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mvgfwd2 #2734730 03/17/17 02:51 PM
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lt0402 Offline OP
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MV I agree. I've bounced it all of the L weeks ago. Both the sale of the house, the potential purchase of another, and now the renting idea. L had no qualms on the rental piece and actually thought it prudent with the situation where it is. I've been finding my mind wandering in the same direction as you have. Based on Ws reactions it seems like she's expecting something to trigger when the house is sold. I'm unsure. I also can't shake that feeling though.

D just got the flu today. Stayed home all day. A couple showings so W and D had to leave the house. Left work early and bailed on my dinner tonight to see D. Got her a little surprise and she was happy to see me at home. Still unsure why she was upset last night though. Poor kid


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
lt0402 #2734823 03/18/17 09:29 AM
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Mystery solved. spent this morning with D hanging out on the couch bc she has the flu. W out getting stuff for the house. Talked to D about thurs night and she told me that I'd told her I'd hang out with her after dinner. When she got done taking a shower after dinner I was out at the storage unit dropping stuff off.

So I apologized, told her I understood why she was mad, and told her that she's always welcome to tell me stuff like that whenever she is ready. I asked if we were good, she said yes, and we had a fun time all morning.

Now, I did hang out for a bit after dinner, but when she went to take a shower I left to get that done before bed. Told both her and W I was leaving. So I'm wondering if W fueled that, but who knows. Regardless, I feel very comfortable handling these things direct with D. W seems to think I'm helpless here and need her help with them. Totally not true.

One side effect of this whole thing is I can recognize different feelings and how to respond to them a lot better now. Looking back it seems like the extreme emotions just got buried and pushed through. It did about break my heart he other night when D ignored me, though I didn't show it. I care so much for the kid and the thought of less time with her [censored].

Realistically though, there doesn't seem to be hope for my situation. I do realize that. W needs to let her guard down and be open to it, but it's just not something I see happening. So now we are really stuck. I almost wonder if my Ws plan is to force me to end this situation. Who knows. I'll continue to do what I believe to be right and see where t takes us.

Right now is the perfect storm for W though. House on the market. I just got my annual bonus. Our bank account will be at its fullest if we do sell the house. If she is looking for the right financial time to exit this is it. One thing I have done, in September, as well as this week, was finish up Ds college fund. Out of reach of both W and I now. So I know D is setup should she choose to go to college. Makes me more comfortable to know that she won't need to scramble for funds when we get there.

Have someone doing a showing of the house right now. D and W waiting while I make a trip to take trash to the dump. Spending the rest of the day with D. Looking forward to the downtime with her.


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
lt0402 #2735293 03/21/17 09:51 AM
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D and I are doing much better after the "crisis" last week. Poor kid had the flu so we spent the weekend being lazy. Open House for our place on Sunday so we had to vacate. Didn't want to take D to relatives house so we camped out in the car for two hours.

W wanted to me to go somewhere else, instead of the car w/ D and her, but I told her no, I'd like to be with D and I'd be happy to stay with D if W wanted to do something. Really was wanting to spend time w/ D after having a long week at work.

D also followed it up (she didn't hear Ws and my conversation) saying that she really wanted me to hang out during the open house. So D and I joked and played iPad together in the back of the car. Close enough to a place with Wifi so we "borrowed" that and had a good time together. W went to go get coffee and offered to bring me some, then about 10 minutes in she complained how the smell of my coffee made her want to barf. Insanity. She's "nice" when she needs something, but rude brutal to be around the rest of the time.

W has been nothing but angry the past few days. I think it's from the stress of selling our place + D being sick. As far as I know, she has yet to find a rental for us. Starting to think I'll need to come up w/ a backup plan just in case.

Asked W last night what time a showing was today for our house. She responded back with a snide comment, to which I said "Excuse Me?" and then I got an answer, followed by a mumbled, "I've said it like 3 times". The mood wears on me, but still grinding through it and trying not to let it affect me. Some success, but tough to bite my tongue at times and I push back.

W is back to drinking every evening and has been for about a month. She's also sleeping on the couch until 5am each morning, and then coming up to bed. Been doing that for about the same amount of time. Even the nights D has slept in our bed, she keeps that routine. Not sure what to make of all that.

Still going but a lot of uncertainty currently. Seems to be par for the course.


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
lt0402 #2735300 03/21/17 10:31 AM
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Hey L T,

I thought I had a lot of patience.... I can see why that attitude is wearing on you. Glad that you got things patched up with your D! Maybe you need to take a few days and play some golf so that you are doing something for you!! :-). I'll meet u and we can play for a round of beers. Hahah

Just wanted to offer my support and encouragement. Idk what my cowboys are doing, we have no defense left. Could be interesting. Haha


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

lt0402 #2735301 03/21/17 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted By: lt0402
Still going but a lot of uncertainty currently. Seems to be par for the course.


Keep it up. Its tough. The patience is worth it for the kids.


M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6
11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA
Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing
1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break
2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing
2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
KevinIn #2735303 03/21/17 11:10 AM
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^What he said. Be the rock for your kid. It will sorely be needed.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Dawgs #2735332 03/21/17 02:57 PM
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Hawk, that's done! You'd have to give me some strokes though, I'm pretty rusty after all this time off! Appreciate your support as always. Your Cowboys look set on offense if they can keep their OL healthy. Dak was a good surprise for ya'll this year. Elliott is a beast, but seems like he may have some off-field issues. Maybe ya'll should trade him to my Skins!

Kevin, appreciated bud. Yeah, I'm driving forward for the sake of my D. W is a great mother, but D being subject to her influence 95% of the time (W's parenting plan) would not be good for her mental health. Appreciated bud!

Jeep, trying to be brother. The waves keep getting more hard hitting though, but still standing. You hang in there as well. Reminded of a quote someone sent me "tough times don't last, but tough people do". Not one to look for motivation from that stuff but that one stuck. A lot of tough folks around here.


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
lt0402 #2735386 03/22/17 04:14 AM
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Quote:
The waves keep getting more hard hitting though, but still standing. You hang in there as well. Reminded of a quote someone sent me "tough times don't last, but tough people do". Not one to look for motivation from that stuff but that one stuck. A lot of tough folks around here.


You'll find that over time the waves become nothing but ripples. Me now? Not even pebbles in a pond. There is some anger at this bullshite she is doing, but that's it.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
lt0402 #2735393 03/22/17 05:02 AM
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Originally Posted By: lt0402

Kevin, appreciated bud. Yeah, I'm driving forward for the sake of my D. W is a great mother, but D being subject to her influence 95% of the time (W's parenting plan) would not be good for her mental health. Appreciated bud!


My dilemma too. I want my kids to have a great mom, but i am concerned about the mental health of them (and her issues she will pass along). Fortunately, i will have them 50% of the time, so i need to rock that time.


M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6
11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA
Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing
1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break
2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing
2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
KevinIn #2735396 03/22/17 05:04 AM
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Originally Posted By: KevinIn
Originally Posted By: lt0402

Kevin, appreciated bud. Yeah, I'm driving forward for the sake of my D. W is a great mother, but D being subject to her influence 95% of the time (W's parenting plan) would not be good for her mental health. Appreciated bud!


My dilemma too. I want my kids to have a great mom, but i am concerned about the mental health of them (and her issues she will pass along). Fortunately, i will have them 50% of the time, so i need to rock that time.


I am in the same boat, my friend. My ex and her family are batshit crazy.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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