Job, Thank you for your understanding and support! I am really in a good place, as this is my 2nd time through this and I know that I didn't cause this. I have learned so much about MLC from this site, the posts, the reading list and homework, that I can walk away knowing that I put forth a very good efffort.
I think that watching what's happening to WS and that I am in a very strong mental state, I realized that I just don't have the legs to stand for what could be a very longtime. I had every intention of doing so early on, but as my GAL was happening and my knowledge of MLC grew, I began to realize that I don't think I could get past what's been happening for the last couple of months. WS goes to counseling, but its not real and she isn't putting any effort into understanding or working on our M. I know that she has a long road to hoe and that its very possible somewhere down the road I may be faced with her coming out of this and wanting back. But I am not in a place where I would want her back now and I know that I must move on and let her figure out her life as I figure out mine.
I will comeback and post a little and I truly appreciate your support. Have a Happy Holiday season and take care.
M52 W52 M17 T20 SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own BD 10/01/16 Trial Sep 12/01/16
Bttrfly, I appreciate your support and I really hope you keep moving forward as you have a lot to offer! I see the love you have for your son, the spirit you have in living life and I know you will be in a great place.
Thank you for all of your loving words and support...now get into your cooking again, feed people that amazing Italian food and enjoy the season of giving. I will be keeping an eye on you and I expect you're about to start sharing some amazing stories of a life that will be very rewarding for you.
Boun Natale!! Xoxoxo
M52 W52 M17 T20 SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own BD 10/01/16 Trial Sep 12/01/16
Well its been a while since I've posted. I am filing for D next week, after months of counseling, standing, 180's, nothing worked. WS has yet to shed even a tear over the collapse over our M. I have gotten to the point where I see no hope and the D is something that I need to move on.
As things unfold, the only emotional response I get from WS is around the financial settlement of our D. Nothing else elicits a real reaction, as she is so self centered she wants everything her way.
Our therapist has told me to prepare for WS to at sometime have a real reaction to this whole thing. She said she's seen it everytime and that the level of compartmentaliizng that WS has done since her childhood to deal with her sexua abuse, just can't hold on much longer. Her thought is that with her depression, menapause and pressure from her job, all heavily contributed to her current state.
So in March WS is having a hysterectomy and that could impact this. She's moved into his house and she seems different to everyone that sees her.
I have dated a little and actually have a date this coming Thursday with someone that I am really excited about. The most important thing I have learned in all of this is that I am happy alone and feeling that moving on is very freeing.
I am prepared to move on with my life and I am taking care of getting myself ready for whatever happens. I know that some of you may think I should continue standing, but living in a small town and WS out and about with him, puts me in a place where I don't want to be.....so I move on.
Altair, I hope you find what you're looking for, I can see the sacrifices you have made and that you continue to make. Do what your hear tells you and only do what you want to do!
Bttrfly. Get well....I am sure you're watching your Pats right now, so enjoy and take care of yourself...you're otherwise doing great!
M52 W52 M17 T20 SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own BD 10/01/16 Trial Sep 12/01/16
Hi Twotours. Sorry for the delayed response. How are you doing? I actually wasn't watching that game, believe it or not. Too exhausted. I have been watching since though
Can we get an update? sending hugs xoxoxo (and cannoli)
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
