she just came over for a few hours and we chilled. Last night I went over for a bit after her son went to bed. I don't have my girls this week so this weekend we will probably spend it together and I will get some one on one time with her son.

I am starting to see more for her personality and character traits. Acts of service is one of her love languages and their have been a few things she has asked me to do for her. One is install her nest thermostat in her bedroom and the second is to check out her sprinkler system, making sure it works properly, heads aren't broken, etc So I show up ready to get to work and she just can't go inside and let me do it but rather has to be watching and participating the entire time. She told me it would driver her x-husband nuts when she did that because he just wanted to do the task and complete it. She said she wants to be involved so she can learn. So in essence they are not really my projects but rather joint projects.

She also still seems to hold some resentment towards her XH as well. She has made several comments about the property he got in their Divorce, his financial situation, how much he has let their former ranch become run-down, etc. I think it really makes her mad that she had to give him everything she did, including all of the hours they both spent working on the place. He can no longer afford it and he needs the equity in it so he is selling it. I think that really bothers her. I totally don't get the impression she still loves him and wants him back but I think she is still carrying around some anger and frustration over how much money she lost.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855498
07/02/19 01:15 PM
07/02/19 01:15 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,557
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,557
Interestingly enough I have been practicing my validation and listening techniques that I have learned through my 2 years of DBing and yesterday the DR. says to me "I just feel like you get me and understand me".........bahaaaaaaaa!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855544
07/02/19 06:00 PM
07/02/19 06:00 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,561
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Online
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bttrfly  Online
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,561
Massachusetts
BOOM! dividend!


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"Whoever knows me can never fall - For I am love, which the vast expanse of evil can never still." -Hildegard of Bingen
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855546
07/02/19 06:04 PM
07/02/19 06:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,561
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Online
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Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
She said she wants to be involved so she can learn. So in essence they are not really my projects but rather joint projects.


I completely understand this and I've done the same to my friends who have come to help me with various things. I feel like if I learn how to do these things I will not only be independent, but its a confidence booster for sure!

Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
She also still seems to hold some resentment towards her XH as well. She has made several comments about the property he got in their Divorce, his financial situation, how much he has let their former ranch become run-down, etc. I think it really makes her mad that she had to give him everything she did, including all of the hours they both spent working on the place. He can no longer afford it and he needs the equity in it so he is selling it. I think that really bothers her. I totally don't get the impression she still loves him and wants him back but I think she is still carrying around some anger and frustration over how much money she lost.


Well, as someone who had to fork over 1/2 her retirement when I'd only worked part time for the previous 15 years --- and the exh hadn't bothered to save any of his beaucoup bucks, YEAH. The struggle is real on that front. Not constant, but it's a process of letting that one go for me any way.


M 20+ T25+
BD 4/6/15
D Final 12/23/16

"Whoever knows me can never fall - For I am love, which the vast expanse of evil can never still." -Hildegard of Bingen
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855598
07/02/19 09:05 PM
07/02/19 09:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,724
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kml Offline
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Quote
She said she wants to be involved so she can learn. So in essence they are not really my projects but rather joint projects.


Fair warning - as an analytical person, I have been known to offer "suggestions" to boyfriends when they are working on stuff for me around the house. I'm usually right but they seldom appreciate my input lol. It's just hard for us to stand by and see something being done wrong or that could be done easier. Even if I don't have the muscle strength to do it myself, I might be able to see how something is put together or how you could make 2 cuts with the saw instead of 4.

Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855608
07/02/19 09:53 PM
07/02/19 09:53 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,557
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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It is vastly different than what I am used to that's for sure. The XW would ask me to do something, not pay attention to what I was doing, and then step in with good job or that looks like crap after the project was finished. I know hated that feeling so I am hoping that getting used to her paying more attention will eliminate some frustration at the end of the project.

It's just funny as even though she asked me to do something she sort of takes over. For example, the Nest thermostat. When I got to her house she already had the old thermostat off the wall and was already reading the instructions when I walked in the front door. It's like she just wanted me to be the grunt, the muscle and she wanted to perform all the technical work.

Talk about feeling used....LOL!!!!!!!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855942
07/06/19 02:19 PM
07/06/19 02:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,557
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,557
Currently out at the drs ranch watching her son swim. Thursday we took him to a water park, then dinner and then fireworks. Yesterday we came out here with him, spent the night, had a cook out and later today heading back into town. Tonight she is a taking me out to dinner for a nice steak.

A couple of developments......she told me yesterday she Hope's she doesnt have to date anyone else other than me. This morning her son told me that if me and her mom got married I would be his third dad. So no pressure or anything right???

So as Andrew would say the huntress is circling in on her prey. I am still in no rush but I guess I need to start doing some thinking because hanging out and hooking up might be coming to an end.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855945
07/06/19 03:26 PM
07/06/19 03:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,985
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Ginger1 Online
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So, what are you supposed to do next? The next step is moving moving in together or marriage. Otherwise, what else needs to change ? You and your kids are ready for cohabitation and marriage?

Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 29 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2855947
07/06/19 03:43 PM
07/06/19 03:43 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,724
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kml Offline
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Slow down! Geez. It's very nice that she hopes she doesn't have to date anyone else - that means she likes you and hopes it works out long term with you because it is going so well. Nice.

That does NOT mean you have to jump into cohabitation or anything. Holy Miley, you JUST met her kid. I certainly wouldn't cohabitate until at least a year, and maybe more. You're still learning about each other and just started meeting each other's friends.

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