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Joined: Mar 2019
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I received mediation papers via email a week ago and snail mail and forwarded them to my attny. He contacted her attny. and has not received any requests or paperwork about how she would like to proceed.

I'm still DBing and getting out and GALing. I'm still in our house and she at her parents down the road. The boys started school which is 1/2 way between us and they will still split time with us but I will not split time in our house.

What should I do just sit tight and keep on keeping on?

Any advice, experiences or expectations that people have had in a similiar situation would be great.

Thx


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
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Any words of help or advice????

Thx


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 773
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Just keep focusing on yourself. There is nothing else you can do. Better yourself every day.


M:16
T:21
H(me) 38
WW: 38
S11 D16 D19
Red Flags of A: March 2018
ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018
Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018
BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018
D Filed: March 27, 2019
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 214
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Jimmy, really sorry to hear this, it's heartbreaking. I read Sandi's post from earlier and that's still good advice, hold to it. For my sitch I keep working toward being AMOAFWL. If our Ws leave us then so be it, we come out the other side stronger with or without them.

I will echo the advice others have shared and that is that there is nothing you can do to change her mind, convince her to stay, she has to come to that on her own. I believe that means that she either needs to see her "new" life getting worse (reality sets in) or you becoming better (or some combination).

It sounds like you've been GALing up a storm and being a great dad. I'll also assume that you aren't pursuing and therefore giving her the space she's demanded. Keep that up. Maybe even find more new things to do.

One proactive suggestion (i.e. not related to anything you've said thus far) is that this D is her "project", she needs to do the work. If she wants to use a mediator, fine (better than litigation) - she can schedule the sessions and they can't always be inconvenient for you. She wants to sell the house? Great, she can find the realtor. Etc. etc. If you're like many of us you'll want to help, show her what a great guy you are. Don't. This is on her.


M(35), W(35), D(4)
M-9, T-12 Bomb Drop (D announcement) - May 3, 2019
W moved out Aug 13
House sold Sept 25
Papers signed Nov 15
Divorce finalized Dec 12
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Thx crdcheck

Anyone else with good words????

thx


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
Joined: Feb 2018
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Jimmy, hold your head high, my friend! This too shall pass. All things happen for a reason, and you are not only going to be fine, you are going to be better than ever.

Concentrate on your kids. And when not with them GAL. Continue to work on you 180s. Continue to be self-differentiated (lovingly detached). Allow your R with her to switch to coparent, and just be the best Jimmy you can be. There are better things in store for you, whether with her or someone new.

Look at AnotherStander. He's been through this and is better today than he's ever been!!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
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Thx Steve85


Me. 46
Her 37

Years together 10
Married 7.5

Kids 4 and 6
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