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OrangeK Offline OP
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Hey all,

Good to hear from you MTB.

not much had changed over my way legally speaking, I have what I dearly hope will be our last court date coming up in a few weeks.
I am hoping for a resolution to the FIL issue and a solidified custody schedule.
S4 has been much better behaviorally at school since returning from his summer with my parents, although he still has hard days and tough behavior from time to time.

I however, am in a far far better place.
Still struggling financially, but that's seemingly normal, just annoying.

Looking back, it scare me to think how sick and low this whole mess brought me. Now, two years and in, I do finally feel normal and healthy.
The "stomach Twisties" I used to get (anxiety) are long since a thing of the past.

Feel free to ask any specifics.

It's been a crazy two years. But the orangeK I am today is a better, wiser, stronger man and father because of it.
Honestly, looking back, with the exception of the pain poor S4 has had to endure, I'm actually glad it all went down how it did. I coulda been in a toxic marriage for years if not decades. All's well that ends well!


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
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Originally Posted by OrangeK
Still struggling financially, but that's seemingly normal, just annoying.



So what are your plans to address this?

Little ditty: When my W and were dating, I had my associates degree she had a bachelors. I started taking a class here and there to get my Bachelors. When my daughter was born we decided my W would stay home to raise her. I got really serious about getting my degree and finally completed it at age 36. We struggled for about 3 years on my single, associates income, but once I got my bachelors, I landed a high paying job and kissed financial struggles goodbye.

So if you are annoyed by your finances, it is up to you to fix that.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Just plugging away at work, working twords advancement and more sales. Trying small things to adjust my budget, etc. Gotta fix my credit.


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Hello everyone,



It dawned on me that it has been AGES since I updated.

So here are a few things.



Living situation is much improved, right about the time of my last post, I had started seeing a lovely lady who has a 8yo daughter.

S5.5 is doing really well, and adores her and her daughter.

In a new home, which is gorgeous. I feel so at home there. Peaceful.

Court regarding ex-FIL is still ongoing (over 2 years now!!) but things are going very well in that regard also.

EX-W and I speak on occasion regarding S5.5, and beyond a few bits of poor communication, we are co-parenting amicably.



New job is going really well, finances are not so hard anymore.

S5.5 is growing amazingly well, so all in all. A good update!!



The recent pandemic has hardly been an impact and its shaping up to be a great summer.

I hope you are all doing well.



It really is incredible how long it takes to gain perspective, and to truly leave old wounds behind. Its worth the long haul. Its worth the hurt.

I feel like a totally renewed man. And its pretty great.


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 135
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Wow, I just skimmed through your sitch. Sorry, rushing to watch a show with the fam. I am so very happy for you. I usually hang out in the MCL forum as that's where my sitch is, but I'm glad to see people recover whether or not they end up with their spouse.

So happy you seem so grounded, happy and free. Sending blessings and light as you've given some to me. Have a great night! The best to you and your son! Oh and your new lovely lady and her D8.


W (me): 50 H: 46
M: 21 T: 25
S:17 D:15
BD 11/2019

Fate whispers to the warrior, "You can not withstand the storm" And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm." ~Unknown
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Great to hear! Will read up on your sitch!
Asking specifics:
What have you done/read/changed specifically to become this :
Quote
But the orangeK I am today is a better, wiser, stronger man and father because of it.


I am on my way there but would appreciate any tips/suggestions post D.

Last edited by Mumin; 04/09/20 07:29 AM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Thanks for posting O!

Glad to see things are improving for you and S5.

Keep moving forward into a plenty life.

Stay strong!


WW H(me): 51
W: 47
T: 26 M: 21
S: 16
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Honestly, same tips I'm sure you've seen here. GAL, get out an renew old hobbies/passions.
Don't lean into new R to make you feel better. When you're ready you'll know it.
Use it as motivation for an 80s movie style rebuild montage. "You're the best, around, nothing's gonna keep you down. "

My best advice? Don't do what I did. Lol.
If you scan my sitch, you'll see I clung to attachment and needing answers for farrrrrr too long.


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
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Posts: 18,666
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whistle


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Apr 2018
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OrangeK Offline OP
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ex - FIL is in very poor health, and court case is still ongoing.
exw has been very chatty and asking random "conversational" questions.
odd behaviors. just trying to stay frosty and mind my own business.

got a good friend going thru similar stuff. tried to offer advice and directed him here.

how are you all doing?


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
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