Thanks BT. I'll check that out. XW is with the original AP. They've broken up twice but keep getting back together. Amd the invitation to the cottage came out of the blue. I had to read it a couple of times and check if XW really sent it.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Steve. It's just the family thing. Her inviting me to a familytrip. A painful reminder of what was and what is gone. I was doing quite fine when there was no communication unless it was about the kids. And her telling me that she did this out of guilt and missing us. It all threw me back a year and a half. Straight to the beginning. Why did she have to ask me? She is in a new relationship why not him?
Last edited by petri; 07/29/1912:44 PM.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Dark side mist has that P. But she´s still into that mist. Whatever your expectations (you have them, it´s ok) just keep DB. She has to work on herself. She hasn´t done that. So there´s all that pull-push inertia...not your monkeys P.
Keep focusing on yourself. Keep the GAL. Keep being the lighthouse for the kids. It´s all about yourself now. You wait for no one.
Stay strong P
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Neff. I do have expectations. I expect to be done with this D and have my own life back on track. And I do expect her to stop accusing me for everything. Those are my prime expectations. On the GAL side of things...I've been slipping on that one quite lot lately. Need to make new plans and get a larger social circle. But good news! An old friend got in touch. He had a dream about me and decided to call. We used to be tight but time separated us. Agreed to make time this week to sit down and catch up.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Good to hear your update! Seems your ex-wife hasn't been thinking with a straight mind ever since she left. Sounds like she wants to have everything her way - the freedom to be single and be with her affair partner but the option of having family gatherings with you when it suits her. I haven't seen many instances where you've written here about her sympathy for you, or her concern for how you must be feeling. A good person would take into account how all of this impacts you, and would care about what's comfortable for you, rather than just asking and then blaming when you say no. I hope you can find a woman who cares about your feelings and who treats you with the utmost respect!
You actually have a very good point. She hasn't taken in regard of how I feel about things. She just pops these out like nothing ever happened. If this wasn't happenung to me, I propably wouldn't believe it...
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Despite XW asking me to join her and the kids at her parents cottage and a waterpark nearby. I declined and told her that family trips went to history via D. She said that she asked b/c of guilt and missing us. And later on went on the same how I didn't fight for her and how I didn't love her...when will WWs stop this?
It may never stop, my XW still does stuff like this on and off and we've been D'd for years. Sometimes I accept the invitations and sometimes I don't. I don't know what her motivations are and to be honest I don't care, when I do go it's to spend more time with the kids. You're maybe not 100% detached yet but you'll get there. When you do this kind of stuff won't bother you at all.
