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Re: [Re: job] #2796029
06/14/18 12:42 PM
06/14/18 12:42 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,709
Midwest
D
DonH Online
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DonH  Online
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D
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,709
Midwest
Originally Posted By: job
DonH,

You have not been around much in the last month. The forum has an issue these days with disappearing postings. We have all been experimenting to see what the system will accept and what it will not. We have found that contractions, using special characters, copying and pasting from a document, as well as from cell phones, laptops and using other forms of software sometimes throws the system into a crazy mode of disappearing postings. Also, lengthy postings trip the disappearing act as well. It's been a trial by error type of situation.

As moderators, we have informed the higher ups of the issue and it is my understanding that they are working on it and they will be doing something with the system in the next month or so. We ask that you please be patient. As I move through the postings, I am looking for those blank postings and will attempt to restore them for the posters.



Job, I'm very well aware of the disappearing posts as it's been going on for like a month or maybe two now. Not sure why you think I've not been around as I've been here pretty much every day or other day for the last year - whether I'm posting or not. Hmmmmmm, I wonder if the system is not logging me in either?

I know there is not at all anything the moderators can do about it, but I would think that by now IT could have fixed it. My hunch is, there is no "IT department" as MWD has not released a new book, the website has not had a new or updated look in 10 years and, well, it just appears things are coasting along, sort of like an old car - as long as it keeps running they will keep using it but they are not about to put any money into it. Totally just my thoughts. I'm sure any competent IT professional could have figured this out by now. I'd just hate to see the forums go away as web technology changes a lightening pace - often to keep up with SPAM and hack treats, etc. and well, the program running this board is very, very old and outdated. It is just a matter of time until they will have to replace it with current technology, or turn it off. I'm just hoping that doesn't happen - rather than disappearing posts, it would be a disappearing forum. That would be sad.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: [Re: DonH] #2796074
06/15/18 12:09 AM
06/15/18 12:09 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,163
Southern Maryland
job Online

Member
job  Online

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,163
Southern Maryland
Georgia,

Sorry for the hi-jack on your thread.

Don,

I totally agree w/what you posted. I do not want to see the forum fall off the map as there are people who need a safe place to come for support We have so many wonderful people who come here to help each other from all walks of life and who give of their time each and every day to post, or they may read and circle back to post a day, week or a month later...but they care. Sometimes, this forum is far better than sitting in therapist's office. This forum isn't just about relationships, we share things such as recipes, vacation tips, how to repair things in the home or car repairs, etc. It's a place to come to share and learn how to survive once a relationship dissolves. It really would be a pity to allow this forum to drop.

I would like share this with you and the posters...the system upgrade was placed on hold for the time being...but they are in the process of redesigning the entire site, which hopefully, will be completed in 30 days per Virginia. I am hoping that they will take a hard look at the system upgrade as I do not think redesigning of the site is going to fix the issue...but I'm not an IT professional...so what do I know?

Re: [Re: DonH] #2796110
06/15/18 03:26 AM
06/15/18 03:26 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,117
NY
Cadet Offline

Member
Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,117
NY
Originally Posted By: DonH
the program running this board is very, very old and outdated.

Actually the IT department is part of UBB, and UBB has updated their software, however we do not have the current version.

I am only guessing that the redesign of the forum is part of all this.


Me-66, D33,S32
Re: [Re: Cadet] #2796124
06/15/18 04:49 AM
06/15/18 04:49 AM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,866
D
doodler Offline
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doodler  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,866

I'm hoping they start selling DB t-shirts on the updated forum. I can think of some good t-shirt slogans:

- I love you, but I'm not in love with you
- He's just a friend
- I'm polyamorous
- Soul mates forever or until I meet my next soul mate
- It was just the tip
- The children will be happier
- It was an accident, he just fell in...

Re: Big Hair. Donít Care [Re: Georgiabelle] #2803479
07/25/18 02:54 PM
07/25/18 02:54 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
G
Georgiabelle Offline OP
Member
Georgiabelle  Offline OP
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G
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
So when all of the posts were invisible, I suppose I was as well smile I'm baaaaaack!

I can't believe school starts back next week. We like to send the kids back to school when it's boiling outside.S15 is 5'10, D13 is 5"8 and S 8 is almost 5 feet. I've got to get higher heels. I'm still taller than S8 and the dog, but everyone else is looking down on me.

I have to go to training next week for work. An entire week so I will miss their first day of school. That makes me sad but I need to get this out of the way. Work is busy but going well. I really enjoy being a sales coach and I have the best team evah!

So the guy I dated for a year and a half sent me a text asking if I wanted to meet for a drink the following week. That was 2 months ago? Haven't heard from him. He was struggling with me not viewing our R the same way he did. I was very honest and said him "vanishing" for a bit changed the way I felt. I enjoyed spending time with him and liked him, but that all he had to do was say "I have a lot going on and I can't see you right now." He did not. He had some jealousy issues as well. Great guy and I wish him well. Do I miss him some? Yes on occasion. However, I will not be introducing anyone to my kids again. This guy was talking marriage and stuff and my kids heard that. Shame on me. He has some personal challenges and who knows? Maybe we can be friends again in the future.

Soooooo, the guy that makes my heart go pitter patter? The playa? Oh he is sooooo funny. He does some stuff around my house. We click on a humor level. We do chat almost every day (he initiates except when I had to initiate because the alarm kept going off at 3am). Physcially ( and I have been very clear that I rarely experience sexual attraction) he just makes me drool.... He is 6'5 and he is black. I am finding that I am more physically attracted to black men and the way they interact with me. But I've only been biblical with him a couple of times. He always talks about us going away together but I don't buy that. I think he gets caught up in the moment and I am just a roster member. However, I am okay with that. We actually click personality wise and will be nothing more than friends.


So I decided to sign up for OLD. I hear everyone say how awful it is and it has been fun for me. I have a tendency to attract struggling artists, actors, etc. However, I may be the only woman who meets successful, employed men online. If you have been following along, you know that no figs are given by me of what someone does for a living. I'm not into money or status, I always hope I meet someone who is happy in their life-regardless of what they do. Most of the men I meet are looking for a R and I am honest that I am open, but only with the right person. I did kind of click with one guy (a former semi pro soccer player), but he said he couldn't casually date. He is hot and funny, but we aren't a fit. Almost every guy I have gone out with has not been married and has no kids-which is cool. It's just funny because I have 3 smile I also met a really cute Fed ex driver I met at the hardware store (he's black as well and 31). He, too is 6"4. He reaches out every day but I think he just likes to talk. It's all good. And the 24 year old Justin Bieber look alike I met at lunch. Omg. He is adorable but I'm not interested in that. All of these guys work out 2 hours a day so they are fit. Meanwhile, GB classifies Skittles as a fruit.

I will update more later. Hugs and positive energy to everyone! xoxo


Me-42 xh-41
3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Re: Big Hair. Donít Care [Re: Georgiabelle] #2803545
07/25/18 07:41 PM
07/25/18 07:41 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,320
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Dawn70 Offline
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Dawn70  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,320
Originally Posted by Georgiabelle

So I decided to sign up for OLD. I hear everyone say how awful it is and it has been fun for me. I have a tendency to attract struggling artists, actors, etc. However, I may be the only woman who meets successful, employed men online. If you have been following along, you know that no figs are given by me of what someone does for a living. I'm not into money or status, I always hope I meet someone who is happy in their life-regardless of what they do. Most of the men I meet are looking for a R and I am honest that I am open, but only with the right person. I did kind of click with one guy (a former semi pro soccer player), but he said he couldn't casually date. He is hot and funny, but we aren't a fit. Almost every guy I have gone out with has not been married and has no kids-which is cool. It's just funny because I have 3 smile I also met a really cute Fed ex driver I met at the hardware store (he's black as well and 31). He, too is 6"4. He reaches out every day but I think he just likes to talk. It's all good. And the 24 year old Justin Bieber look alike I met at lunch. Omg. He is adorable but I'm not interested in that. All of these guys work out 2 hours a day so they are fit. Meanwhile, GB classifies Skittles as a fruit.

I will update more later. Hugs and positive energy to everyone! xoxo



Great update! Mr. 6'5" sounds dreamy. wink

I think everyone has different experiences with OLD. It wasn't my thing, though it is how I met Sparky, but I know others who it has worked out great for. One of my closest friends married a guy she met through OLD a few months ago. I'm not necessarily into money or status either, but I DO want someone with a job because I don't want to financially support anyone other than myself and my dog. I don't care what the job is....he can be a burger flipper at McDonalds or the CEO of a bank, but he needs to make his own money because I make my own and I don't expect him to support me any more than I want to support him. I think those of us who don't have good luck with OLD probably have a variety of reasons we don't. For me, personally, for some reason, I tend to attract either dudes who don't work for any number of reasons or who dudes who are on disability. I don't have anything against disability, but I went down that road with my XH and I do not want to voluntarily go down it again because it is a HARD path.

I'm SO glad you are having positive experiences with it! I love your posts because you are one of the most positive folks I read on here and it is nice to see folks doing well and doing their thing. I'm with you on skittles being a fruit...Starburst too. wink


Me 50, H51
3 adult daughters from XH's first marriage (plus 4 grandkids)
Divorce final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
1 adult daughter and bonus daughter-in-law from current H's first marriage
Re: Big Hair. Donít Care [Re: Georgiabelle] #2803576
07/25/18 10:55 PM
07/25/18 10:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,420
K
kml Offline
Member
kml  Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,420
Nothing sexier than a tall sexy black man in my book! You go girl!

Re: Big Hair. Donít Care [Re: kml] #2806673
08/14/18 01:27 AM
08/14/18 01:27 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
G
Georgiabelle Offline OP
Member
Georgiabelle  Offline OP
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G
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
What an expensive day!!!! I really need to sell this house and move into a townhome. That is another ball of wax. But Iím going to have to get cracking on that ball of wax. Is it Friday...yet? :-)

So, I want to be self aware. I took my OLD profile down after 7 weeks. It felt like a lot of work. I understand relationships take work, however, Iím not that committed right now. In a perfect world, I would like someone funny and that Iím sexually attracted to. And while I have sorta found that, Iím on a roster of sorts. So, Iím in rotation which I realize should make me feel used or devalued. I feel nothing of the sort. I may be even more detached than these men. Actually, according to them I am. Which sometimes makes me wonder if will ever meet someone I really like. Guess Iím just shooting for sexual attraction in the interim. Itís rare.

I dunno. Thinking outloud Ed Sheerhan style :-)


Me-42 xh-41
3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Re: Big Hair. Donít Care [Re: Georgiabelle] #2806690
08/14/18 03:55 AM
08/14/18 03:55 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,420
K
kml Offline
Member
kml  Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,420
I kinda get it. After the exhaustion of dealing with crazy exBF, I went through a period where I was perfectly happy to go back to being just one of the women in rotation with my old Love Avoidant friend.He was excellent company when I saw him and he required nothing of me when I wasn't there. I would have liked to have had a little more of him but always understood that wasn't his deal. If he hadn't ghosted me I'd probably still be happy with that arrangement.

But since he did I dipped my toes back into the dating pool and was promptly snapped up by Caterpillar Mustache Man. (Really its fine in person lol). I feel like the Avoidant now because he wants to fall madly deeply in love and I'm just........ cautious. It's going well so far - I think perhaps I'm just too jaded/experienced/analytical to let myself jump all the way into the deep end yet. If he wants me he'll just have to be patient with taking it slow emotionally. (But I'm enjoying the regular sex which he is kind of genius at.)

You're right, dating is a lot of work. You can just have FWBs if you prefer. But make sure this is your choice and not just about your insecurities,

Last edited by job; 08/14/18 12:01 PM. Reason: Corrected text for kml
Re: Big Hair. Donít Care [Re: Georgiabelle] #2811272
09/08/18 01:01 AM
09/08/18 01:01 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
G
Georgiabelle Offline OP
Member
Georgiabelle  Offline OP
Member
G
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,889
Thanks KML. Iíve been reading along about Gingerís online dating adventures and decided to share my own. Iíve got a good one.

So, I shut down my match profile about a month ago. It was too much soooooo last week I downloaded Bumble. One guy, we will call him J asked me to meet for a drink. Heís 40. He asks if his age bothers me. I say the bigger question is does my age bother you? He laughs. If I have not pointed this out, the men that are interested in me are never married, no kids and work out 2 hours a day. Good. For. Them. Anyway, we meet. He played college football, is cute, funny and seems normal. I like to keep my initial dates to 2 hours or less. When I get to my car, he texts me that he thinks Iím gorgeous, normal (haaaa!) and would I like to go out again.

The guy I met yesterday.....was flirty over text but not inappropriate. Heís an actor (wasnít smiling in any of his pics) so I wasnít sure what I would think. 39. Never married. No kids. And a former dating coach:-). He seemed anxious to meet and again was...flirty. We meet and I canít tell if heís disappointed (every person says I look exactly like my pics and theyíve all been taken in the last month). Heís cuter in person and tells me about shows/films he has worked on. Heís very smart and still flirty but....more funny. We have very easy banter and I *think* he finds me attractive but not sure there is any connection or chemistry. I go to my car and we hug and say nice meeting you. When I get to my car he texts asking what to do around where he is. I know I will get an eye roll but Iím a pretty good judge of peeps. I said ďyou can come hang at my house for a while if you want.Ē He says ďare you sure?Ē I said it was fine.

He gets to my house and my dog loves him. He sits on one couch and me on the other. The conversation flows but itís a little odd because he is teasing me about where I grew up, my height, etc. He stays for about 2 hours and we just talk. Never touch each other. He is getting ready to leave and bends down to pet my dog and smacks my booty. I was a bit caught off guard but long ago Iíve written that for the guys with a booty fetish, I get TONS of attention. Itís kind of odd sometimes. So odd that my daughter says she hopes she doesnít inherit ďthe buttĒ. Anyways, he gets up, says nice meeting you and leaves. I know Iím never going to hear from him again so I texted him, ď so, as a dating coach did you encourage clients to smack people on the butt right after they meet them? :-). No response.

Iím the only woman who hears about men online looking for hookups but I never meet those peeps. JK. Thought the story was funny.

Hugs to everyone.


Me-42 xh-41
3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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