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A Message from Michele
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Re: I'm Back :( [Re: Jug] #2723962
01/04/17 04:02 AM
01/04/17 04:02 AM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
MrBond Offline
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MrBond  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
I actually know Chinese and I just wanted to be sure. It's not a very flattering depiction of yourself,


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Re: I'm Back :( [Re: Jug] #2724020
01/04/17 11:25 AM
01/04/17 11:25 AM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 115
L
Laowai Offline OP
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Laowai  Offline OP
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Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 115
@Sandi: You are right, it is definitely addictive snooping at this point. I suppose subconsciously I am looking for "THE KEY" to definitively proving what she is doing. I also believe that this would be a "hail mary" attempt to break her out of the craziness that she is in....I know...not likely frown

@Coconut: Thanks for your words of encouragement. I have often thought about what would have or would currently happen if I just laid the law down like that and said something along the lines of "If this is what you are going to do to me, then I don't want you in my life right now. However there are consequences for your actions so be prepared"....And then just going nuclear. Of course this isn't my personality so it's purely a feel good imagination.

@MrBond: It means foreigner in Mandarin (mostly used for westerners/expats). mostly it's used in a light hearted manner, but can be used in a derogatory way at times. While I was traveling around China it was always used respectfully, so it holds no negative connotation in my mind.

@Sotto: I am doing about the same today except I did get some sleep last night which was good. I'm still struggling quite a bit with the mind movies and wish I could force them away, but it doesn't seem that I can at this time. I am going to try to work out at home tonight. I want to avoid a gym for a while because around here they are so crowded there isn't any parking for the most part(New Year's Resolution folks). I do think working out would be good for me, but I feel so awkward doing it because I have no idea what I am doing and don't have a routine LOL!

Re: I'm Back :( [Re: Laowai] #2724028
01/04/17 01:51 PM
01/04/17 01:51 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,207
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Vapo Offline
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Vapo  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,207
Maybe get a personal coach for a couple of lessons. You'll be wanting to eliminate all excuses you might have... wink

Re: I'm Back :( [Re: Laowai] #2724031
01/04/17 02:19 PM
01/04/17 02:19 PM
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 209
S
Stormchaser Offline
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Stormchaser  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 209
[quote=Laowai I am going to try to work out at home tonight. I want to avoid a gym for a while because around here they are so crowded there isn't any parking for the most part(New Year's Resolution folks). I do think working out would be good for me, but I feel so awkward doing it because I have no idea what I am doing and don't have a routine LOL! [/quote]

When crap went down with my W and I, the first thing I did is hit the gym. I didn't care who was around or how busy it was or how stupid I looked, I had to do something for myself. The day I signed up was on my way home from work, and I did a solid half hour on a treadmill wearing my work boots and uniform.

No offense, but I never used any excuse when going to the gym. I either waited for a machine or worked out something else. It helped my mind and psyche more than any anti-depressant. I needed to get out and about in the world - working out at home would only depress me more. I needed the gym atmosphere.


Me: 52
Her: 48
2D 26 & 16
M: 25 years (together 30)
EA/discovered by accident Valentines day 2016
Admitted SOME physical but no IC.
We know that's a lie.
Status - tryin to R
Re: I'm Back :( [Re: Stormchaser] #2724037
01/04/17 03:15 PM
01/04/17 03:15 PM
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 638
J
JRuss Offline
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JRuss  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 638
Laowai -- suck it up and go to the gym. You'll get a parking spot, and everyone in there looks somewhat ridiculous. Get going. You'll feel so much better when you start doing something FOR YOU instead of just laying back and being life's and your wife's punching bag. I promise. The key is to overcome the inertia that's keeping you in the muck, get going, and it will steamroll benevolently from there. We are all pulling for you. Kick some ass.


Me: 46
W: 44
Married: 17
Together 21
D13; S10
BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you)
Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage
Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
Re: I'm Back :( [Re: JRuss] #2724041
01/04/17 04:08 PM
01/04/17 04:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,126
Detached from EVERYbody
P
PatientMan Offline
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PatientMan  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,126
Detached from EVERYbody
Originally Posted By: JRuss
Laowai -- suck it up and go to the gym. You'll get a parking spot, and everyone in there looks somewhat ridiculous. Get going. You'll feel so much better when you start doing something FOR YOU instead of just laying back and being life's and your wife's punching bag. I promise. The key is to overcome the inertia that's keeping you in the muck, get going, and it will steamroll benevolently from there. We are all pulling for you. Kick some ass.


Agreed. There is not a better moment than RIGHT NOW. No excuses!

-PM


M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Re: I'm Back :( [Re: PatientMan] #2724045
01/04/17 04:54 PM
01/04/17 04:54 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 115
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Laowai Offline OP
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Laowai  Offline OP
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Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 115
I should have clarified. I have gym equipment at my house and was regularly using it up until the last 2 weeks when I fell back into this slump. I was saying I will try to make myself workout tonight haha. Which I am going to do here in just a little bit.

Re: I'm Back :( [Re: Laowai] #2724049
01/04/17 05:16 PM
01/04/17 05:16 PM
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 567
L
LiM Offline
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LiM  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 567
I recommend the Body Beast program for working out at home. Its inexpensive from Amazon and all you need is a weight bench and some dumbbells. I've been doing it for the past year.


Me: 48 y/o
W: 47 y/o
Together: > 20 yrs
BD: Dec '15, then S
2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D
April '16: started piecing
Re: I'm Back :( [Re: LiM] #2724077
01/04/17 11:54 PM
01/04/17 11:54 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,207
V
Vapo Offline
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Vapo  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,207
The human factor also plays a part in the healing process. So I'd do a gym. Maybe you could strike up a casual conversation and do some bonding...

Re: I'm Back :( [Re: Vapo] #2724083
01/05/17 01:03 AM
01/05/17 01:03 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
S
Sotto Offline
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Sotto  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
There is no try, there is only do.. smile

Now then, working out at home is good and many posters say that working out significantly helps them. For me in the early days I went on lots of walks and sitting outside seemed to help too. I also up cycled furniture in my Dad's garage. Find those activities that work for you and do them..

I also joined some new things that were more social...including an infidelity support group. It really helps to bring yourself into contact with others too and I'd like to see you make some plans in this area...

Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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