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lt0402 #2831245 01/05/19 06:36 AM
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That was an awesome post. I feel like I'll be singing the same tune in about a year. smile

lt0402 #2831269 01/05/19 01:32 PM
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Thank you for the update It, it is a really good reading. Glad things are going that good! Excellent!


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
lt0402 #2831476 01/07/19 01:39 AM
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LT - it's so great to hear from you! My God life just goes way way way too fast. I can't believe it's over a year since we've heard from you and so much has happened!

It sounds like things ended as good as could be expected with your M. I'm still worried for your D. Your ex W has such unhealthy habits and attachment to her. I'm not sure what you will be able to do about it but keeping a close eye and doing whatever you can is much needed. She's co sleeping with an 11 year old? Your daughter will be entering puberty quickly. I'm so afraid that your W is using D to cope through all of this and through her life. This can really become serious and detrimental. I'm sure you are well away. I remember all of the crazy things your now exW was doing with D, her medication, etc. This is how things like Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSBP) ramp up and get going. The older your D gets and as she appropriately breaks away to get her own life, could be seriously hampered by your ex W. Hopefully you will have the ability to not allow that to happen - if it even does.

So dating someone new... for a year already? I'm sure you know that's not recommended. It sounds like you almost went right from your now ExW to this woman. Did you even date anyone else? I'm concerned mostly for you here but I also am fascinated how some people, like myself, Ginger, others, have gone many years without finding the "right fit" in a mate yet others seem to right out of the gate with the very first person they date. Sure, luck may have something to do with it but I far more believe it's about the individuals involved. If it's been a year already the honeymoon period is over and you should be seeing the real person. By how you speak she sounds great.

I'm very glad you finally came back to update us here. Things are mostly very quiet other than a flare up in someone's life here or there. Hope you will stick around, catch up on some of the other threads and continue to give us periodic updates. It's great to hear when people are doing well. The better they do, often, the less time they have to be hanging out here. Awesome for you!


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
lt0402 #2831542 01/07/19 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by lt0402
Let your spouse take their own path. Choose your path and follow that one. Do things that make you feel good to be yourself. Hang out with friends, make new friends, try new activities, pursue your passions, and get back a sense of self identity. Perhaps your path comes back to a crossroads w/ your spouse and perhaps it does not. Don't wait for it. Push forward with life and be ok with being on your own. Be in a position that if your paths do cross again, you can figure out if a) it's healthy to get back in the relationship and b) if you even have a desire to be in the relationship anymore.


Great post, especially the above point. Glad to hear you are doing well!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
lt0402 #2831575 01/07/19 03:11 PM
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Thanks for sharing that LT. It really helps reading of people having gone through this process & come out the other side well Rounded & Happier than prior.


H:50 (me) W:44
M:12 T:22
BD: 08/2018
W Moved out 08/2018
lt0402 #2831643 01/07/19 08:20 PM
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LT! My amigo. We came here at the same time and are now in seemingly very similar, very good places. I am SO glad to read your update. You are a good man, a great father and, I'm sure, a great partner for K. Best wishes!


Me: 46
W: 44
Married: 17
Together 21
D13; S10
BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you)
Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage
Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
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