Standing our ground - together as a family

[Irish M]

Hi everyone

Hi bttrfly and Neffer :-)

so a little email Exchange from the XW.

It started with a warning. Irish, I am not mad at you or the girls. I have no hatred. If you respond with anything mean about me , my family or my friends... I will not respond.

I still believe you are keeping the girls from me. I was thinking about it and I think you do it for their own safety. How is it unhealthy to see me? They can reach out to me when they want .. if they want to. If they don't then that's ok too.

I think you trying to help them and me is a waste of time. Useless to try and i wouldn't undertand why.

Irish, No need to respond or message me .


so, I read this and it clearly shows me she is spinning. Also still very much in a fog of not understanding what she did and the reason the girls don't see her.

XW, I am sorry you still feel that way. I too am not angry and no hatred is felt towards you. I never once told the girls to NOT contact you. They have your number and email. If they chose not to then that's their choice.

Unhealthy , that is an easy one. Your choices and behaviour was at the time unhealthy. You still not asking me how they are in this message shows me it's unhealthy. Clearly you are not ready to face the music.

Don't expect me to be mean to you. There is nothing to be mean about. We are 4 years past the point where I should have been mean. I wasn't then, why would i be now.

I was surprised to hear from you. I am happy to hear from you actually. It shows me your thinking . That you are still denying and avoiding your actions. Until you realize the pain your caused your daughters and face up to it. We have nothign to say. That would be the waste of time. Connecting with your girls and dealing with your mess.. that wouldn't be a waste of time. Only you can drive that.

take care

I think she will take a day or so before she responds. If she responds.

she is still very much blocking out what she did and how. Shame for her. She's missing out on a lot.

Guess her new life is worth it.

Happy Monday everyone

Irish

[DnJ]

Hello Irish

It is nice to hear from you. I think you handled XMIL just fine.

An interesting message from XW. She has always been scared or worried about you or the girls yelling or getting mad at her. She’s got some strange things from her past lurking around, I think.

It is good to see that she is not mad, nor hates, you or the girls. She still has a long way to go for herself.

You sound really good. Are you and GF together?

How is daughter’s brain cyst? No relapse or problems I hope.

Take care Irish

DnJ

[peacetoday]

Your XW seems to have had the same general tape playing in her head for all her time in MLC

Not sure why the girls dont want contact and seems to think it must be because of you

She then adds, maybe you are protecting them from her- but she does not have a clue why that might be

or does she on some level know that her choices and new lifestyle may not be beneficial for the girls

Either way she does not sound like she is going to change anything at this point and her denial is strong

Perhaps at some point her bottom will be so great that she will have no choice but to look within

That is the unknown part for so many of these MLcers

[kml]

She still sounds really messed up. Drugs or mental illness, who knows, but she ain't right. She and DNJ's ex are a lot alike.

[Kyh]

Hi Irish, I hope you and the girls are well!

I found the magazine subscription so bizarre I had to comment on it. I got cosmo, et, people, Star, and a few others for all last year from my ex. I asked her about it and she said she joined a music club. Okay?? Lol In my 30 second search didn’t find any that existed. Did your daughters have a school fundraiser recently? That’s the only sense I can make of my subscriptions.

[bttrfly]

happy thanksgiving Irish!

[Irish M]

Hi everyone.

Hope you all had a great american Thanksgiving and your shopping for Christmas is almost done :-)

I have a few small things left to buy. Amazon will fill in those gaps.

DNJ, thanks for asking about my daughter. Actually her condition is much better. we monitor her stress and diet. Over the summer she had a few spells. But minor. The cyst was now diagnosed as a brain Cavernoma. Its a weakend blood vessle. The symtoms she had was because it bleed. 1 in 200 people have these. Only 15% would have some sort of symptoms. It is usually found during an MRI when looking for something else. She's lucky because with some people it completely disabilitates them. Hers is also in a good place. No where near the brain stem.

We have a follow up MRI early 2020. If ever it does get worse because of its location they can lazer it.
I was asked to do an MRI as a genetic test to see if i have it. They seem to run in famillies.

Hi Peace, yes her hitting bottom is not any time soon. I know christmas in the past she would reach out. Last year it was only to me wishing me love and happiness. Nothing to the girls.

Hi KMl. mental illness is my diagnosis for my XW. I help with the homeless shelters this time a year. A lot of lost souls with mental issues. Sure self medicating takes them to another level. But the core of it all. Something wrong upstairs .

Hi Kyh, Yes the subscription is odd. They keep coming . 3-4 a month. I keep looking for an invoice in the mail. 250$ for 54 magazines. My girls have no fund raising besides their help with me handing out warm blankets and jackets to the homeless. It's in my XW name.. maybe her mother did it so the girls see their mothers name. no clue.

Happy thanks giving bttrfly. ((( hugggss ))) Hope you are well. i know you are in another forum here. SO i dont catch up as much or read all of your posts.


Update for me is My house is going up for sale. We found one and put in an offer yesterday. It was approved so now its off to get it inspected. Its an older home but was build for me. My GF is moving in with us so we will be 5. me, my girls, my GF and her son.

Plenty of land and rooms. A huge upgrade from this house. Girls are overly excited. They just want this chapter of this house where their mom lived is over. They feel haunted by her. Sad.

We will be continuing therapy as it was stopped and now restarting . Great communication is being had. Girls are really opening up , even more than they had in the past. They are amazing, strong women. I am a proud daddy.

I'll check in soon with house news and to wish you all either a merry cristmas, happy hanukkah, happy holidays, winter soltice , Las posadas, happy new years and chinese New year. Lots of reasons to be with family. xx take care

[kml]

If you need a brain MRI and genetic testing, so does your ex wife.

[peacetoday]

Hi Irish

Congrats on the new home and all the terrific movement in your life

Happy for you!!

Happy Holidays!

[job]

Irish,

Merry Christmas to you and your family. Congratulations on the new home and many new memories will made once you and the girls move in.

I am happy to read that your daughter is doing well. I am keeping her in my thoughts and prayers and may the MRI in 2020 show that things are still okay and no additional growth in the cyst.

Enjoy the holiday season!