So I went out by myself last night...ended up meeting a girlfriend for dinner. Left H to take kids to their activities. When I got home H was half asleep in “our” bed, so I went to sleep on the couch. Figured I’d switch roles a bit and make him question why I didn’t come to bed.
I noticed that you concentrate alot of your changes on work and cleaning. But what about your sex life? Prior to the EA, how affectionate were you to him? A man equates physical affection to self-worth. And I don't mean just sex.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I never initiated sex...but I thought we we’re good. We were always affectionate. Anyhow, he made a few comments that I wasn’t interested in him. I would fall asleep putting kids to bed every night. He hated that! He’d wake me up in one of there beds and I wouldn’t get up. I’d come to bed around 2 when I actually woke up and snuggle with him. I get how lonely that felt....then after fearing A but before A confirmed I’d initiate, making myself available to H every night. He told his friend that it was too much ( I guess maybe it didn’t seem sincere). Once A confirmed I took advice and did not initiate anymore. Slowly we have reached this point, he’s on the couch and rarely wants sex from me. When he does it’s meaningless. All MLC info I read says not to initiate sex, so I stopped and pulled back.
So my H got me a present from the kids for Valentine’s Day. It was a box of coffee, some chocolate bars and a gift card to Starbucks. The card was only from the kids and they were excited to give it to me. He had them write it out while I was picking up dinner, sushi for the both of us -his suggestion. He also got kids cupcakes and got me one too. Sounds like a lot but pretty much a repeat of last year while still involved in a very active affair....so, I know it doesn’t mean much.
However, we did talk for 40 mins on his drive home. He called to ask something about kids and stayed on the phone. Weird.