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OrangeK #2787207 04/27/18 04:57 AM
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Because they need plan B to fund an A!

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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


OrangeK #2787208 04/27/18 05:03 AM
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My W once told me that it was up to me to file, and then spent the next few weeks angry with me because I did not do as she wanted. Mine uses it as leverage I think. To get me to meet her demands because she knows that I don't want a D.

After the first BD, she did the same. Yelling about a D but never filed. Sometimes, esp after BD2, I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
WBM #2787227 04/27/18 07:18 AM
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You said your W is a "heavy daily drinker." How many drinks per day? And she drinks every single day?


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final
ForGump #2787234 04/27/18 07:42 AM
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ForGump: she drinks an average of 6-10 drinks a day and usually in a short span of time. Some days are more, and very few days are less. Beer mostly, although I have seen harder stuff thrown in there too. I have been GAL a lot more, so I don't see the affects of it like I used to.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
WBM #2787481 04/30/18 04:43 AM
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Journaling: I have been GAL more than ever and just trying to stay out of her space. She rotates between being nice and nasty. She stopped me before I was leaving one night and told me that she will be filing soon. I asked her if she felt that being divorced would solve all of her problems and make her instantly happy. She responded that she will be much more happy once the divorce is final. The roller coaster ride is maddening. The rewriting of marital history is maddening. The push/pull is maddening. I need to work much, much more on detaching.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
WBM #2788022 05/03/18 07:37 AM
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My W began packing her things and moving them out of the house today. She wants to get the house ready to sell and hopes that once it is put on the market that it will sell quickly. She doesn't have anyplace else to go right now, so we are still both living in the house. It is sad to see her things getting moved out, but the family photos and other mementos of our life together left behind. I did not react at all when I saw, I just went forward what I was doing. It hurt though.

I know that we are not supposed to believe anything that they say and only half of what they do.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
WBM #2788030 05/03/18 08:00 AM
Joined: Feb 2018
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WBM, are you on board with selling the house?


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
SteveLW #2788040 05/03/18 08:30 AM
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Steve: I am not on board with selling the house. I don't think that we have any equity in it (we have lived here for only 2 years) and we would get no return on the investment. She is pressing for the sale since she wants to D and needs the money for her new life after our M is over. She sees dollar signs, and a path to her new, happy, M free life.

My L suggested contacting banks to see if I would even qualify for a refinance of the mortgage. The mortgage is large, so it is possible that I won't qualify with my income alone.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
WBM #2788043 05/03/18 08:39 AM
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Ok, here is my advice. Do nothing to help her. Make her do all of the work. Likely with her drinking problem she will NOT follow through on this. She will get frustrated and eventually give up.

Worst thing she could do is stop paying her share (if she is currently paying on it). Then you'll have to decide a course of action based on that.

Remember, seller has to pay the realtor's commission, that cuts into your equity too. Unless you sell it by owner, and then again put that all on her.

What broke my wife's fantasy bubble was all of the realities that were contrary to her perception of what could happen.


M(52), W(53),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
SteveLW #2788048 05/03/18 09:00 AM
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I haven't done anything to facilitate the sale of our home. She hasn't spoken to a realtor yet, but claims that she already has an appraisal and that we are going to get a large amount of money by selling. I have not seen the appraisal yet, and I am skeptical that there is one. She won't stop paying on the loan because she doesn't want to hurt her chances on financing another house in the future.

I have no desire to sell the house and have mentioned that to her. She tries to put pressure on me to sell the house before we D.

She wants to sell the house and wants to D, but, I see very little action to match those words. Mostly, empty threats, albeit very loud threats. She gets very angry and upset when I don't jump on board with the house sale and D plans. I don't want to stand in the way of what she wants, but I am also not going to do any of the work for her.

Thanks for the advice Steve. I am hopeful that she won't follow through on any of it. But, I am still preparing myself in case she barrels forward and files.


M: 50 W: 47
No kids together
M: 10 T: 11
BD #1: 12/14
R #1: 7/15
BD #2: 1/18
D Filed: 6/18/18
D Final: 01/28/19
Currently still in-house
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