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A Message from Michele
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Moving on to the bright side Part 24 #2844084
04/01/19 02:08 PM
04/01/19 02:08 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2844081#Post2844081

LH - I agree. For me, at minimum....they have to cuss and like to drink. I tried to go on a date with someone that was a non-drinker and the only option was organizing a coffee date. We ended up not meeting but it just felt kind of weird from the start.

Last edited by job; 04/01/19 04:32 PM. Reason: Correct Thread Number

Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844098
04/01/19 02:51 PM
04/01/19 02:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 4,664
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LH19 Offline
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LH19  Offline
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Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
Women I know that showed in their inbox with tons of messages from men. Even G said she got like 20 some matches 1 day on Bumble. I maybe got like 1 message a week and if I was lucky 1 single match every other week on Bumble.

Ok.so you do realize that when you match on Bumble that involves a man and a woman so there are the same amount of men matching as woman. So based on the GInger theory she is matching with men who are in her league while you are selecting women out of your league.

Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
I asked the DR the question and she told me she only would keep her profile up for a few days at the most because she would get tons of messages to weed through. She showed me one from a guy at our gym who said "I see you over their on the stair master with a winking emoji".

Isn't this the same woman who tried to make you jealous with the patient? I have no doubt there are male creepers on OLD. That's why I was a woman I may not do it.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844099
04/01/19 02:54 PM
04/01/19 02:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
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LH19 Offline
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LH19  Offline
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Originally Posted by TBSakaJ9
- I agree. For me, at minimum....they have to cuss and like to drink. I tried to go on a date with someone that was a non-drinker and the only option was organizing a coffee date. We ended up not meeting but it just felt kind of weird from the start.
Totally agree. At times my life is like an episode of Californication so if you find that disturbing we probably won't be a match lol.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844103
04/01/19 03:13 PM
04/01/19 03:13 PM
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Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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LOL.....too funny. It's definitely things like that which you might not think about initially which could end up being a big deal as you get to know someone.

One thing I like about the DR. is that our schedules are very well aligned. She is not a party animal, needing to stay out until midnight partying the night away. While I like to drink and go out we are very much early to bed and early to rise kind of people.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844105
04/01/19 03:23 PM
04/01/19 03:23 PM
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LH19 Offline
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LH19  Offline
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Yep. 80% of my life is bed at 9:30 up at 4:30.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844124
04/01/19 04:49 PM
04/01/19 04:49 PM
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Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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I also like the fact that she has a son and not a daughter as well. I didn't think about stuff like that before but I could see having kids around the same age and the same sex could be problematic. Especially girls.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844130
04/01/19 05:27 PM
04/01/19 05:27 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 4,664
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LH19 Offline
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Yeah my best friend and his ex girlfriend broke up and one of the reasons was because their girls who were the same age didn't get along well.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844134
04/01/19 05:33 PM
04/01/19 05:33 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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Right...I hear that can cause issues. My mom was the one that actually pointed that out to me as one of the girls I went on a couple of dates with had a daughter that was in 6th grade and in competitive cheer. When I was telling my mom about the girl she made the comment that she would be concerned for my 2 daughters and how they would handle it.

She brought up a good point and something that I hadn't thought about before.

When I talk to my mom about the DR she just tells me I am afraid and trying to fight my feelings.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844137
04/01/19 05:43 PM
04/01/19 05:43 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 4,664
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LH19 Offline
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LH19  Offline
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Posts: 4,664
It's tough. I mean just two years ago you thought you were happily married and now you have to decide if you are going to get locked down again maybe for the rest of your life. Crazy right?


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Moving on to the bright side Part 24 [Re: TBSakaJ9] #2844139
04/01/19 06:02 PM
04/01/19 06:02 PM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,553
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TBSakaJ9 Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,553
Yes......it is very hard to describe. I know my XW is not going to return so it's not about her at all. I think the Dr. has really helped me process her and move on in the last 2 months or so. I met my XW in a bar in Chicago and when we started dating I wasn't thinking of anything else, it was just dating and morphed into something more. Heck I wasn't even sure if I liked her at the time however my feelings grew. When you throw kids in the mix it seems like that makes it a little more difficult these days since me being a father and her being a mom is a big component of who we are as people. I am only getting to see part of her in action and the same for her to me.

I just never expected to be faced with something soo soon. I wasn't prepared.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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