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A Message from Michele
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Moving forward #2779740
02/23/18 05:16 PM
02/23/18 05:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
Member
T384  Offline OP
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Hi Everyone! I received a random email from MWD and figured I️ should post a little update here. I wonít bore everyone with all the details over the last several months and my post here will hopefully help others to know there can be some peace after heartache.

I graduated! Iím officially a NP and offered my dream job at my dream practice 5 minutes from home. Goodbye 1.5 hour each way commute! Iím pretty proud of myself seeing that the practice sought me out and I negotiated my salary And benefits and I made out very well.

Iím also divorced. ExH got more custody than i wanted (65/35) but it was a ploy to pay less CS and heís already not taking the boys as much although I will say he has stepped up some. He moved to PA in December for a whopping 10 days. He moved back days after the temporary child support and alimony was ordered (4K/month) and suddenly wanted 50/50 custody. Heís on GF #3? He was throughout the divorce very cold and we rarely spoke unless about the boys. I did not put up with any BS from him and ignored him unless it was kid related for the most part. He suddenly has taken an interest in being friendly. Since the D he has messaged me everyday. He seems to find reasons to stop by and most recently text me last weekend asking if Iím happy. I ignored. Heís offered to do some things around the house and fix some things. Iím not ready to be buddy buddy but have been very cordial and friendly especially with the kids around. The boys still arenít happy about having to stay overnight with him and we are all trying to adjust.

As far as me, Iím happy. Iím sad for this life for my boys including the baby who will never know his parents together. I have a wonderful man in my life who has been by my side supporting me these last few months.

Are there things I would change and do differently? For sure. But Iím making the best with the cards Iíve been dealt. I rest my head at night knowing I did everything to keep my family together. I look back at disgust with myself for allowing what I did at the end of my pregnancy.

I hope everyone is well and although I didnít save my marriage Iíve still come out the other side. Is it perfect? Nope. But I have learned a lot about myself and have accomplished so much despite the shitty circumstances of these past 10 months. I hope this helps some of you.


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Moving forward [Re: T384] #2779741
02/23/18 05:36 PM
02/23/18 05:36 PM
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 473
A
artista Offline
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artista  Offline
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A
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 473
Wow! You do not know me, but I have followed your situation from the beginning... I am happy for you... And congratulations on your NP accomplishment... I remember how you studied and worked while pregnant, raising your boys while dealing with your H... Again, I am happy for you... A lot of people here are going to feel relieved to have heard from you... Here's to a beautiful life...

Re: Moving forward [Re: artista] #2779762
02/24/18 03:26 AM
02/24/18 03:26 AM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 147
H
Henwen Offline
Member
Henwen  Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 147
Loved to see your update and am glad you came out the other side smile although we all knew you would. You are a very strong woman. Cheers to you!


Me: 41 H: 45
T:21 yrs
S:16 D: 13 S: 12
BD: October 2016
Re: Moving forward [Re: Henwen] #2779778
02/24/18 07:42 AM
02/24/18 07:42 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
Hi T, I'm glad to see an update from you and I'm thrilled to read the news about your job - go you!!!

It is good that things are resolved with the divorce. Yours seemed to go through quite quickly and I look back and feel that is a blessing for me. I have friends mired in ongoing divorce matters, with courts involved - and that must be draining.

I realised the biggest thing for me has been who I am, what have I done with this difficult challenge, what did I learn, where is my life at now. Am I at peace and is there joy in my life?

It sounds like you have trodden a difficult path in a healthy way - we can't ask more of ourselves than that.

Release, forgive, move forward - and enjoy what life has to offer. Smell the roses when you can.

Xxx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Moving forward [Re: T384] #2779814
02/24/18 02:54 PM
02/24/18 02:54 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425
S
sandi2 Offline
Member
sandi2  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425
Hey there Sweetie-pie. So good to hear from you. I always knew you would be fine once you made the break from him. You are such a good mother, and a fair decent human being........he should be grateful for what he gets.

I know your life is major busy with work and the kids, but sure love it when you drop in to say hello.

Take many hugs with you, b/c you are special in my book! ((((hugs))))


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: Moving forward [Re: sandi2] #2779964
02/26/18 10:44 AM
02/26/18 10:44 AM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,126
B
BluWave Offline
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BluWave  Offline
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B
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,126
(((T)))

I am so glad you stopped by and updated. I am also glad you and the boys are well. You are such a fighter. I think of you whenever I stop by here and wonder how things are.

Can someone merge your threads for others to read? You are an inspiration! I think it would be great for newbies to read your path.

Blu


ďForgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.Ē Ė Nelson Mandela
Re: Moving forward [Re: BluWave] #2780017
02/27/18 03:19 AM
02/27/18 03:19 AM
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 826
Houston
H
Holding Offline
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Holding  Offline
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H
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 826
Houston
T, thanks for updating us. I was recently wondering about you, since you hadn't posted in a while. It's sounds like you're in a very good place.

Just curious, how does XH hope to get 50/50 now that the D is final?


Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.
Re: Moving forward [Re: woundedfool] #2787265
04/27/18 02:03 PM
04/27/18 02:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 603
Midwest USA
W
woundedfool Offline
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woundedfool  Offline
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W
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 603
Midwest USA
TO I've been peeking my head in every now and again hoping you would give and update. So very happy you did!


Me: 43
M: 10y
S:15
ILYBINILWY 2/18/13
W moved out 2/18/13
Filed for D: 2/17/13
Got DB: 2/20/13
Got DR: 2/23/13
180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13
D Final Dec '13
Re: Moving forward [Re: T384] #2787308
04/28/18 06:41 AM
04/28/18 06:41 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425
S
sandi2 Offline
Member
sandi2  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: Moving forward [Re: sandi2] #2787309
04/28/18 06:42 AM
04/28/18 06:42 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425
S
sandi2 Offline
Member
sandi2  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,425
Well, dang......that's the first time it's happened to me.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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