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A Message from Michele
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You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 #2739593
04/19/17 01:08 PM
04/19/17 01:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
T
Thornton Offline OP
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Thornton  Offline OP
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T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
Previous thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2738104&page=1

Mach, thanks for the post on my previous thread.

Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Thornton] #2739600
04/19/17 01:24 PM
04/19/17 01:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,260
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Mach1 Offline
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Mach1  Offline
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Posts: 4,260
No probs buddy....

Hell, you brought me out of "retirement"....

Let me know how that other thing works...

Or perhaps I should say, when it works...

Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Mach1] #2739605
04/19/17 01:37 PM
04/19/17 01:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
T
Thornton Offline OP
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Thornton  Offline OP
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T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
I tried the large social network - thorntondb - but I dont see anyone on there??

Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Thornton] #2739708
04/20/17 05:53 AM
04/20/17 05:53 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline
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Uphill  Offline
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I added you on there thorn! 😎😉


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Uphill] #2739709
04/20/17 05:54 AM
04/20/17 05:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
U
Uphill Offline
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Uphill  Offline
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U
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
Apparently the emojis still show up as a bunch of random symbols on here haha.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Uphill] #2739716
04/20/17 06:45 AM
04/20/17 06:45 AM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
T
Thornton Offline OP
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Thornton  Offline OP
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T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
Thanks, Up!

I feel like I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that my R is over. Man, that stings just to type out.

Last night I went to the gym and worked out. I caught one really attractive girl checking me out and that felt good for my bruised ego.

Honestly, I'm trying to view WAW from another person's perspective. I know my view of her is distorted from my rose colored glasses. I don't know why I put her up on that pedestal.

I think I've created this fantasy life in my mind about what W and I's life would look like in the future. All the thoughts, dreams, and plans we had. Growing old together. Having grand kids to love on. All of it was a fantasy I had created.

More realistically, those things ^^^ happening in the future with W are probably pretty slim. Everyone is telling me it wasn't a matter of if she would up and leave, but when.

So... Ive started looking at one bedroom apartments online. I have the money to put down on a new house but I dont think I'm in any frame of mind to be making such a big decision. I think I'll let myself mourn my loss and then decide what to do from there.

W continues to act disengaged and keeps her distance from me. I still try to wrap my brain around why this is happening again. 6 years is a lot to throw away over a few arguments. Especially when her daughter and I are so close.

So.... for GAL this week. I plan on going and buying some new clothes, new shoes, and probably some new workout gear. And as much as I don't want to, I will go see a movie by myself. Ive checked with my local friends and they all have plans with their families.

I also looked into Meetup but all the groups seem so weird to me. I dont really have any interest in playing Dungeon's and Dragon's (no offense if you like to play), or quilting, or some Star Wars battle scene re-enactment at a local park. I also dont really want to get into the party scene.

I suppose in time, I will be more open to trying some different things.

Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Thornton] #2739718
04/20/17 06:57 AM
04/20/17 06:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,197
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Ginger1 Offline
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So you like to work out?

Join a group fitness class. I joined a gym by me where we were the same group of people every day at the same time. I made some close friends and met my current BF. It was great for socialization and getting in shape.

Do you like to hike? Join a hiking club? Run, join a running club.

Do you like live music? Catch a local band. It may be the bar scene, but it doesn't have to be about the bar.

How about volunteering? I tried to get into habitat for humanity but with full time work, a young kid who I have most of the time and school, I couldn't quite fit into their needs. But how great to build a home for someone who needs it with a group of new people?

You must have some interests. You would be surprised where you can find opportunities for socialization. And if I was truly single with out a child I would be indulging in all the above. I love to cook and would be all over cooking classes.

I went to my first movie by myself a few years ago. it was liberating.

You kind of have the world at your hands right now. I think we all planned a fantasy of how our life should or would have been. A great way of grieving the loss of it is to build a whole new present and future.

Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Thornton] #2739722
04/20/17 07:11 AM
04/20/17 07:11 AM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 505
You'll never guess
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EastTN Offline
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EastTN  Offline
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Posts: 505
You'll never guess
As far as Meetup goes, I can't imagine that Colorado is very different from East Tennessee as far as outdoor activities (well, your mountains are slightly taller :)) except maybe your outdoor season is shorter. There are A LOT of hiking, etc Meetups in Knoxville. If you're further from a population center it gets harder (everything I'm doing has me driving 30-45 minutes each way because I'm so far out). If you put your interests in there, it will suggest groups for you.

I know you actually seem to ENJOY working out (crazy person! :)) and I've found pickup basketball, soccer, softball, etc, there as well. YMMV, but don't give up. I know you have the same problem I do with having built your life around W, and short of asking your friends to set you up on dates (which I know you don't want) this could be one of your bets bets. It took me two weeks to find something I felt comfortable going to with a group that looked like it was ok.

Giving up the fantasy [censored]. Realizing that your W not only isn't the woman you thought anymore, but maybe never was [censored]. Knocking them off the pedestal and saying "Do I REALLY want to try to fix this?" and coming up with "I don't know, at best" hurts pretty bad. But you're strong enough to do that, and you'll be stronger on the other side of it.

Hang in there, T.


Just keep swimming
Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: EastTN] #2739724
04/20/17 07:22 AM
04/20/17 07:22 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,197
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Ginger1 Offline
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My exH plays on a co-ed volleyball team. He actually had me sub once last summer because they didn't have enough women. It was FUN. I'm probably going to join myself this year (not on his team though). They play outdoor at a bar/restaurant that has sand volleyball courts. Usually everyone grabs a beer afterwards. It's fun.

The world is your oyster if you let it be.

Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2739726
04/20/17 07:49 AM
04/20/17 07:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
T
Thornton Offline OP
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Thornton  Offline OP
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,569
Colorado
East and Ginger - thanks for your posts.

I will certainly keep looking. I know I will need to force myself. I am an introvert and it takes me a while to warm up to people. So walking into a room of strangers and introducing myself is currently outside my comfort zone. I know I will need to challenge this mindset in order for me to grow.

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