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mtb1981 Offline OP
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W sent me a text last night asking if I tried to call her because her phone died. I did not and did not reply to the text. She called me this morning at 6:30. I did not answer. This behavior is bizarre. During the day yesterday, she told me she never wanted to speak with me again and to not contact her unless it was about the kids. Now she's randomly trying to contact me. I would assume she's trying to keep me attached...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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A good assumption MTB.
Stick to your guns, you're doing great. Clearly its working.

I look forward to the opportunity to implement this tactic effectively once TRO is gone.


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,385
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Originally Posted By: mtb1981
W sent me a text last night asking if I tried to call her because her phone died. I did not and did not reply to the text. She called me this morning at 6:30. I did not answer. This behavior is bizarre. During the day yesterday, she told me she never wanted to speak with me again and to not contact her unless it was about the kids. Now she's randomly trying to contact me. I would assume she's trying to keep me attached...


Walk-aways and waywards hate to lose control of the LBS. You can see this throughout the threads here. As soon as the LBS becomes proficient at GAL, detaching, and 180ing suddenly the WAS/WS wants to try to exert more control over them.

Likely she hasn't given up on her quest for the $2k. After she lashes out, in her mind, she thinks she'll still be able to get it by playing sweet. If mtb engages her, shortly she will turn the subject back to the $2k. If she has a drug habit, which is quite likely, she wants that $2k badly.

mtb, stick to your guns! You've got this!


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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Thanks, Steve and Orange. I've just decided to keep my phone turned off today while I'm at work. I figure I'll turn it on during lunch to see if there are any important messages from anyone else. This way, I won't be tempted to engage if the phone does ring or a text from her comes through. The next few days are going to really odd. My youngest son and I share a birthday coming up on Tuesday. So I'm guessing she'll use that as an excuse to contact me and try to interject more of the money talk. Like I mentioned earlier, she's broke, unemployed, and got herself into situations that she can't financially take care of with her new place (honestly it was only a matter of time before it caught up with her anyway. Her rent is $900 a month, and she was only making about $1200 a month when she still had her job). She's gonna do whatever it takes to get some money to keep her fantasy afloat...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,668
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She left, not your responsibility right now my friend.
Let the weight of reality come tumbling down.

Loss leads to reality.


M: 30, EX-W: 30, S:4
M: Sept 16'
A: Jan 17'
WW Left: Oct '17,
EXW Filed TRO: Jan 18',
I Filed D: Feb 18',
TRO Extended 1 yr - May 18'
Final Hearing - Sept 11th 18'
D Final Dec. 18'
TPO on FIL Oct 18'
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Posts: 616
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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Just went back and read through my first thread. Sandi gave me a lot of good advice, and I did my best to follow it. But eventually I would screw up and get setback. Looking back, I wish I would have followed everything she said exactly to a tee. I think I would be much further down the road and in a better place. Like they say, hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, if you're out there, Sandi, you're advice was golden. I just wish I would have been able to do a better job of following it...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 71
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Hi, just remember that you tried your best and that it is way better to improve in following those advices today rather than tomorrow. You cannot be an expert at the beginning. By improving and following the advice your sitch might be better in the future. You cannot do anything about what has been except learning from it.
Of course, I know that is easier said than done.,. But there are many in this forum that has already gone through this, and I think that it had been a learning process for most.


H-30s W-30s
M-5 T-10
D4
ILYBNILWY/BD-May/17
W moves out-May/17
D filed-May/17
House sold, move to apartment-Aug/17
D going through-Jan/18?
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And I agree with previous responders, it is most likely about the money.


H-30s W-30s
M-5 T-10
D4
ILYBNILWY/BD-May/17
W moves out-May/17
D filed-May/17
House sold, move to apartment-Aug/17
D going through-Jan/18?
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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And things get weirder...

Got an email a little bit ago saying someone tried to get access to my Venmo and Paypal accounts, so I changed my passwords. I wonder who that coul have been??? Lol...

Then I get a call from a friend that said W had made a comment to one of her friends yesterday that she felt like taking a bunch of pills and ending it all. The girl she told this to was someone she had been running around with the past month or two. The friend had kind of quit hanging out with her because she was "tired of her $hit". Her friend told her to go ahead and do it, that all she wanted was attention, and she was over all of her drama. So friend calls W's BFF and tells her. BFF tracks W down at OM's house and beats on the door until he answers. W was laying on the couch, and I guess BFF ripped her a new one, telling her how stupid she's been, that she needs to get her act together and grow up. Told her she needed to go home and spend time with her kids instead of getting effed up hanging out with OM...

W's fantasy bubble is popping real quick. But it's still gonna be awhile until she smacks the bottom. Honestly, I'm kind of glad all of this has happened in the past week. It's made it so much easier to detach. As crappy as it sounds, this is the best I've felt in a while. It's just too bad it had to happen like this...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
M
mtb1981 Offline OP
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Posts: 616
It just keeps getting crazier...

Last night, I was home with all of the kids. We needed milk so I was going to make a quick trip to the grocery store. I had a weird feeling, so I told my oldest son to keep an eye on the kids while I was gone and if W came over to not let her in. She had been making comments lately about taking things from the house. So in the 20 - 30 minutes while I was gone, she showed up. I don't know if it was a coincidence that she showed up while I was gone, or she had been keeping an eye on the house waiting for me to leave. Anyway, she came over, son wouldn't let her in. She told him she needed some Tylenol and that was why shw was stopping by. He went and grabbed the bottle, handed it to her through the door, and locked the house back up. She left. On my way back, I passed W on the road, and she did a quick U-turn and followed me home. Be fore I could even get out of the car, she was out of the van and standing by the car door. Started yelling at me that I was keeping the kids from her, which is far from the truth. I've beem trying to get her to spendtime with them for months. Her second sentence was asking if I had filed for divorce yet. We had only talked about seriously getting divorced the day before. I told her no and that she needed to leave leave. She looked like a hot mess. I couldn't tell if she was high, had been crying all day, or both...

Told her toleave again and she said no. Her BFF was in the van with her. I just went inside. 5 minutes later, I noticed she was still outside. I went back out and asked her to leave again. She still refused. I went back in and 5 minutes later she came beating on the door asking for her mail. I gave her the mail and told her to leave again. She still refused. Another length of time goes by and she's still outside. I go out once again and ask her to leave and if I need to call the police to get her to go. She just smiled. At that point, I knew she had already called them, so I went inside and waited...

Sure enough, a few minutes later the cops show up. She goes into a rant about how I need to give her $2000 dollars and she wans inside to take half the stuff. The cop asks me to wait on the propch while he talks to her, so I do. They talk for awhile and the he talks to me. I explained the whole situation about how she left months ago and showed up out of the blue accusing me of trying to keep the kids away from her. He told me that this was not a police matter, and I agreed. I wasn't the one who called them. Sohe goes on to explain that she can't take any communal propert from thr house without a court order, which I already knew. Told me that the kids were best off staying with me like they had been for stability, but we needed to come up with some agreement on visitation. I agreed. I told him that I didn't want her showing up randomly causing a scene. That if she wanted to see the kids or get something from the house,she needed to contact me in advance. He agreed. So he told her she had to leave...

I don't think things turned out the way she planned. I think she thought the cops would show up and just let her go in the house and take whatever she wanted. I was pretty fed up after she left, so I grabbed some garbage bags and packed up the rest of her stuff and put it in the garage. So when she shows up next time to get her things, they are alread neatly and conviently packaged and ready to go.No need to even go inside. I'm so over this crap...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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