In some ways, I wish that WW had just pushed for D a while ago. When I first came to this site, I saw people who had been in for 2 years and still in a limbo state. I thought how is that possible? There is no way I will be there.... and here I am.
Hi Pinn, I was reading through your thread last night and this comment stopped me in my tracks. You are much further along than me. However, I am having this same feeling. I've only known about the A since January and had assumed we would be resolving this by June with D or R. I thought at the time there is no way this can go on for 6 months and now here I am too. I can easily see this dragging on for 2 years. With each day that goes by I can feel my W moving further and further from me in the M. Sometimes I think her avoidance of me is really just out of her own shame. I don't know if its true but it makes me feel better to think that.
Me46 W46 M25yrs T29yrs 4 children ILYBNILWY 1/30/17 PA confronted 3/6/17 Separated same house
I'm about to hit six months of limbo. We are literally still living like married couple minus the intimacy. Though we are having sex on occasion. Just hope that things don't stay this way, because this is how we ended up in our current situation.
Thanks for the comments guys.. nice to see some people who know the feeling.
Man Hawaii was awesome... what a trip. If you have the chance to go, I highly recommend it. Got a bonus two days too! We had the house till Thursday but my flight was on Tuesday but they over booked it! I said if you can make my flight on Thursday afternoon I'll change... they did and gave me a $1000 voucher woo woo. I was just minus my luggage but who cares... I was in Hawaii!!
On another note, my anniversary is Thursday... second one without WW. I don't care though. Last year at this time is when WW started coming out of her fog. I remember she wanted to get dinner and the good people her encouraged me to politely decline.. thanks guys! I am not going to acknowledge the anniversary... doesn't mean much to me anymore.
On WW front, she picked me up from the air port and I saw her all three days this weekend. In Hawaii, I kept the texting to a minimum and only called her once. She was a bit annoyed but I mean it was hard to contact anyone back home because we were busy and the time difference. Anyway, on Sunday she came over in the afternoon and we chilled by the pool. It was OK. As she was leaving she burst out in tears... that was a tough one because I was not sure where it came from.
So I am just in a tough spot. I don't know how to deal with the anger I feel and get over the trust issue. I told her I have zero trust. Coly pointed it out in my posts... my tone is bad. I am not trying to punish her... but when I think about the things that happened (mainly the cheating years ago before we were even married) I just do not even want to see or talk to her. It really is walk away husband syndrome. But whatever, we will figure it out.
The good things are when we hang out... she says things like who are you?? Which is nice because I worked hard to dig deep and address certain issues with myself so I am glad she notices.
Guess what ya'll..... tomorrow is BD anniversary x2. Yeap... 2 years... absolutely crazy!! I have done some thinking the past few days. I am perfectly fine where things are... in limbo. But that is a problem! It means I am not committing either way. I am definitely not all in, not even close, but not all out either. I think I am actually the one dictating this limbo at the moment. Maybe just go to MC and see how it goes? WW brought it up again the other day.
I was glad to read TxHubby's latest post. After his posts where he mentioned that it was over, it had me thinking long and hard about going that route myself. Just a tough situation.
Has anyone read the surviving infidelity book? wondering if that would be good for me.
I would not say it is going no where. Things have come a very long way from where we once were. If anyone is slowing things down, it is me. I actually think the time frame is about right. I have seen people jump back in quickly and it ends badly over and over and over again on this site. If I am going to go back, it has to be done right and that takes time.
Of course I get fed up occasionally. But not at her dragging her feet or anything. More fed up with the situation and now, mainly with my own thoughts.
I think the place to go from here is some MC sessions, figuring out what I want, figuring out what she wants and progressing either way from there. I am going to be good with either possible outcome.
Ahhh.... the world of Pinn is just fine. Really nothing to report, same ole same ole I guess. I usually see WW on the weekend for a bit but then nothing during the week because of work schedules and where we live. Makes it hard for anything to move in any direction. But w/e, I am not really worrying about it right now.
I did go to a wedding two weeks ago with WW for her cousin. I was so uncomfortable when they were completing their vows. Like the steam must have been coming out of my head! I think that might have been the first wedding I went to since BD. It was just super weird to be sitting next to her during the ceremony. The rest of it was fine, danced it up.
Last weekend, went to a wedding for my cousin without WW. It was at a ski resort, really nice. For not knowing almost anyone, that was a fun wedding. Cut up that dance floor nice! Also was able to go on some hikes during the weekend since it was up in the mountains with my bro.
I do find myself getting into a rut more lately than I was before. I think everything is just beating me down a bit... WW, my mom, life. I need to stop the pitty party though and pick it the f up.