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A Message from Michele
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Re: Attaining MEH [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2758254
08/27/17 11:15 AM
08/27/17 11:15 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
Member
T384  Offline OP
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Hi all,

Well I did it. I stuffed his truck full of 6 huge black heavy duty garbage bags of all his stuff every single thing - clothing, shoes, mail, magazines, drink cups, you name it it was in there. The only things left here is all his crap in the garage.

I packed it all in the truck and put the heaviest bag in the driver seat because the passenger side was up against a wall so just to make it difficult for him. I found a 'best dad ever' frame he or someone must have gotten him. I took the picture of the kids out and put the picture of him and OW making out. I placed he frame standing up on the dash of his truck. You can see it from a mile away. Pretty sure he's gonna sh!t himself. Locks are changed .... here we go

Oh and ginger - your H sounds like a real winner. Gag me!


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: T384] #2758259
08/27/17 12:53 PM
08/27/17 12:53 PM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,748
O
OwnIt Offline
Member
OwnIt  Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,748
Wow T, way to go. Get ready for the lies about how it was nothing (or didn't start until he "moved out") and you are so awful and this is why he had to do what he had to do.

Then let go of all that and live your life. Remember living well being the best revenge? Your life sounds amazing with all the activity and the people in it. Savor every drop.

Re: Attaining MEH [Re: OwnIt] #2758260
08/27/17 12:59 PM
08/27/17 12:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
Member
25yearsmlc  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
Ah well....they say the line between tragedy and comedy is a blurry one.

I'm just so glad you were able to help him pack...you're nice!

cool


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: OwnIt] #2758272
08/27/17 02:51 PM
08/27/17 02:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,197
G
Ginger1 Offline
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Ginger1  Offline
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G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,197
I know what you had to do sUcked, but I think you really needed to do it just as you did. Genius with the frame, btw.


Originally Posted By: OwnIt
Wow T, way to go. Get ready for the lies about how it was nothing (or didn't start until he "moved out") and you are so awful and this is why he had to do what he had to do.

Then let go of all that and live your life. Remember living well being the best revenge? Your life sounds amazing with all the activity and the people in it. Savor every drop.


Own it is right about the stories he is going to make up. How he is going to make an excuse or downplay it. My winner of an exH was caught by the card, and said she was just someone he was dating, (ya know, a few weeks after he left me, in his head, there is nothing wrong with that) A few months later I found out he was making out with a woman in the bathroom at his work Christmas party (when D was 3 months old and we were together" The first year on the job he told me the wives are invited by no one brings them but he was proud of his wife and wanted me to come. The next year all of a sudden it was "oh, I don't want you to come, I got made fun of for bringing you (not true). OW was there. Anyways, he told me "they just happened to be under mistletoe, the person saw it wrong". BTW, my dad and him worked for a few months as court officers in the same court house before my dad retired. He had vey reliable sources.

I actually did not find out the cheating began in my pregnancy until we were already divorced and he was engaged. Dumbass left his email open on my computer and there was pictures of them from when I was in my third trimester.

Moral of the story? They will only admit to the level of what you know. They will never give you more until they have to because they were caught.

But like ownit said, it doesn't matter, you got what you need, and now your path is forward continuing to be a kickass woman and mom.

You can wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror. Take pride in that.

Re: Attaining MEH [Re: Ginger1] #2758292
08/28/17 01:31 AM
08/28/17 01:31 AM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 561
Alabama
L
leahsue Offline
Member
leahsue  Offline
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L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 561
Alabama
Way to go, T!!!!!! SO VERY PROUD OF YOU. Sometimes we just have to arrive at our limit, and you finally reached yours! It may be tough going for the next few weeks as you get pushback from him, but I don't think there's a person on here who thinks you did the wrong thing. You are awesome, brave, and have stood up for you and your boys. Much better days are down the road for you.


M-60 H-51
M-14 years
BD 12/26/16
S 1/1/17

"First the pain, then the rising."
Glennon Doyle Melton

Re: Attaining MEH [Re: leahsue] #2758298
08/28/17 01:49 AM
08/28/17 01:49 AM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 147
H
Henwen Offline
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Henwen  Offline
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H
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 147
Sorry it ended. But it looks like you had the final say. Good for you. You reached you limit and let him know. He deserved what he got. I know things willl only be up for you as you go on with your life.


Me: 41 H: 45
T:21 yrs
S:16 D: 13 S: 12
BD: October 2016
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: T384] #2758301
08/28/17 02:00 AM
08/28/17 02:00 AM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 603
Midwest USA
W
woundedfool Offline
Member
woundedfool  Offline
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W
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 603
Midwest USA
T0, I get it. I really really get it. But this is not you. frown

Originally Posted By: T384
so just to make it difficult for him.


T0, as I said. I get it. I will not be a defender of your H, hes done some very indefensible things (things that just boggle the mind), and the guy deserves to get a D, and live in a s#!tty one bedroom studio walk-up living over a smoker and next to an aspiring heavy metal drummer.

But (and I say this will all sorts of love and respect):

DON'T/STOP doing things that make him be able to blame you for his s#!tty life!

By no means am I suggesting you be a doormat, but don't stick a finger in his eye just for the millisecond of self satisfaction. Those kinds of behaviors create long, drawn out expensive divorces that only succeed in making the attorneys rich.

There is not a single thing that has changed that should take you off DB'ing your H (and again, I am not suggesting you forgive and forget, beg him to stay, work toward reconciliation, etc.).

Your path should continue to be about making a better YOU!

Originally Posted By: T384
Got pictures of H at the concert and pictures of him and one of the OW kissing at the concert and she's wearing some sparkly diamond earrings.

Originally Posted By: T384
I found a 'best dad ever' frame he or someone must have gotten him. I took the picture of the kids out and put the picture of him and OW making out. I placed he frame standing up on the dash of his truck. You can see it from a mile away. Pretty sure he's gonna sh!t himself.


Feel better? I say that because of the ounce of satisfaction you have from this, could have been a potential 25lbs to surprise him with during a mediation/hearing or formal custody hearing.

Now he has all sorts of time to "get his story straight".

The last thing I will point out is Newtons Third Law:

"for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction"

Remember, for the most part, you will be seeing him for at least the next 18 years, and potentially having to sit next to him at 3 weddings, 3 college graduations and limitless birthdays and funerals.

DO you want to sit next to the guy who thinks "man I f**ked up, she deserved better" or the guy who brings hoochie earrings girl, tells her to dress slutty because it pi$$e$ TO off?


Me: 43
M: 10y
S:15
ILYBINILWY 2/18/13
W moved out 2/18/13
Filed for D: 2/17/13
Got DB: 2/20/13
Got DR: 2/23/13
180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13
D Final Dec '13
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: woundedfool] #2758313
08/28/17 02:34 AM
08/28/17 02:34 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
Member
T384  Offline OP
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Hi all, thanks for the words of encouragement.

Wounded- I guess I kind of get where you're coming from. But me sticking up for myself and my boys --- this is WHO I AM. This is who I lost sight of. Who wouldn't put up with the blatant disrespect that he's doing. I am single handedly raising our boys for a SECOND time while he fucks around and then thinks he's gonna come home and act like nothing happened. UH not Today.

I gave H AMPLE opportunity Tuesday night. I told him he can do what he wants but not under this roof. So me doing this is enforcing what I told him Tuesday night. This is MY boundary. He could have very well walked in the door to nothing changed had he acted in a respectable manner that was right by the boys and I.

I will not tolerate this level of disrespect to my children and I. He's even lying to his own family who he was going to seee up there about where he was and who he was with. I am up getting barely any sleep with our new son while he's out fuckng around!!

Again, he can do WHATEVER he wants, but not here!

PS this was all approved by my personal coach - Train 😂


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: T384] #2758323
08/28/17 03:04 AM
08/28/17 03:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline
Member
Train  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
... and Train's husband. grin

So proud of you.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Re: Attaining MEH [Re: Train] #2758336
08/28/17 04:32 AM
08/28/17 04:32 AM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 275
C
cadence Offline
Member
cadence  Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 275
Hey T. Just checkin' in on you.

Wow. The visual I have is such a "How Stella got her Groove Back" moment. At least you didn't set the truck on fire wink

(... like in the movie - I don't think you're a secret arsonist.)

I'm happy you feel good about what you did and it helped you remember who you are. Years down the road, this will be one of those stories you can tell and laugh. Heck, you can probably do that now.

Do you know what day he gets back? Will you have company at home with you in case he shows up hooting and hollering?

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