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A Message from Michele
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Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: kml] #2741379
04/30/17 05:07 PM
04/30/17 05:07 PM
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kml Online OP
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Yesterday Mr TDH went to a rehab a couple of hours away. I managed to talk his side chick into driving him there. I feel much safer with him out of town.

The cherry on top? This morning it occurred to me I could check his phone records ( he's on my family plan). Of course, tons of calls to the side chick. But a couple of other suspect numbers so I called them. One was a woman who had just started dating him a few times before his implosion. He had told her he'd been single for two years. And he had called her from one of his psych hospitaluzations this month to tell her he'd been in an "accident". Yeah, if you call trying to escape and being tackled by the ER staff and your ribs getting broken cuz you're high on drugs an accident, well , ok then .

I still haven't told him what I know. I'm going to wait until he's been stable for a while in rehab. But I'm SO completely over it!!!!

Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: kml] #2741485
05/01/17 12:31 PM
05/01/17 12:31 PM
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Georgiabelle Offline
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KML,

I am sorry to hear this. However, I know you will get thru this and be even better than before. The betrayal rocks us though.



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: Georgiabelle] #2741509
05/01/17 02:05 PM
05/01/17 02:05 PM
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I'll be fine. I'm not feeling any heartbreak - finding out the sociopathy involved cured me of ANY longing. And given that it was preceded by the month of crazy behavior - relief is more the word.

Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: kml] #2741849
05/03/17 06:16 PM
05/03/17 06:16 PM
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Hahaha - confirmed with the side-chick that he called us both by the same unique nickname. Guess that made it easier not to slip up. I'm still amazed that he could manage not to send the wrong text to the wrong woman all these years!

Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: kml] #2741938
05/04/17 11:39 AM
05/04/17 11:39 AM
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Oh, Ellie. Here I was, hoping that you had the fairy tale. I'm sorry it had the ending it did - there are so many better ways to do it, but I guess you have to pay heed to the finality of things? Sometimes, there's a good reason for the napalm ending?

Quote:
In fact, I could see myself turning into one of those Love Avoidant types myself if I'm not careful. Maybe this is how it starts!


Speaking from experience [cough], yes. That's how my path to love avoidance began. I'm trying to keep an open mind - for the future. I don't want to say NEVER, but... right now I say with conviction that I enjoy my life flying solo.

Good luck, and hope you create some good stuff out of this mess.

Hugs-Betsey


"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein
Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: kml] #2741944
05/04/17 12:25 PM
05/04/17 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted By: kml
I'll be fine. I'm not feeling any heartbreak - finding out the sociopathy involved cured me of ANY longing. And given that it was preceded by the month of crazy behavior - relief is more the word.



I get this^^....the long term deceit is so weird and requires such cognitive dissonance.

I almost wanted to analyze your TDH and his escape mechanisms, blah blah blah

Who cares? You didn't have kids together and there was no commitment or m, and so

ta ta a$$hole.

And though it always hurts to be betrayed, in this case I say thank GOD there's a side chick - to do some heavy lifting in case TDH goes totally bonkers again.


SO - not your problem.


You are on your path and just stay on it. You're taking what you want from the R and the good memories, and leaving the rest...


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2741955
05/04/17 03:04 PM
05/04/17 03:04 PM
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Quote:
And though it always hurts to be betrayed, in this case I say thank GOD there's a side chick - to do some heavy lifting in case TDH goes totally bonkers again.


Ah, I think she's done too. Once she figured out he had been totally lying to her about our relationship - she apparently is co-dependent enough that she would break up with him, then he would feed her some BS like we had broken up, or I was seeing someone else, or we were just friends - but now that she knows we were together all the time, she's pretty much done with him too. I wish she wasn't - it would make it easier to just shift his attention on to her and off of me - but she doesn't deserve the treatment he gave her either.

I did get the best of it - I was naively unaware so I had 4 years of a nice relationship. She had three years of Sturm und Drang and pain and suffering because of what she knew and how he treated her.

Just trying to figure out the best (safest) way and time to tell him I'm NOT going to continue in a relationship with him.

Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: kml] #2741959
05/04/17 03:18 PM
05/04/17 03:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
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25yearsmlc Offline
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is he clean now, or in some deluded wacko state, or do you know?


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2741967
05/04/17 05:04 PM
05/04/17 05:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,087
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kml Online OP
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He's in a rehab/sober living house 2 hours away since Saturday. Probably just getting the last of the drugs out of his system since it was an impressive month-long off-and-on binge and since he was smoking something in the car on the way up there with the side chick driving (he almost jumped ship in downtown L.A.).

He's calling and texting me all this sweet B.S. because he's trying to keep me in the relationship, but he doesn't know that I know ALL about him and the side chick and others. I'm waiting for him to get a little more stabilized before I tell him he can't come back to me. I don't think I'm going to bring up the other women though; challenging his "livelihood" might provoke too much of a sociopathic backlash, so instead I'm just trying to come up with a plausible "It's not you, it's me, the feeling is gone and I just can't get it back, I just don't want a man in my life right now" kind of BS excuse that sounds FIRM enough.

He's full of "oh, I'm doing the work, I'm gonna earn my way back to you " but I KNOW he is not admitting at ALL to his grifting and other issues with women. I'm just looking for the safest exit strategy that won't provoke him.

Re: Post - divorce Dating Implosion [Re: kml] #2741969
05/04/17 05:08 PM
05/04/17 05:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
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Oh - and get this - when the side chick went to junk his car (which was in HER name and has a cracked engine block) - she was cleaning out the car and found the glove box was full of condoms lolol. Who keeps condoms in their glove box????

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