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#2769065 11/23/17 02:20 PM
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sgctxok Offline OP
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Happy thanksgiving!

I know so many of you are way too lonely and maybe especially today. It's easy for loneliness to overcome you and your thoughts may spin so negative that you feel that no one cares ENOUGH about you.

A friend (not close, but more than an acquaintance) 'butt-dialed' me on Tuesday. I asked her how she was, and she told me she was dying - she was recently diagnosed with cancer. I ended up visiting her that night and she was in bad shape. Her dear husband of more than 35 years passed away 3 years ago. And she hasn't been the same since. (I hadn't seen her since then - we worked together. She retired and I work somewhere else in another direction.). I found her sad, angry, even bitter. She is estranged from her closest of friends and her brother. She has no other family available. She is angry that friends have 'lives of their own.' I will do whatever I can.

Her friends have been trying to reach her. She will talk to wome for a few minutes and hang up on them. So - there are DB lessons here. Her Act As If message is that no one cares enough. So she treats her friends that way and effectively pushes them away. Some have stopped calling and that affirms her belief. But she created the scenario.

Next, if you're lonely - reach out. People care. Go to some group and socialize. Go to the store. Coffee shop. Anything. It might even help to reach out to help someone else.

I hope you have a great evening.







sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
sgctxok #2769072 11/23/17 11:01 PM
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Cancer stinks.

Hope you are OK sgctxok.

Glad you are here over the holiday as I have had my own death in the family to deal with this weekend.

And people tend to go to a familiar place during that time.

I know this place is that for you, and of course it is for me too.

Don't do too much shopping therapy!


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Cadet #2769097 11/24/17 09:37 AM
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Great post, sgctxok.

It gives good perspective on how our attitudes affect others. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is the WORST. I am happy to hear that you were able to visit with her and will be there for her more. That's very compassionate smile


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Cadet #2769111 11/24/17 12:59 PM
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sgctxok Offline OP
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You know me too well, Cadet! I'm so sorry about the death in your family. Keeping you and yours in mind. I'll pay attention to posts that need to be released. You and job do such a good job I rarely check in but I can always back you up.


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
swoop #2769112 11/24/17 01:04 PM
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sgctxok Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: swoop
Great post, sgctxok.

It gives good perspective on how our attitudes affect others. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is the WORST. I am happy to hear that you were able to visit with her and will be there for her more. That's very compassionate smile


Thank you, Swoop! Like my friend and many on this board, I've had the rug pulled from under me and been completely ugly about it. I've received so much compassion - from Michele and many on the board and other incredible people in my life. Sometimes what you need to do just presents itself. I imagine you are very compassionate yourself. You resonate with what you are. I'm glad you are on the board.


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
sgctxok #2769118 11/24/17 09:34 PM
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Originally Posted By: sgctxok
You know me too well, Cadet!

Funny how that works. Yes


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Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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