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A Message from Michele
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Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 #2850659
05/27/19 10:56 AM
05/27/19 10:56 AM
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Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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Link to old:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2850587#Post2850587


I don't know why she feels the need to tell me things that are going on in her life, what she is up to, etc. The other day for example, I went into her place to drop the girls bags off and she started telling me about a project she was working on for school, what she was drawing. I just said something along the lines of.....oh that's nice and then said good bye to the girls and left. It's weird.

Last night the Dr and I went out for her birthday to this local Italian restaurant that has an awesome patio with a large grassy area that has a band on Friday nights in the summer. People not eating at the restaurant come with their lawn chairs and sit in the grassy area, drink and listen to the music. Well the doc and I had an outdoor table, got a bottle of wine and was just chillin and out of know where my XW's best friend sat in the grassy area like 10 ft from our table. I was like holy fuch this is fricken great! I told the dr who she was and thought to myself what should I do. I know her and when we were married we would all go out as couples. Turns out I ended up doing nothing and she never saw me. I thought if I walked up and said hi I would have to introduce the DR and I didn't want to make it look like I wanted it to get back to my XW. I also really didn't care either TBH.

We spent the day together, went out to brunch, took a little nap this afternoon and going out tonight to listen to some music and have a few cocktails. We did go to the gym together this morning and got our workouts in so all wasn't lost.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2850662
05/27/19 11:53 AM
05/27/19 11:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 4,664
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LH19 Online
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LH19  Online
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You're at the two year mark and I bet she is starting to miss you. Plus the honeymoon phase is over with the little dude and his flaws are probably starting to get annoying.

Or she's just trying to be friendly. Lol. Who knows.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.- Will Smith
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2850672
05/27/19 12:41 PM
05/27/19 12:41 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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Yeah...who knows. Even if she is getting tired of wee man she is still enjoying her freedom and being a 50% parent so it's all about her still.

The dr. mentioned me meeting her kid over the summer, asking me if I would join them at a water park during a week where I don't have my kids. I just said it sounded fun and meeting kids separately without the other kids around would be best. She still has not said the words yet but it doesn't bother me. I can tell she is getting there. I have my kids all week and will see her at the gym today and prob tomorrow but won't get to spend any time with her again until Sunday.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2850736
05/27/19 11:44 PM
05/27/19 11:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,843
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JujuB Offline
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I think that was a considerate way to not push herself on to meeting your kids in case you are uncomfortable or worried about the well being of your children meeting a new woman too soon

Next time around, and for me personally, I might not wait super long to introduce son to a new boyfriend. I need to see how boyfriend interacts with him and reacts to my parenting choices (cause if hes like the last guy I will know to end things quicker). Im wondering if she wants to make sure you are ok with him before she fully emotionally invests?


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2850783
05/28/19 01:02 PM
05/28/19 01:02 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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Possibly.....after expressing myself to her though and showing some vulnerability the next moves are on her since she did not reciprocate. I am not mad she didn't however I don't want to push her and get her out of her comfort zone. So I am back to just hanging out and having fun while she can decide when she is ready to proceed further. The ball is firmly in her court.

We had a good weekend together, just relaxing, hitting the gym, and enjoying each others company. My girls ended up spending the night at a friends house last night so we saw each other yesterday evening as well. She did start to post pictures of us on her Facebook and Instagram feeds so I guess I have graduated to her feeling comfortable letting everyone know we are an item. I am not a big social media guy and I never post anything she told me I am the first guy she has ever posted pictures with. Things just seem to be progressing at a comfortable pace.

I am off all week taking my girls to my parents house for a few days. My youngest has her 8th birthday on Sunday so we will all do something together as a family. I got her a Hover board however I ended up giving it to her early so her and my oldest could ride together. I also got them a couple of those Beta fish. We already have a dog and have been asking for another pet so I thought this would be the easiest, least expensive option that doesn't require much care smile


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2850830
05/28/19 05:35 PM
05/28/19 05:35 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4,972
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Ginger1 Offline
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So, I am weird around social media. I had one guy I dated and when I posted a pic of us on vacation he freaked. He made me take it town. I later found out because he was friends with the woman he was interested in. They are now engages. I digress .

After that, I never posted pictures again on social media. Im freaked. 9 months and we have a few selfies ( I also hate pictures) all initiated by him, actually. I mention him in posts, but neither of us believe in changing relationship statuses on FB.

She didnt ask you to post pictures right? If I were to post one of us, I feel like I should ask first. Which is awkward.

So I guess you are okay with it?

Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2850840
05/28/19 06:12 PM
05/28/19 06:12 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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TBSakaJ9  Offline OP
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No she didnt ask and I didn't care. In my opinion if we are bf and gf pictures are going to happen. Also since we are exclusive I dont care who knows and who sees. I don't know why people would have a problem with it unless they still wanted the r to be a secret.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2850863
05/28/19 07:38 PM
05/28/19 07:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,432
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Dawn70 Offline
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Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
No she didnt ask and I didn't care. In my opinion if we are bf and gf pictures are going to happen. Also since we are exclusive I dont care who knows and who sees. I don't know why people would have a problem with it unless they still wanted the r to be a secret.


Totally agree! If you are exclusive, it shouldn't matter so much. If someone has a problem, to me, that comes across as them hiding something, whether they really are or not.


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
1 adult daughter and bonus daughter-in-law from current H's first marriage
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2851493
06/03/19 01:11 PM
06/03/19 01:11 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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Had a great week of vacation last week now it is back to the grind. Saw the dr on Monday, Tuesday, Saturday and we went out last night. She did me last night that she loved me. Said she was fighting it in her head but knew it in her heart. That she was fighting the urge to self sabotage, etc. but that she knows she loves me. I just told her that I understood as I had been fighting my own fears and that we can continue at the same pace as their is no rush. I told her that I loved her as well and we continued on with out evenings.

While we were out I ran into an acquaintance that I hadn't seen in a few years that new me as the husband of my xw. I could tell he was looking at me weird as we were talking so I told him that my xw and I had got divorced a couple if years ago. I made the comments with the dr standing right there, I did introduce her to him but I felt very comfortable just saying we got divorced a couple of years ago with no need to go into a detailed explanation.

Anyway that felt really good to me.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the Brightside Part 27 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2851584
06/03/19 08:14 PM
06/03/19 08:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,165
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AndrewP Offline
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This is great news J9 - I'm so glad that you are happy with your life and that the Dr is part of it.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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