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strdays #2740775 04/26/17 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted By: strdays
NDY actually thanks for dropping in.
I know I can contest but here the idea is to do everything as cheap as possible using online services as our economic situation is really serious. No savings no assets. Nothing but 2 kids to look after. She's so fogged that she can't even see that my studio flat is totally unsuitable for the kids.
That is all I can afford for now.

Trying to rebuild but it will take time.


Hi mate. I'm also in the UK so I'm in similar territory. The bold bit above? That's only for a non contested divorce which your WW can't ask for until the 2 years of separation are up or after 1 year if you agree to the D. If she wants a D before that then it is a contested divorce which is expensive not just for you but for her as well. Not sure if either your WW or you would be eligible for legal aid or not. Perhaps worth checking that out.

On a side note it doesn't matter if her PA started before or after your 'separation'. You are still married and she is still having an A. You could divorce her tomorrow on those grounds and the court would immediately grant you a D. I know that's not your objective here but worth bearing in mind.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2740891 04/26/17 03:57 PM
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That's only for a non contested divorce which your WW can't ask for until the 2 years of separation are up or after 1 year if you agree to the D.


are you sure? As I understand there is no need to wait 1 year if it is uncontested using unreasonable behaviour.

Do You mean I should contest unreasonable behaviour or what?
Why would i contest if she wants out and she choose OM?

At the most I would use adultery instead but then things would get nasty.


M43 WW 41 OM 24
M 17 T 19
D 9
S 3
BD 04 -11-16 I left home same day
PA confirmed -16-17 on going since September 2016
D FINAL 19-04-08
strdays #2740926 04/27/17 01:35 AM
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Morning Mate

First I'm not a lawyer so take everything I say with a pinch of salt and get proper legal advice. Most Lawyers will give you a 30 minute consultancy free before you instruct one. It's a good idea to do this even though you don't want to D. Ok so here's my understanding of how this works.

If you want to D after 1 year of separation then you either

a) Both agree to irretrievable break down of the marriage (which of course you don't agree as she's not even giving it a chance)

b) Adultery.

c) Unreasonable behavior which one spouse has to cite against the other. Not so easy to do and there are plenty of examples on the web if you do a quick google. I think you'll be in the clear with that one.

After 2 years of separation things change and she can ask for a divorce based on irretrievable break down of the marriage without your consent.

The only reason for D that I know of that's quicker than a year is adultery. And you would need to D her.

It's sad but necessary that you need to think about these things. In all honesty mate when you hear the ILYBNILWY speech in my experience it means the A has been going on a lot longer than she'll ever admit to. The fact that the OM is younger just fits the script I'm afraid. Have you read Sandi2's rules yet? The one that always sticks in my mind is believe nothing of what they say and only half of what they do. Useful advice.

Peace


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2740928 04/27/17 02:17 AM
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Do you have a link to sandy2 rules.
I know the one about believe none of what they say.....

I must admit I am quite confident due to some happening that affair became physical on 27 July 2016.


M43 WW 41 OM 24
M 17 T 19
D 9
S 3
BD 04 -11-16 I left home same day
PA confirmed -16-17 on going since September 2016
D FINAL 19-04-08
strdays #2740930 04/27/17 03:05 AM
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Originally Posted By: strdays
Do you have a link to sandy2 rules.
I know the one about believe none of what they say.....

I must admit I am quite confident due to some happening that affair became physical on 27 July 2016.


Go to newcomers thread. Sandi's 37 rules is the 4th sticky down from the top. TBH you should read everything she posts. She's a very wise woman.

One thing I've also learned the hard way is to trust your gut. So if you think the A became physical in July 2016 then you are probably right. I had a similar gut instinct in the summer of 2014 but talked myself out of it. Boy how I wish now I'd trusted what my instincts were telling me. But alas I didn't and now I'm D'd.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
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