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DavidUK Offline OP
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The reason why one of the kids hasn't wanted to see me is because I discovered that W had been getting them to secretly make notes about me whilst with me. Kid obviously doesn't want to talk about it and W doesn't want kid to talk to me about it so WW breaking the court order and claiming to do it because the kid doesn't want to see me - without stating the reason why kid doesn't want to see me.

What Ive done wrong is to discovered W getting the kid to do something bad behind my back and yet I will lose the kids because the kid doesn't want to see me to talk about it.

WW can claim what she likes and so get what she likes until the courts have time to consider evidence, W wanted a court date 8 months away so 4 months is actually good but still by that time the kids will be settled with WW, and so it will go against me even if I win as the court won't want to change their routine.

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A friend of a family member died. WW has text me asking if I am OK.... WW who I discovered had lied to me for years about money, tried to get me into trouble to give her a better chance of getting the kids, tries to turn the kids against me, doesn't want the kids to see me... asks if I am OK... as if for one second she has any regard for my feelings whatsoever.

... and the person who died, before the person had died the kids had created pictures for them to hang on the wall in hospital. WW had asked for the pictures to be taken away and given to her (WW) instead.

Is it wrong to feel annoyed when someone who thinks so little of you shows fake concern?

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Oh man, monkeys live everywhere...


WW H(me): 51
W: 47
T: 26 M: 21
S: 16
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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DavidUK Offline OP
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Been a while so here's an update. I had a day out miles away with the kids. We had a great time. A few days later WW went to the exact same place with them.

I have been wondering why WW keeps copying the things I do with the kids. Today, someone explained why it could be... it is like a dog or cat marking its territory... that it is a known tactic to diminish the good memories the kids have of doing unique things with me. WW goes and does the same thing with them and then it doesn't seem to be so special from the kids perspective having done that only with me. The manipulation by WW is incredible. It is relentless and exhausting.

Anyway, a young lady that I regularly speak to very briefly in passing has been texting me about meeting up for a coffee. She is less than half my age, and stunning. It's nice that she is making an effort to be friends with me. I also went on a blind date with someone but I said in advance that it was just to be sociable and there's no romance. It went well and will meet as friends in the future. She has been single for 7 years.

Today, I was out and about sightseeing on my own and I met a woman on a day trip visiting where I live. I got talking to her and we spent the day together. She said she had been single for 10 years since a very bad relationship that hurt her a lot. She said that she had once been in a relationship for 5 years with someone she had never loved but didn't have the heart to say to him as it would have upset him. I wondered whether WW had felt that way about me. The lady doesn't have any kids, and she goes travelling a lot to lots of different places on her own on a very low budget. She said that she had such a lot of respect for me - it was weird hearing someone say that considering WW had left saying she had no respect for me.

I find that meeting new people and listening to their lives is very interesting. I feel that I am making some progress.

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DavidUK Offline OP
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I have just been informed by my L that W L has been instructed to start divorce proceedings and wants me to get together financial and house valuation info for a divorce.

What should I do?

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DavidUK Offline OP
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I have been learning a lot about narcissism and come to the conclusion that it fits WW - lies, manipulation, smirk, selfishness, no empathy, sense of entitlement, emotionally immature, blaming and deflecting, everything black or white with no grey areas etc. Has anyone else noticed this?

W and I spent about an hour together today. Now that I am more aware of narcissism, I could clearly see the very troubled person hiding behind a happy mask. WW hasn't changed, if anything she's got worse and has taken her troubles with her.

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Originally Posted by DavidUK
I have been learning a lot about narcissism and come to the conclusion that it fits WW - lies, manipulation, smirk, selfishness, no empathy, sense of entitlement, emotionally immature, blaming and deflecting, everything black or white with no grey areas etc. Has anyone else noticed this?

W and I spent about an hour together today. Now that I am more aware of narcissism, I could clearly see the very troubled person hiding behind a happy mask. WW hasn't changed, if anything she's got worse and has taken her troubles with her.



I absolutely believe it fits my exW, too. Although when talking about it with my IC back in the beginning of January, my IC thought she maybe fit a little bit of two disorders. Narcissism and another one that I can't recall off hand. I did look it up afterwards and parts of it seemed to fit as well. My IC said a lot of times people can have a few traits of a couple different ones. We had 2 joint C sessions, therefore, my IC met with my exW both those times. So, it wasn't a diagnosis simply based off what I was telling her in my sessions, either.

Everything you list as traits that your WW shows I saw a lot in my exW. It is truly been mind blowing to me that someone can actually act and portray themselves in such a way. Right before our D was final, she had the audacity to tell me that she's "been working very hard for many weeks with her IC to try to recover from the fear she has of me." The only thing I can come up with is that this is the ONLY justification she can use that can't be completely proven to be false, even though it is. Never once, in our R, have I ever done anything that would cause her to "fear" me. I'm the most laidback person there is. I forgave her TWICE for having A with 2 of my best friends. And was willing to do it a third time! Since having fear of me is a feeling, she can run with that without anyone telling her she's wrong to feel such a way. (Narcissism?) I wanted to tell her that maybe she should be devoting her IC sessions to fixing her own issues, but we all know how that would go!

Hang in there, D.


M: 34 W:34
D:7 D:6 S:3

M: 9.5 years T: 12

OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18
IHS begins
W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18
W files: 12/21/18
D Final: 2/25/19
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DavidUK Offline OP
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I thought I'd give an update... and this may be surprising... I'm at a stage whereby I now quite like not being in a relationship. I am outgoing but like my own company.

WW hasn't yet filed for D although I know she had completed the forms many months ago. My legal advice is surprised she hasn't yet filled.

The kids and I have great times together. I'm now enjoying it more at times than when with WW. One of the kids wants to live with me. The other is under an awful lot of pressure from WW not to stay with me - WW is spending a fortune in legal costs to ensure the kids go to her. It will be months more before a legal decision is made over the kids and the odds are still stacked against me.

I keep going with honesty and integrity in the hope that justice will prevail.

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Guys, the best revenge is to drop them emotionally and create a great life forward for yourself. She a narc. ?! Who cares . She’s an evil manipulating w@@@@e , lucky escape, get out there and GAL , there are plenty of much better women out there , learn from your mistakes and shine !!

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Originally Posted by DavidUK
I have been learning a lot about narcissism and come to the conclusion that it fits WW - lies, manipulation, smirk, selfishness, no empathy, sense of entitlement, emotionally immature, blaming and deflecting, everything black or white with no grey areas etc. Has anyone else noticed this?

W and I spent about an hour together today. Now that I am more aware of narcissism, I could clearly see the very troubled person hiding behind a happy mask. WW hasn't changed, if anything she's got worse and has taken her troubles with her.



Thats my EXWW. NPD to the max. Controlling, manipulative, zero empathy.

Get the docs ready that they asked for. Dont fight it or delay it. Doing so will delay your new life.

And enjoy the attention from other women. They see you for who you are right now. Thats what matters. We are not the past. We are the now.

Pushing the eject button was the best action I have taken for myself in a very long time. Having a GF 13 years my junior is one of the best experiences I have had in my life.


M:16
T:21
H(me) 38
WW: 38
S11 D16 D19
Red Flags of A: March 2018
ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018
Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018
BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018
D Filed: March 27, 2019
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