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A Message from Michele
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Re: Former WW--2 1/2 yrs. piecing... [Re: artista] #2786108
04/20/18 05:14 AM
04/20/18 05:14 AM
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doodler Offline
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Originally Posted By: artista
and if i were dating someone who could not accept my best friend that i had since 1971, that would have been a deal-breaker for me...


artista,

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you.

I think this may be more of semantics issue, particularly on this forum, rather than an issue with you having a male friend. If your husband is your "best friend," then the other guy could be called your "life-long friend" (or some other choice of words). The reason I say that is because the word "best" implies that there's only one; there's no room for two best friends.

Or maybe bestest friend (husband) and best friend (that other unmentionable guy)...

Re: Former WW--2 1/2 yrs. piecing... [Re: doodler] #2786138
04/20/18 07:38 AM
04/20/18 07:38 AM
Joined: Nov 2017
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artista Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: doodler
Originally Posted By: artista
and if i were dating someone who could not accept my best friend that i had since 1971, that would have been a deal-breaker for me...


artista,

I understand what you're saying and I agree with you.

I think this may be more of semantics issue, particularly on this forum, rather than an issue with you having a male friend. If your husband is your "best friend," then the other guy could be called your "life-long friend" (or some other choice of words). The reason I say that is because the word "best" implies that there's only one; there's no room for two best friends.

Or maybe bestest friend (husband) and best friend (that other unmentionable guy)...


yes, i agree... only room for one best friend... i think when it comes to the spouse position, there should be no one (other than God) who comes before or above... to me that is a given... i do like thinking of my friend as my lifelong friend... but i have a couple more of those, and i am not as close to them as i am to him...

in any case, in my lifetime, there are three people whom i consider kindred spirits... my H is one of them... at certain times in my life, i have been close with the other two kindred spirits (both female)... meaning, that at certain times in my life, they were in my everyday life... at this point in time, neither are in my everyday life, but they are still kindred spirits... we keep in touch from time-to-time... male BF is not one of my kindred spirits...

--artista

Re: Former WW--2 1/2 yrs. piecing... [Re: artista] #2786141
04/20/18 07:55 AM
04/20/18 07:55 AM
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Maika Offline
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Quote:
But I'd still like to know if you saw yourself wanting to approach your H as part of the reason for moving back to Cali, or if the move was to be closer to your kids. At what point in that 7 months did you realize you wanted to reconcile, and what was the interaction between you and H during that 7 month So?


Hey artista! I am just putting Coconut's question back here again from earlier in your thread. Do you mind sharing what happened and answering his questions, especially the bolded part (that's by me).


No one is coming to save you!

Re: Former WW--2 1/2 yrs. piecing... [Re: Maika] #2786947
04/25/18 01:24 PM
04/25/18 01:24 PM
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Bumping this up for Artista to see Maikas post again...would like to know the same


M:26 WAW:26
T:11 M:7
D:3
BD 1 10/16
I love you but not in love
BD 2 2/18
I love you but...
W moves out 3/18
Re: Former WW--2 1/2 yrs. piecing... [Re: Newly20] #2787230
04/27/18 07:22 AM
04/27/18 07:22 AM
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artista, I am with the others!

We are all so glad you have come to DB land and shared your story and your wisdom with the other posters. You and Sandi offer a unique POV that is so helpful in understanding a WW mindset and the best way to respond to it. Your wisdom now having come through it all and still saved your M is remarkable.

I would also personally like to hear more about your process, if you will. I did not share much about my sitch or my mindset last fall, and now know my H could potentially read my posts. I really like knowing your take on where you were in your mindset back then compared to now and how you see yourself differently.

I know I want my M to work and I do love my H. I still see that I have some at risk thinking patterns that are counterproductive to piecing. I still have thoughts of wondering what my life would have been like had we not reconciled. I also still have some resentment that surfaces from time to time. I am working on it. It is a strange place to be when you know something isn't right verses not wanting to face or ignore it nonetheless.

Thank you for your time!

Blu


“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
Re: Former WW--2 1/2 yrs. piecing... [Re: artista] #2801649
07/17/18 03:52 AM
07/17/18 03:52 AM
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Originally Posted by artista
Mozza (who i thought seemed really cool and wise beyond his years)


Ha! I don't know if you'll ever read this, but thank you Arista! I have not read your entire story, but looking for mentions of my username after a long time away, I found your thread and I wanted you to know that I had read it and it made me all warm inside. There are a lot of cool people around here and a lot of wisdom. I grew a lot thanks to the support I got here. Now I'll try to deflate my head before someone IRL notices... Hope you're well!


M39 D6 D3 (at S)
S 2014-09
D 2016-09

"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
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