TBH the picture of them didn't hurt AS bad as I thought it would have... I was more angry that he would be that disrespectful again. He told my friend she's just a coworker and it means nothing. My friend told him if you have a wife and 3 children the last thing you should be doing right now. He of course gave all the right answers and she told him you aren't going to con me.
I really don't want people involved because I don't want it getting any worse. I'm already frustrated about everything she said last night because I know he feels backed ina corner and like she said he's VERY concerned what others think about him. She said he is so self absorbed it's disgusting. So I really just don't want him knowing I care enough to discuss anything.
I haven't responded to any messages from him that aren't about the kids.
I can't remember if I also told you guys he told my friend I ran away with the kids to NC that I packed up and just left didn't tell him. It's a lie obviously I called him about it. He said I ran away from our problems and that me leaving to NC was the nail in the coffin for him. It sealed the deal that this can't be fixed.
It's just anything to blame me. If it wasn't me going to NC it would have been something else. That's why my biggest concern is to not fuel his narrative.
We're supposed to come back Wednesday but I may extend the trip through the weekend. Not sure. I am in NO hurry to get back to his BS.
Remember the three boxes: Your Box, Their Box, God's Box. Who says what to who, what anyone else thinks, etc., NOT YOUR BOX. Your Box is deciding to stay in NC through the weekend.
It is nice to be validated but he clearly has no credibility among the people who care about you so take it for what it's worth, no more, no less.
Great job!!!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I'm confused by what you mean by not wanting to fuel his narrative.
Are you worried about what others think?
Do you believe the general public would believe that a woman with 3 kids including an infant would spontaneously, insanely kick her h out of the marital home for no reason?
OR leave for the mountains driving all alone with her kids, telling no one and for no reason?
NOT THAT IT ^^^ MATTERS, but no, that's not going to happen w/ 90% of "listeners." No normal person would believe that.
Anyhow...
By delaying your return , do you delay other things like filing?
Can you track the finances still?
I'm worried about delaying the D filing, from a financial perspective.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
TBH the picture of them didn't hurt AS bad as I thought it would have... I was more angry that he would be that disrespectful again. do you say "that disrespectful again" b/c he was with her, or is lying again, or that she posted it?
Btw, my prediction - he will say he did "not know she was posting it! AND besides, it was innocent!" and you are overreacting which MAKES him want to leave....
(stomps feet)
He told my friend she's just a coworker and it means nothing. My friend told him if you have a wife and 3 children the last thing you should be doing right now. He of course gave all the right answers and she told him you aren't going to con me.
I really don't want people involved because I don't want it getting any worse.
like how? He's public now. I'm asking.
I'm already frustrated about everything she said last night because I know he feels backed ina corner and like she said he's VERY concerned what others think about him. She said he is so self absorbed it's disgusting. So I really just don't want him knowing I care enough to discuss anything. this^^ confuses me. Your friend is also his friend, right? So she said what was on her mind and challenged him.
Would you be more upset if she did as your dad and uncle do, which is to pretend all is still fine.
I haven't responded to any messages from him that aren't about the kids. What's to say? You want him out? Okay fair enough, that's a topic...
I can't remember if I also told you guys he told my friend I ran away with the kids to NC that I packed up and just left didn't tell him. It's a lie obviously I called him about it. He said I ran away from our problems and that me leaving to NC was the nail in the coffin for him. It sealed the deal that this can't be fixed.
massive lunatic projection...also right out of the playbook. Eye rollllllll and moving on... It's just anything to blame me. If it wasn't me going to NC it would have been something else. That's why my biggest concern is to not fuel his narrative.
ahem..."anything to blame me....would have been something else...THAT'S why my biggest concern is to not fuel his narrative".
Oh T3, everything & anything you do FUELS HIS NARRATIVE -b/c it's HIS narrative.
Don't live in his narrative. Write your own, based on reality.
We're supposed to come back Wednesday but I may extend the trip through the weekend. Not sure. I am in NO hurry to get back to his BS. Just save the texts or emails where you inform him of any plans about the kids.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25 the disrespect thing I was referring to was compared to last time. Meaning here we go with OW pictures. It is what it is. I guess that's maybe why it doesn't hurt as bad?
Okay and on the topic of my friend challenging him etc. I don't mind that one bit but she told him things and called him out on things I said in confidence and specifically asked her not to say. She told him how she knows he hasn't called the kids since we've been gone. That he's being a terrible father that he doesn't acknowledge my existence in the house etc etc. I could careless what she says based on what she sees but I was just frustrated she had to pull the cards of what she knows straight from my mouth. She apologized because she said she slipped but still. What's done is done though.
Yes and make things worse I mean push him to pull finances.... I was trying to fly under the radar until he got served so now I feel like this just floored the gas pedal.
The rest I get. It's his narrative. the people that know me a fb know us know the truth and those that don't aren't of my concern because I wouldn't have been friends with them to begin with.
Is it too much to ask for to just be left alone so I can enjoy my trip ? I mean when we are in town he could give 2 you know what's. He doesn't do anything with the boys he doesn't acknowledge my existence he'll he never even texts asking anything so now that we're out of town and my friend called him out he's going to be involved and act like he cares?
Now I've received 3 texts already with him asking about the kids. Which aggravates me More because he's going to pull this crap now that someone told him he was a POS father.
I've thought about sending him a message saying you can contact the boys at any time on their iMessage or asking if he wants to split to cost of a phone for s10 so that he can reach the boys that way. This way maybe he will leave me be. So far all I do is just say good or great etc.
By delaying your return , do you delay other things like filing?
This is a reasonable question/concern that you should probably ask your attorney.
IANAL, but in my ex's divorce filing... the first line was something like:
"I Mrs. woundedfool of 123 main st have resided in the state of (insert midwest state here) for the past 10 days"
I am not suggesting anything other then asking your attorney.
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
Just power through till you file. Hold the course for now. File as soon as possible and work with your lawyer on specifics, since she knows your situation and the legal ramifications of it better than we do.
Set your phone to "do not disturb" for a few periods through the day to get yourself some peace. You're off having fun, you don't have to be at his beck & call just because somebody told him how it is.
Frankly, i wish someone had told my ex what a POS he was being. But no, they all had to come running to me with their stories and the screenshots of his Tinder profile and all that fun stuff. Be happy you have an advocate who loves you and speaks straight and don't worry about the consequences *of that.* Just get your paperwork filed and move on. You're going to be awesome.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I don't mind that one bit but she told him things and called him out on things I said in confidence and specifically asked her not to say.
That's a tough one. but a part of me wonders: The things that you might think you only know and have been said in confidence.... very well could be public information.
Because your H has run this playbook before, especially the FB pic.
I'm sure the most common response of family and friends was: "too soon"
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
L said me being gone won't make a difference she is on vacation tomorrow through August 10th so her assistant sent me all my financial and the petition paperwork I have to complete. I'm going in August 11 to have aleverything notarized and he will be served on August 16 or 17 (my choice) house payment is due August 15 and if I serve him right before he won't pay it. So I'll wait until the day after to buy me some time money wise and this way by the time he stops paying we should have a hearing set and I won't have to go long without assistance.
He's texting me asking what I took the kids to do and if they went gen mining again. I think I'm going to take maybells advice and not respond.
