Ginger, I have noticed that married woman around me have been so intrigued by what I am doing in my "single life". They are envious. They get so excited when they give me suggestions. I went from people feeling pity, or being nosy, to trying to live vicariously through me. Of course, except for the dating there is nothing that I am doing that they couldn't do. It's funny though, how we put restrictions on ourselves when we are married. I am trying to plan mom's nights out for these unhappy but committed women. I wonder if things would have been different if I gave myself that sort of time when I was married.
I am really enjoying OLD. But I am still not yet looking for love--just for fun outings and new friends. I'm learning a lot about myself in this process and about the kind of men I am drawn to--and why. Maybe I should start sharing my stories like you and Doodle. I enjoy reading them.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
Yes, mustard seed, please do share your OLD stories. Just the statement "I'm really enjoying OLD" is foreign to me and some of the others here, ginger included, as I'm not sure we've "enjoyed it" much if at all. I've personally been doing much much better and enjoying non old much more lately. Do tell.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
So I'll keep it short and sweet. Holidays were good and there was no tears for the first time in 8 years. I got a little melancholy, but I got over it. My ex wanted to hang out with me.... with our daughter of course... but you could tell he actually wanted to spend time with me. He even dressed nice and put on cologne and we all went out to dinner. he was upset that I wanted to be home by a certain time to go to the gym. he did call me skinny I almost thought he was going to pay..... but in true ex fashion, he split that bill right down the middle.
The plumber contacted me yesterday. he was at my house. Doing work on the neighbor. he wants to see me. he likes me. Wants to date again. Don was right. ha! Don't know how I feel about this. I told him what turned me off, I came right out with it.
And..... I am ending my 10 week gym/nutrition challenge tomorrow. I'm doing the next challenge. But we did before and after pictures yesterday and I am kind of shocked. I lost 4 lbs, but my body has certainly transformed. I couldn't believe it. I tend to build muscle, and I am actually kind of cut now, but that's why the scale doesn't mean anything. I'll be posting the pics on FB tomorrow. I'm proud of me. Happy for all the new friends I have made.
I've got some great new years eve plans I am looking forward too. All the same people as last year, minus one, lol. I'm going to have a blast and allow myself to drinka nd eat unhealthy things.
Thanks for all the well wishes. I'm doing pretty good. Better than I had thought I was, haha!
So great to hear from you Ginger. I'd say I was half-right. I really thought he would have contacted you way sooner than this. Perhaps just like WAW or WH, it's partly the holidays? I'm sure he's still interested, just less sure why he waited this long. I think whether you try dating him again or not you for positive certain did the right thing by just telling him the truth. I know I'd much rather hear that than the guessing game I'm forced to play most times. Here's why I'm not that interested: Be nice but be honest. Great job.
Since I kept promising and I know you've asked, I just did a huge update on my thread if you want to catch up. Hope you enjoy the NYE party!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Hey Don! I bet he waited until after the holiday because he didn't want to have to buy a present!!!
So, this is what I did. I told him exactly the way things were. I told him how I felt about the things he said and how I felt disrespected and like he talked to me like one of the guys. he further goes to tell me he doesn't think that's why I wasn't interested anymore. I told him it absolutely was. he is convinced otherwise because he thinks there are always going ot be things that bother eachother does that the other might not like and that's not a reason to be together. and he said something to the effect of bringing those up later rather than earlier. Which I told him makes no sense to wait to bring up things that makes the other feel uncomfortable. However, he is completely convinced it has nothing to do with what I said it had to do with! He said it had to do with the "strong independent women types". I was like "what?!" he said he would have to explain in person. I said I needed to hear this theory. We are going out for a drink tonight which may be a big mistake, but curiosity is killing me. This is my life! A very sad dating life!
On a better note, I did 1000 reps of really tough exercises in just over 30 min. I was so proud I showed my sheet to everyone. I even sent to exh because we used to work out together. He was pretty impressed and even came on facetime when D9 called to tell me so.
D9 now has an ipad at his house. Which means she calls me first thing in the morning, 3 times during the day and once before bed, lol. I am touched that she calls me so much. She never calls her dad when she is with me.
So, this new years eve I will be kissing the dog. I am so excited for my plans, but it's going to be a little difficult to be all the same couples, minus who was my other half last year. it was nice getting kissed at midnight last year. Eh, I was stone cold sober last year because I agreed to drive because we had the kids. This year, I most certainly will not be:)
I bet he waited until after the holiday because he didn't want to have to buy a present!!!
Yes, this is definitely a thing!
Quote:
However, he is completely convinced it has nothing to do with what I said it had to do with! He said it had to do with the "strong independent women types".
No! Do not go out with this guy! A man who thinks a woman who won't sleep with him is because she's one of those dad gum independent women and NOT because his behavior was offensive to you? Please. Not a good guy.
Please do not go out w/this guy. He knew how to bait the hook to get you to go out for a drink. He could have told you what he meant over the phone...but he chose to ask you to go out. He's not going to change and yes, he is a putz!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
