Any tips for dealing with Mother's Day tomorrow. She going to pick up the kids and take them to her mom's. I don't plan om giving her a gift or telling her Happy Mother's Day. Just wondering what to do if she makes a comment like "Aren't you even going to tell me Happy Mother's Day?"...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I don't plan om giving her a gift or telling her Happy Mother's Day. Just wondering what to do if she makes a comment like "Aren't you even going to tell me Happy Mother's Day?"...
What do you think this will accomplish?
Also waiting on the line for two minutes and hanging up and then calling her back 15 minutes later? Very weak my friend.
You have passive aggressive tendencies. Something to work on.
Any tips for dealing with Mother's Day tomorrow. She going to pick up the kids and take them to her mom's. I don't plan om giving her a gift or telling her Happy Mother's Day. Just wondering what to do if she makes a comment like "Aren't you even going to tell me Happy Mother's Day?"...
Assuming she even shows up I think I'd say "You're not my mother."
You could take the kids to the store tonight and let them pick out a gift. But have them give it to her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I don't plan om giving her a gift or telling her Happy Mother's Day. Just wondering what to do if she makes a comment like "Aren't you even going to tell me Happy Mother's Day?"...
What do you think this will accomplish?
Also waiting on the line for two minutes and hanging up and then calling her back 15 minutes later? Very weak my friend.
You have passive aggressive tendencies. Something to work on.
I was under the impression that birthdays, holdiday, etc. were not to be acknowledged when dealing with a WW having an A. Am I wrong about this?...
And the phone thing is just normal for me to do with anyone. If I'm holding on the other line for more than 2 minutes, I assume the other call is important, so I go about my business and call back later to finish talking. In this case though, I wish I never would have called back...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Your focus for Mother's Day is on how you support your children to manage and demonstrate their care and regard for their mother.
Your responsibility is teach your children about the value of appreciation and gratitude.
They have a mother who rightly or wrongly is their mother, strengthening connection and relationship and love between them is important.
And rightly or wrongly this person sometime in the past she is the person you chose to be the mother of your children you and you have the loving legacy of children because of this. Demonstrate you appreciation of this if nothing else.
We all get that this person has failed in their commitment to their family. We all get that you don't want to send mixed messages. But don't be a-hole about this. She gave you the gift of fatherhood. Be the man only a fool for leave and handle this with grace and dignity.
W has the kids right now. She was supposed to pick them up at 12:00, but didn't show up until 12:45. She's bringing them back at 6:00. This is the first time since the middle of February she's spent time with them lasting longer than 15 minutes. She usually pops up once or twice a week for 5-10 minutes grabbing something from the house and pats them on the head and tells them she loves them then goes on her way. I'm curious as to how well she will handle being a parent since she's had such a long break from parental responsibilty...
I also told her Happy Mother's Day when she picked them up and left it at that. I didn't want to be a dick...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
It's usual that the LBS doesn't acknowledge those. There is a caveat though that children are encouraged to acknowledge, so a gift made by the kids for mothers day (or dads day), a small gift bought by them even if it's from pocket money you gave them seems appropriate. Don't buy it though, kids choose interesting things as gifts too. And if the kids are old enough and they choose not to then get out of the way.
I would always acknowledge a bereavement or serious loss. Especially if it affected the kids.
My thoughts
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thanks, Vanilla... I always appreciate anything you have to say...
Juju... Thank you for your input as well. It was your post that made me realize I should say Happy Mother's Day because it means nothing more than that. I felt better saying it than not. And you're right about non-existent parents being parents on certain days. It's all for show...
W dropped the kids back off at 6:00 as planned. She was pretty cold during our interaction. She showed up with a frozen pizza that she cooked at her house for the kids, but brought it here because she didnt have any dishes at her place. She was kind of a jerk about it. Came to the door and said, "Do you want to bring this in or can I? Because I guess I'm not allowed in the house." while rolling her eyes. I told her she could go in and get things ready for them. She cut the pizza and then walked back outside. She told me she would be back tomorrow to get some shelves, dishes, and the table and chairs from the basement because CEFS was doing a house check on Tuesday. This basically means that she has been telling CEFS that the kids have been living with her for the past several months, but has no proof and it looks like no one lives in her place. She also had her uncle, Uncle Enabler, buy bunk beds for the boys today and her mom is bringiing her a bed for our daughter tomorrow. So it looks like she can finally show CEFS on Tuesday that kids are in the house. Her whole demeanor was very cold the entire 10-15 minutes she was there. Then she left...
Tucking the kids into bed tonight, and D asked me why mommy and I were getting divorced. I explained to her the best I could that I didn't want to , but mommy wanted some time to herself and maybe we won't get divorced. It was not their fault (S was in the room also) and we both loved them and I hoped that mommy would come home sometime when she figured out what she wanted. Then D tells me that W asked her if I still love her. D says, yes dadfy loves you a lot. He tells us all the time. Then D asked W what if he didn't ove you? W told D I would be really sad and cry a lot. Then W told D that she wanted to come back home, but I wouldn't let her (Totally not true). WTF?!?!? I'm not sure how to process this information. Or if there's really any substance to it. Could just be my 9 year old daughter getting things mixed up. Anyway, the whole thing about W asking if I still love her to our D and saying she wants to come back but I won't let her has me confused...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
