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As Ginger said, many here have discussed OLD and how, other than Maybell perhaps, we have had zero success with it. At least you were getting responses! Not the type you were hoping for but at least you got a response. I tried several runs OLD. The earlier tries 7 or 8 years ago, I at least met some women in person and went out on dates. By my last attempt several years ago, I never even had a single meet! That was enough to pull the plug. And you've tried for weeks?mtry 6 months sometime.

Funny you mention the grocery store Ginger. I had an interesting encounter yesterday... Saw this well dressed, pretty lady right after I got there. Didn't really pay much attention after that until I nearly ran into her coming off an isle. We both smiled and apologized and moved on. At check out it was busy until a new line opened up so she went and I followed. She didn't have all that much and used the front half while I used the back. Only problem is the check out kid kept running my stuff to the very edge. I then apologized again saying I was not trying to push her out of the way, half blaming the chech out kid. She responded joking that first I run her over now I push her out of line. I said sorry, it's the best game I have to flirt with her but I'm working on it. She laughed. Check out kid looked visibly uncomfortable. He then punched in her phone number for coupons from memory without even asking her. Turns out check out kid was HER SON! No I did not ask her out smile.

It is more action than I got OLD however. I do have a theory on this that I'll try to explore on my thread later today.

Feel free to continue telling us about OLD or just dating in general Coconut. It's not a problem.


DonH
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Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
I have always wanted to do kayaking and paddle boarding and will most likely give that a shot this summer too.

Kayaking is by far my favorite past time, sometimes I go out and paddle my azz off to get some exercise, other times when I'm out in the lake by myself in the evening, I just lay back and enjoy the sunset and wildlife that's around. Once while doing that, I had a beaver sneak up on me and slap his tail right next to my kayak, I almost had a heart attack, but once I knew he was there, enjoyed watching him swim around me trying to scare me off.

Anyway, if you try it, I would recommend try it on a small lake or VERY slow moving river (not in the ocean), so you have a chance to work on your balance without having to counter balance for waves or other boat wake. Of course, some kayaks are so big now, balancing is not a requirement.

Originally Posted By: Ginger1
This may be super bad advice. But as an old-fashioned woman, if you see a woman out you are attracted to and by all appearances seems to be single, ask her out.
This is definitely going outside my comfort zone. I have been pushing myself to try and strike up conversation with people when out and about (male or female), and I've been pretty successful at that, but I wasn't interested in dating so never went so far as to try and ask anyone out on a date or for phone number. In the future, if I come across someone that interests me and they appear single, I will see if I can put myself out there and ask..

It's never fun getting shot down, but I've had good success with going outside my comfort zone in the past (many years ago), and of course if they act like I was creepy I could always apologize and tell them Ginger made me do it smile. Of course i'll let you know if I crash and burn.
Originally Posted By: DonH
As Ginger said, many here have discussed OLD and how, other than Maybell perhaps, we have had zero success with it. At least you were getting responses! Not the type you were hoping for but at least you got a response.
I agree DonH, it is nice to get some activity, but it’s kinda frustrating to meet the “wrong person” so many times so fast. Although I admittedly contacted some based solely on looks, I’m trying to get past my “type” and have reached out to some ladies that I don’t immediately find attractive based on their pictures, but I’m willing to see if I can find an attraction because of their personality. I think those are the ones that disappoint me most, because they write great profiles, but their conversations don’t convey the same type of personality.
Originally Posted By: DonH
I said sorry, it's the best game I have to flirt with her but I'm working on it. She laughed. Check out kid looked visibly uncomfortable. He then punched in her phone number for coupons from memory without even asking her. Turns out check out kid was HER SON! No I did not ask her out smile
That is a great story, and if you had asked her out, and you two hit it off, it would be a great story when someone asked how’d you meet… Of course the kid may have been traumatized to be present when his mom was getting asked out, lol.


M - 9 1/2 years
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Hey kid! I posted in your old thread over in the Newcomers forum....


I see you're now exploring new adventures already....excellent start! Baby steps....or baby paddling in your case. grin

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Hey Coconut, the world is your oyster!

I think I benefitted lots from going out on a few dates.

I really surprised myself by seeing how quickly I could work people out...what they were all about, where we got on and where we didn't get on. I wasn't expecting to, but I guess being almost 20 years older than list time I was single, and having run my own business for many years, I must have become quite sharp.

I absolutely didn't go out on dates with this intention, but one of the very unexpected benefits was to see myself through someone else's eyes. And what I saw I liked. I think I had been concentrating hard on doing interior work, by myself, and on my own, with the only exterior feedback (if you like) being through my luckily very sociable zero hours job, it really didn't occur to me to go out on dates...that I could or would even want to.

Anyway, one thing I discovered was that it takes time and energy going on dates. I think I probably had a lot of energy (I was still on the adrenaline rush of trying to get as far away as fast as I could from XH).

The ones I enjoyed the most was where I was quite zen about it all and just let the other person come to me, without any expectations.


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

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ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

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I think you guys will get a kick out of this..

Earlier in the week I added a postscript to my online profile because it's something that is attractive to me. I really didn't think I would hear anything about it from anyone, but it was worth a shot.

Then, I finally had someone contact me with more than a few words, and we have an actual intelligent and entertaining conversation going on. When she initially reached out to me, she said that my profile was nice, but I had her when she read my postscript.

ok, your probably wanting to know what the P.S. was, it says:

P.S. - If you are familiar with Emotional Bids or the 5 Love Languages that is a definite bonus.


M - 9 1/2 years
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So a little update and don't chop my head off, I understand what I'm doing/chancing, my eyes are open.

So the day after I started talking to Ms. Love Languages (I think the same day I wrote my last post), I was on facebook and I got a post from a local group that I belong to. It was a post asking for recommended restaurants in the area, so I was browsing through the comments, looking at all these great restaurants in my area that I didn't know existed, thinking that I really need to meet some people locally to go out with so I can visit some of them (not a big fan of sit down dinner alone).

I came upon a comment saying something to the effect of, "new in town, hard to make friends to visit these places with, anyone interested". I was like, oh damn, that was bold, and I commented back that I understand, I was pretty new to town and it is difficult to meet people to hang out with. She then PM'd me on FB and we started talking, lets just refer to her as Witty.

Conversation has been great, like really great, lots of shared experiences (both lived in South Florida, both do a lot of fishing, outdoor activities, etc.). In general we just have a lot in common and relate to each other very well. Little flirting here and there, nothing blatant, just occasional innuendos.

Anyway, I was so into talking to her, that I started to be short on my responses to Ms. LL, so I eventually sent her an email letting her know that I thought she was awesome, but there's someone else that I'm talking to and I wasn't giving enough time/thought into my conversation with her so I was going to stop writing. She thanked me for being upfront.

Now here's the kicker, witty has only been separated for 4 months, and her breakup was due to H having multiple A's. Witty told me about the 4mos S the first or second day, just learned the why yesterday. She also told me the first day that she was not looking for a R at all, just wanted to make friends to hang out. Obviously her situation being what it is, I do not want a R with her (at least not now, not for a long time), but I am attracted to her.

Now, having great conversation with someone that I am attracted to (haven't met, but seen pics on FB) tends to stir up some feelings... Feelings that have been dormant since, well, a long time. When you don't want to date, aren't open to new R, you don't nurture those feelings, so no big deal. But now, geez, i'll just say it, I need to get laid.

So my thought is that getting to go hang out with her will be a great way for me to get out and meet people around town, but my attraction for her is going to make that quite awkward. As I'm sure it will be for her, because I know she is also attracted to me, but has reiterated that she is NOT looking for anything other than friends. She even said it would bother her to see me meet someone, but she knows we are in two different places and doesn't want me to hold back. But of course saying it and how it would actually feel are two totally different things.

To bad I don't live in Nevada, lol.


M - 9 1/2 years
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As I see it, you have a few choices.

One, is be friends with witty with the expectation of being just friends. IN the meantime, continue to date.

Two- be friends with her hoping it will turn into something more, and then be disappointed when it doesn't, or be pleasantly surprised when it does.

Three- Choose not to hang out with her because you want two totally different things.

FWIW, I need to get laid too.

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C'Nut, I like Ginger's first suggestion. Have fun with witty, but see other people too. Maybe contact Ms. 5LL again.

If you have all your eggs in one basket, you might push yourself harder than you should to force it to be something.


Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
FWIW, I need to get laid too.


Coconut,

Opportunity knocks.

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Originally Posted By: doodler
Originally Posted By: Ginger1
FWIW, I need to get laid too.


Coconut,

Opportunity knocks.



Oh, but I will be in your area n March Doodler, watch out.

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