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WBM #2788775 05/08/18 03:34 AM
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I am still getting a lot of hateful threats about L and D. I try not to engage when my W has been drinking, which is usually when these threats occur. As much as I am not on board with selling the house, my thoughts wander to moving out temporarily until we D. I don't want a D, but, I can't see that our sitch is getting any better. I saw some improvement months ago, but all of that seems to be circling the drain now. I still GAL as much as I can, but any attempts at validating her feelings are met with pure hostility.

Her new circle of friends party a lot and are very against us working on our M at all. She has surrounded herself with people that aren't very marriage minded, and will agree with her to keep the party going.

I smh at what my W has turned into. I don't even recognize her anymore. I saw a glimpse of my real W a few weeks ago, followed by her evil twin, and that cycled back and forth for several hours. It mad me sad. Sad to know that my real w is still in there somewhere.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
WBM #2789336 05/10/18 08:38 AM
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Posts: 106
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I spoke with a L last week so I now have some understanding of what my rights are if we D. That put my mind at ease somewhat and made me less anxious about what a D would look like, at least from the financial side.

My W is still talking with the ex boyfriend, and she doesn't know that I know they are still talking. The feeling of betrayal at her likely being involved in an EA with an old flame is crushing. She swears they are just friends and there is nothing to worry about, but, isn't that all part of the script?


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
WBM #2791891 05/24/18 05:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,387
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Originally Posted By: WBM
she drinks an average of 6-10 drinks a day


You can't fix that. Take care of yourself. Shop around for a good therapist and a good lawyer. Hurts like hell but you gotta get away from her. I'm sorry.


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final
ForGump #2791898 05/24/18 05:56 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,443
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Originally Posted By: ForGump
Originally Posted By: WBM
she drinks an average of 6-10 drinks a day


You can't fix that. Take care of yourself. Shop around for a good therapist and a good lawyer. Hurts like hell but you gotta get away from her. I'm sorry.

Sounds like both of you need AA, one for drinking, and one for enabling.


Me-68, D35,S34
Cadet #2791905 05/24/18 06:24 AM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 106
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Since my last post, I have started IC, and also have been prescribed meds for severe depression. Both have began to give me clarity to see how our M has been very destructive on both sides for the last several years.

I am working on my own issues, and am no longer working towards recon. I have let her go and am moving forward with my life. It hurts me to know that addiction has taken away the person that I vowed to love and stand by forever, but, she is no longer that person.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
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