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ItHurts Offline OP
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That's interesting hongaku. Do I not see something here that you do?


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 161
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I think having had a goodbye kiss or not is in and of itself not so important. All that you have described strikes me as her general level of comfort and intimacy with you is actually increasing, not regressing. She seems to be most grappling with her fear, and she seems to be gradually overcoming it. She has been very consistent in a number of ways based on your descriptions and the phone call on her way home was more telling than a goodbye kiss. I suspect the possibility that she was tempted to stay. She wanted to keep interacting, otherwise she wouldn't have called and asked you the question she did. Just my take on it based on the situation as you have described it thus far... you're the one living it though. I still think you're absolutely on the right track and you are playing it exactly right by moving at her pace. I think it's very possible that she is well on the way to falling back "in love" with you. Keep it up and stay positive!


M: 40 W: 37
T: 20 MR: 13
S13, S9, S4
BD: 1/29/18
Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out)
8/24/18 I come home, she moves out

If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.
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Ithurts- hard to believe after divorce and everything youve been through now youre cuddling on the couch holding hands and kissing sometimes. My WAW left 14 months ago and Id love to get to the spot youre in. Be strong and attractive, do your thing, she is just one aspect of your life not the end all be all.


H: 33 W:32
M: 5 T: 8
D: 4
BD: 6/2017
MO: 6/2017
House sold: 6/28/18
W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18
Paying $ support since 7/18.
Physical Reconnect- 10/18
W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
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ItHurts Offline OP
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I suppose that's true hongaku, thanks. She did share some health issues she has with me and actually did specifically mention "you're the only one I've talked to about this." I suppose you could be onto something there. For now I'm holding my course and seeing where this all leads. I didn't actually think much about the phone call on her ride home... certainly didn't put any significance on it but maybe I should. Yes there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever that she is totally comfortable with me. She also mentioned how guys don't make her laugh. When she mentioned that I thought to myseld how much, how hard, and how often she laughs at me. So that probably helps my cause.
But I don't know...maybe last night did see some progress. It didn't seem it to me at the time.

Hi Did, yes I myself never imagined this happening 4 years later. On of my friends actually said to me a couple weeks back..."If I told you WAW and you would be hanging out 6 months ago you'd have said I was crazy!" He was right. So maybe I'm looking for too much and if I don't get it I see it as no progress. I don't know. That's why it's nice to get peoples' takes on this here. Sometimes an outsider sees things more clearly that I miss...such as hongaku's thoughts.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
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I disagree . I think it played out exactly as I thought it would.

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ItHurts Offline OP
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What do you disagree with LH?


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
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Ok IH hears the deal...
You did great and her trust in you is high right now.
But...next time you have to Kiss her dude seriously.
Good that you trusted your gut this time...there could have been something going on with her you were picking up on.
But next time you have to act.


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Yeah I just sensed that trying anything last night would end badly. I don't think she's there yet. When someone keeps mentioning that they're not ready for a relationship I just don't think it's a good idea to follow that up by trying something. I wasn't feeling it last night. As long as she keeps saying she doesn't want commitment it doesn't exactly open the door for me to try something I guess. That's how I feel anyway and why I don't think it would not end well if I did that.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 473
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I think you need to pull way back. You think you are playing it cool, but she knows you want her... She asked if you were mad that she didn't stay... That's ballsy of her to assume that... She's not waiting for you to make any moves toward her... And she is dating... Even though she down played it, she is open to dating other men...

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ItHurts Offline OP
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Thanks Artista but what exactly can do to pull back? I don't text her, I don't call her, I don't pursue her so all I've really got as an option is to tell her no next time she wants to meet. Other than that there's absolutely nothing I am doing to pull back from. I literally do absolutely nothing except answer her invites. So are you saying I should just tell her I can't the next few times she asks?


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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