Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
Consulting one now


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,103
Likes: 2
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 2,103
Likes: 2
Do it O.


WW H(me): 51
W: 47
T: 26 M: 21
S: 16
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 937
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 937
Hi Orangek, it was great to hear your update. Did I read correctly that your ex-wife has already found a new "other man" and she might be moving on from the original "other man?" If so that's crazy. I don't fully understand your son's circumstances but I truly hope you can provide him with all the love and one-on-one time he needs to better control his behavior. Sometimes I'll play with my daughter and in the middle of playing she'll start talking about a difficult situation at school or she'll talk about a problem with her teachers or other students. It only happens when she's relaxed and has my undivided attention. Perhaps by giving him some time like that you can better understand what's on his mind. I hope you and your son can heal and have much better days ahead.

Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by OrangeK
It was my original intention to file a motion with the court to pause my child support until such time as she is actually paying for his care and we get him enrolled in a new daycare program. My family's advice to me was to Simply have my child support deduction shut off through my work, the concern I expressed about doing this was being found as not paying my child support by the state.


Hey O, it sounds like you are talking to your L about this before taking action and that's a good idea! There was a situation similar to this with a distant relative of mine who quit paying, and yes the court saw that as him being a deadbeat dad and took action against him even though his XW had completely checked out and was not caring for the child. So definitely go through the proper channels! Very sorry to hear your XW is pulling this, it's really unfair to your S but at least you and your parents are there for him.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
Update:



I ended up filing a motion to have my child support paused or cancelled due to EXW not providing care.
Waiting on court to rule on motion.

S4 has been up with my parents for 2 weeks now.
EXW has called to talk to him 3 times in 2 weeks, no video chat, no requests to come visit him or make arrangements to pick him up for a day or two.



I call him daily. Send messages and video chat as often as possible.
I drove the 4 Ĺ hours to spend the weekend with him, took Yesterday off work so I could have an extra day with him.



I have had it. I have been giving benefit of doubt that she will want to actually parent.

His behavior has improved 10 fold since being with my parents.


She has no bedroom for him. Hasnít taken him to a single Dr apt or dentist or mental health apt since we split up in Oct of 2017.

Shes still getting my child support money and isnít even paying for a single facet of S4ís care.

She has introduced him to 2 romantic partners in 1.5 years, and has family and boyfriends do more of the pickups and care for S4 than she does.

She lies to me about our childs whereabouts, behavior and her intentions on caring for him.



Enough enough. I Am going to be petitioning for temporary full guardianship or full custody.


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
Update:



I ended up filing a motion to have my child support paused or cancelled due to EXW not providing care.
Waiting on court to rule on motion.

S4 has been up with my parents for 2 weeks now.
EXW has called to talk to him 3 times in 2 weeks, no video chat, no requests to come visit him or make arrangements to pick him up for a day or two.



I call him daily. Send messages and video chat as often as possible.
I drove the 4 Ĺ hours to spend the weekend with him, took Yesterday off work so I could have an extra day with him.



I have had it. I have been giving benefit of doubt that she will want to actually parent.

His behavior has improved 10 fold since being with my parents.


She has no bedroom for him. Hasnít taken him to a single Dr apt or dentist or mental health apt since we split up in Oct of 2017.

Shes still getting my child support money and isnít even paying for a single facet of S4ís care.

She has introduced him to 2 romantic partners in 1.5 years, and has family and boyfriends do more of the pickups and care for S4 than she does.

She lies to me about our childs whereabouts, behavior and her intentions on caring for him.



Enough enough. I Am going to be petitioning for temporary full guardianship or full custody.


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
Quick update.

Still trying to get residential custody of S4.
Still paying child support even though exw hasnt seen S4 in 5.5 weeks.

Court last monday basically accomplished nothing.

Keeping busy and keeping up the good fight.

Refreshing to finally REALLY know what detachment feels like.
Havent heard from or talked to EX W in over a month. Its refreshing


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,455
Likes: 58
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,455
Likes: 58
Good update OK. Only one small 2x4 (1x2?). If you are counting the days between communications......are you really detached?

Keep working with your L. She is now in child abandonment territory and you should be documenting EVERYTHING to make your case.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 937
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 937
HI OrangeK,

It's good to hear you're hanging in there. I hope you'll get full custody. That would be a major victory for you and a lifesaver for your son. Please keep us posted!

Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
Just wondering how things were going, Orange. Hope all is well and you get the child support and custody things figured out...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Page 7 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Link Copied to Clipboard