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A Message from Michele
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Re: Working on indifference [Re: T384] #2754241
07/31/17 08:59 AM
07/31/17 08:59 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
S
sandi2 Offline
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sandi2  Offline
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S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Quote:
I really don't want people involved because I don't want it getting any worse. I'm already frustrated about everything she said last night because I know he feels backed ina corner and like she said he's VERY concerned what others think about him. She said he is so self absorbed it's disgusting. So I really just don't want him knowing I care enough to discuss anything.


Let it go. You cannot control what other people do. I think she did a really good job! Do 't be upset with her for being a good friend to you and telling your jerk H what she thinks of him. So what, if he's backed into a corner? What difference does it make? T, you have to let this go!

Quote:
I can't remember if I also told you guys he told my friend I ran away with the kids to NC that I packed up and just left didn't tell him. It's a lie obviously I called him about it. He said I ran away from our problems and that me leaving to NC was the nail in the coffin for him. It sealed the deal that this can't be fixed.


Maybe it's time that you stop protecting him. Divorce usually splits more than families. It splits the couple's friends. It is very difficult to maintain the same couple friends and attend the same activities that you had during the M. It's just too uncomfortable for everyone. You can have your friends and he'll have his. He is showing his cad colors by lying about his wife and covering his own a$$. I think it's time his house of cards fall.

Quote:
It's just anything to blame me. If it wasn't me going to NC it would have been something else. That's why my biggest concern is to not fuel his narrative
.

How do you mean this ^^^^^^^^^? Are you concerned what your friends will think about you? He must feel pretty confident that you won't expose him for the liar and cheat that he is.

Infidelity, alone, can be a sign of weak/low character traits.......but to lie about his W who has just had his baby, and who is taking care of his family while he cheats.........is the lowest excuse of a man.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re: Working on indifference [Re: Thornton] #2754242
07/31/17 08:59 AM
07/31/17 08:59 AM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline
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Train  Offline
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T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
I'm doing cartwheels over here.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Re: Working on indifference [Re: Train] #2754244
07/31/17 09:00 AM
07/31/17 09:00 AM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline
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Train  Offline
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T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
PS Which part of the NC High Country are you in?? You're close to me!!


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Re: Working on indifference [Re: Train] #2754271
07/31/17 10:25 AM
07/31/17 10:25 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
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T384  Offline OP
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T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Train -- I am in the highlands/Franklin area. let's meet for a drink if you aren't far!


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Working on indifference [Re: T384] #2754294
07/31/17 02:01 PM
07/31/17 02:01 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline
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Train  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
BUMMER! I'm still a few hours away from you, near Charlotte.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Re: Working on indifference [Re: Train] #2754296
07/31/17 02:20 PM
07/31/17 02:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
Member
T384  Offline OP
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Oh geez that stinks... I was hoping you were close!


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Working on indifference [Re: T384] #2754297
07/31/17 02:21 PM
07/31/17 02:21 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
T
Train Offline
Member
Train  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
Me toooo!!!!!!


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Re: Working on indifference [Re: Train] #2754303
07/31/17 02:44 PM
07/31/17 02:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
Member
T384  Offline OP
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Ugh I was even telling my grandma how pumped I was to meet you! I thought for sure high country was highlands lol

Oh and on a not nearly as fun note

I ended up having this interaction with H. I hope I'm getting the hang of indifference

H: how are the boys today did they go gem mining
M: doing great
H: they get a lot of good stuff?
H: ?
M: (several hours later) lots
H: did they let the baby try lol
H: can you send me some pictures
H: it would be nice to see them

Then he calls three times. I had the boys call back when we got home.

H; can you send me pictures please
I sent him s picture of the 3 boys. Thought about sending one with me but figured that would be bitchy lol
H: awesome. So glad you're having fun smile

I never replied. How long is he going to fake this now after he got his hand slapped by my friend


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: Working on indifference [Re: T384] #2754305
07/31/17 02:48 PM
07/31/17 02:48 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
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25yearsmlc  Offline
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2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
how long? Well, the weekend is coming, so, maybe 4 days?

sorry. The good news is that I don't think you'll have to deal with it for long.

Oh, and you can let him know he's free to visit them and go somewhere OUT with them...

God...ugh


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Working on indifference [Re: T384] #2754306
07/31/17 02:50 PM
07/31/17 02:50 PM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 582
UK
T
Treasur Offline
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Treasur  Offline
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T
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 582
UK
Your H is an idiot..."it would be nice to see them"?? Well, you could stop having an A and be a father and husband...how about trying that, you f***ing idiot? Grrr

T - you are rocking indifference so beautifully that you should be wearing a Queen of Whatever crown!


Me: 53 H:38
T:20 M:14
BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression
S 1/16
PA 4/16
H filed 1/17

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