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JRuss,

Thanks for keeping it real. This is a difficult path that we did not choose. I often feel the same way about the endless supply of new LBS. Althiugh this is difficult, it sounds like you are doing well at being a great dad to those kids who need you more than ever.

Best wishes,

Gordie


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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Hope your kids are adjusting and you're having some fun.


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 638
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FG! I know it's not a great admission in this setting given the site's purpose, but I'm really happy to be divorced. Life is so much better! The kids are doing really well, which freed me up emotionally speaking to take a real look at life and what I want out of it. I know, you're supposed to do that before you divorce, and I was, in theory, but living together post-BD for more than a year -- it just didn't happen. Not really. I didn't detach fully. What I had with that woman was terrible and nothing to cling to, at all, though, in hindsight. She was a shitty wife! Most of the walkaways here are when you get right down to it, and pretty much all of the LBS can do a lot better if they believe themselves deserving of better. I know, not really DB-approved, that message I guess, but it's how I'm seeing things these days.

How are you? I know your kids have a very good dad as they adjust to life. I think of you and LT often. Brothers in Arms.


Me: 46
W: 44
Married: 17
Together 21
D13; S10
BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you)
Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage
Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
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Quote:
She was a shitty wife! Most of the walkaways here are when you get right down to it, and pretty much all of the LBS can do a lot better if they believe themselves deserving of better.


^^^^^^ is AWESOME!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Originally Posted By: JRuss
FG! I know it's not a great admission in this setting given the site's purpose, but I'm really happy to be divorced. Life is so much better! The kids are doing really well, which freed me up emotionally speaking to take a real look at life and what I want out of it. I know, you're supposed to do that before you divorce, and I was, in theory, but living together post-BD for more than a year -- it just didn't happen. Not really. I didn't detach fully. What I had with that woman was terrible and nothing to cling to, at all, though, in hindsight. She was a shitty wife! Most of the walkaways here are when you get right down to it, and pretty much all of the LBS can do a lot better if they believe themselves deserving of better. I know, not really DB-approved, that message I guess, but it's how I'm seeing things these days.

How are you? I know your kids have a very good dad as they adjust to life. I think of you and LT often. Brothers in Arms.


JR! You have no idea how ecstatic it makes me to hear how well you're doing brother!

You're right about the kids. As you know, I too dreaded the unknown for my d and how this whole thing would impact her. Like your kids, she is as happy as ever and I actually am finding I've been able to help her grow as a kid moreso than I could when STBX was around all the time. This whole D thing has definitely been life changing, just not in the ways I'd thought it would be. I'm much happier with the life that d and i have been building for ourselves!

Being out of in-house S, it became so much easier to really, truly detach. That's when all the stress started rolling off and I could really focus. Wish we could impart on all of the new folks around here that life will once again be awesome for them. It just takes time and distance. Still not sure how any of us survived our in-house situations. Seems like pure hell looking back on it now. Give me water boarding and matches under the fingernails any day instead of that!

Definitely miss the many chats we shared around here my friend. I still make sure to bother FG on a pretty frequent basis (poor guy!). Some strong bonds forged here in some pretty hot and painful fire. Brothers in Arms captures it perfectly dude. I'll always be grateful for all of ya'll and what you helped me through. Keep kicking a$$ brother and definitely keep in touch!


Me39
M11 : T13
D9
BD 5/31/16
In House S until 6/21/17
Divorced 10/5/18
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,387
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Hope you're well JRuss. I'm doing very well.


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final
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