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lurch05 #2850886 05/28/19 10:31 PM
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I have had to start documenting... do that and put your kids first.

lurch05 #2850913 05/29/19 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by lurch05
Inevitable happened....I backslid. Found out day I told her I still wanted divorce, she already had someone in waiting she moved out of "friend zone". Found out through FB as she never came home one night, apparently she posted she was in Dayton with new bf. New bf after a week of talking and 2 dates? Wtf kinda person does that? Since then I have also lost my job and struggling to find a new 1. I have 2 options ATM....take a huge paycut of look for employment in other cities n miss out in my kids lives as she would never let them leave the area.

Additionally, I have had to start documenting her coming and going again as she seems to think that since I'm not working she can up n leave anytime she wants to go to lunch, dinner, or dates with the new guy. Last night for example....got a text at 5pm saying I'm not coming home tonight n I'll b back around 2pm tomorrow. Pissed me off something fierce....I am not a damn babysitter.


She had to get some medicine for her inner ear infections, n was not to happy that I informed kids of where she was gonna b....forgot to mention that she kept putting off telling kids what was going on. It was my weekend without them so I went n stayed with a friend Saturday. Came home Sunday n found out she told them everything....what was going on, who she was talking on the phone with all the time, she would b moving out, everything.

So when she came home she wasn't to happy that I told the kids where she was staying n I had no right to do that... apparently she expects me to lie to them n that's ok.

I don't know y this time seems harder than last time, prolly cuz I don't have e work to distract me n I'm home with my thoughts. My cars motor is fixed n everything around house is done. 0 motivation to get back to gym last week, gonna try this week.

I did kinda meet someone who seems to care about me, but it's not fair to her u til I can let my stbxw go.

Any thoughts?



Your wife is right about one thing. You should not have told the kids. Never put your kids in the middle of things. I know you were probably upset and thought telling them was a good idea for a myriad of reasons. 1) you don't want to lie 2) you think she deserves it 3) maybe them knowing the truth will snap her out of it 4) because revenge is sweet.

But here it the thing. Forget her. it isn't fair to the kids. Kids should worry about kids things. Adults adult things. We should never let our adult garbage affect the kids. We should shield them from adult things as much as possible. Is there mom and dirty stinking no good cheating whore? Yep. But they don't need to know that. So keep these adult issues away from the kids.

"Where is mom?"
"She is away for the night."
"Will she be back tomorrow?"
"She should be, but she will let us know for sure tomorrow."

PROTECT THEM FROM THIS CRAZINESS.

As far as work, take the pay cut and keep looking. It is easier to find a job when you have a job. So take the lower paying job but view it is a temporary while you continue to look for something that pays closer to what you were getting paid. You're right, right now is not the time to consider a move.

Last edited by Steve85; 05/29/19 12:14 PM.

M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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