it IS unnatural to be living the rest of your life with a partner other than your XH. But it is just as unnatural to be living the rest of your life with no partner at all.
Really? Did you really mean to say this? I see juju questioned it as am I. So I've been living an unnatural life the last 12 years? Wow. Can't say that I agree but who would want to agree they are living an unnatural life. Hope you'll clarify.
Juju used the word 'unnatural' in regards to how it feels to be involved with another person other than her child's father.
My main point was the unnatural part was that her marriage had ended. That however she played her cards from there things would feel horribly wrong at times.
This is important because if she is feeling like a new relationship is unnatural it might not be a 'red flag', it might just be that any path will feel a bit unnatural. Nothing will change the feeling of that loss, but no reason to attribute that to someone new. Breaking it off with new guy won't change the fact that her original marriage is over.
I don't know that I'd use the word unnatural for how I feel about divorce, I was using her verbiage. But in general I consider it a destructive path and the aftermath is lingering. Best I can tell you didn't pick this path for yourself nor did most of us. We have to do the best we can with the hand we are dealt.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
It has been a while. I apologize for the delay in my response.
When i said I was surprised about Zues' response regarding it being unnatural to live the rest of your life without a parter, i meant it more in that I am surprised because i have been posting to zues for years and he seemed committed to a future of being single. He always made it clear that he was not looking to remarry. (At this time anyway) and i was just asking how his life was going.
And hes right. At times, things do feel very wrong. To me, its not natural that a biological father electively leaves his son. It goes against evolution. (Hes not looking to have more kids with others) and logically is it natural to expect that a non biological dad can love his step child? I hope thats possible. I know i would be capable of loving step children. But natural would be a family working together to ensure survival of their offspring.
Its also very different partnering with someone at this stage in life. We are no longer naive or going into it blindly. I know first hand the difficulties of marriage and long term partnership and financial betrayal.
And yeah, i have to work with the hand i am dealt. I know that.
I want to address Focus' post to me when i start a new thread. She talks about not trusting ourselves. Very true. I have anxiety so i am never sure of my reality which makes decision making hard. It is why i tey to follow logic more then limerance.
It was easier for me to trust in my ex then in myself. I dont want to do that again. Thats my fear. And you do lose yourself that way.
