What I learned from Wife's MLC- Part 3

[Twofeet]

Her parents initially tried to advice her to stay married but then started supporting her decision to D. Once they saw she was bonding better with them if they told her what she wanted to hear, they did more of that.

I think that's normal for parents to do. My FIL and BIL did the same thing. They're almost left with no other choice.

Remember, her family will have one goal: for her to be happy. No matter what it takes.

Not always the case. Example: In my sitch the XFIL and XMIL care more about our kids than either XW or myself. They have made this known and have had a bit of a falling out (throw XSIL in with XFIL and XMIL) with XW because she puts herself before our children.

[kiro]

What is wrong is when they start validating history rewritten by the WW/WAS just to be on their good side

I think this is a key point you are bringing. 1 of the lessons learned from what we all went through is the subjective nature of history.

Was it Napoleon who said that "History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon"?

Like any story in the media or in the movies... the story is told from the point of view of the director or the author. Who knows what the truth is? I'm sure the WW believes her story... And often many of the things she says are true. They're just exaggerated and she is only cherry picking what suits her tale.

Usually, couples disputes and fights are private matters. No one outside the MR knows what's happening in the MR until 1 of the spouses decides to talk about it. The first one who starts leaking private stories about the other S will usually be believed. Why would they question the validity of what she's telling them?

This is why btw the controversial ebook advises LBHs to take the first step before their WW starts leaking her own stories (to the jude, to psychologists, to friends, etc.).

[Twofeet]

Kiro,

My XW also turned her back on the church and according to her all organized religion. However, she still believes in God. It grinds her gears that our children are still in a private Christian school. Not sure why this all is the case, but if I had to guess she is projecting guilt for the A, which she is still with OM btw.... Who knows... I only put thought to it when she confronts me about private Christian schooling.

[kiro]

My XW also turned her back on the church and according to her all organized religion. However, she still believes in God. It grinds her gears that our children are still in a private Christian school. Not sure why this all is the case, but if I had to guess she is projecting guilt for the A, which she is still with OM btw.... Who knows... I only put thought to it when she confronts me about private Christian schooling.

I usually avoid intentionally to bring my religious side into this forum because I don't want to offend anyone, but I am very opinionated about these matters.

I truly believe in Satan's active work in this world to seduce humans into sin, and turn their back to religion. I don't believe the similarities in all our stories to be any coincidence. It is clear to me that these are all part of one plan and the centerpiece to it is turning people away from God

I also don't believe that agnostics are any different than atheists. Saying "I don't know" "how can I be certain?" blah blah blah is equivalent to saying I don't believe. The whole point is believing without seeing God with our own eyes. If someone thinks that he/she needs to be 100% certain to say I believe, that person does NOT believe.

And I have similar thoughts about those who say they still believe in God but reject all organized religion. That's not belief! That's nothing but b.s. IMHO. That's someone wanting to believe in his own version of the truth. That's like saying "I will only believe what I want to believe even if it is not The Truth". "I" make my own version of the truth. "I" create that truth, thus "I" am the true creator. "I" worship myself.

[kiro]

And what better way to ensure that children will grow up into atheist adults than to break families and turn mothers away from religion?

My 2 boys used to believe in God until my Ex left and started to talk negatively about organized religion. Since then, my S18 says now that he's an atheist and refused to have any conversation about the topic. And my S14 avoids the topic altogether as well.

And it's difficult for me to bring it up because their mother tells them a different story. She even made sure to write explicitly in the settlement agreement verbiage in that regard that we don't need to discuss such matters together and that we don't have to agree on any common values to teach to our kids. And she brought up specifically the topic of organized religion that she no longer believes in.

That's someone who was very religious herself less than 3 years ago.

[gzabetas]

Kiro it seems we are both the same age going down similar paths at the same time.

Yeah my FIL had more guts I guess, but he also has a previous son from another marriage whose wife wont let him see his other son. So he is not only "the hairclub president ..." (being my age you will remember the tv commercial I hope.
He is also a suffer just like us. Its funny how the world works.

My FIL actually got really mean with her, going to bat for me. Kind of Like Megan Markles dad.
Strong and not taking BS. Thank God he did, cause at a time when no one was on my side, he validated me. I needed that.

And here we are to validate you Kiro. We are all in this together, dont forget.

MLCxH, yeah my WW mother actually validated her as you say. There is always one I guess.

[job]

Also, I have removed a posting that was referencing another site as well as the link to a video that was not directly related to this forum and/or DB site.

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Life goes on