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job #2720412 12/11/16 07:36 AM
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Job, I appreciate your thoughts and I get it. I have a lot going on this month, so time to see her is limited, but I will keep my guard up and be vigilant. It is nice to have time with someone who has gone through this as well, so the conversation was very enlightening as well.

Have a great day!!


M52 W52
M17 T20
SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own
BD 10/01/16
Trial Sep 12/01/16
2Tours #2720580 12/12/16 07:40 AM
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Hi 2Tours,
I've generally found Job's advice to be spot on.

Gathering "Intel" from other LBS who are now on the other side of this is valuable, but one must always check one's motives and be ruthlessly honest with oneself as yes, friendship can turn to something else without realizing it. As my boy says, "You're aware" so just keep that awareness right up front.

I'm really pleased to read that you have a lot of GAL activities going on this month. What are some of them?

Happy Monday!
xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Nov 2016
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bttrfly, One of the things I have lined up is watching the Bills miss the playoffs for the 17th straight year!!!
My son lives in Florida and comes up next Monday night, so spending time with him, our family and good friends is plentiful over the holidays. As is cooking, as I make all of the traditional Italian dishes for Christmas dinner (homemade Ravioli, braciole, sauce, etc.).
So trying not to gain weight, while eating so much and touring the new local breweries with my Son.

Now I know you have a lot to keep you busy too and I pray that you take care of yourself and make the most of your holiday as well. I have been through this before, so I am not a newbie....thus 2Tours became my name. There is life after D and you will look back on this as a liftoff point for the new you. Much love to you, even though your a Pats fan!


M52 W52
M17 T20
SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own
BD 10/01/16
Trial Sep 12/01/16
2Tours #2720591 12/12/16 08:16 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
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PISAN!!!!!


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
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*this* is why we are simpatico!

I don't think I'm gonna have the stamina before Christmas to make the ravioli, but perhaps after ...

I also have to still decorate ... we have a naked Christmas tree!!!!!

Can't have that and I want my Nativity set up


Feeling more in the spirit today. Wish I had the day off to be home alone with my crazy pup and cat and could decorate while son is at school so he would be surprised when he gets home.

Maybe I will leave a little early?


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 81
2
2Tours Offline OP
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That explains everything...these MLCers will never eat at home as good as we fed them! I hear the Christmas spirit in your words and I think once the music starts to play and you decorate, you will feel a lot better.

Buon Natale!


M52 W52
M17 T20
SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own
BD 10/01/16
Trial Sep 12/01/16
2Tours #2720676 12/12/16 04:05 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
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Buon Natale!
It's funny you say that. Our last Thanksgiving together my mom said that everything was delicious and stbxh looked at me and said in a weird tone, "Yes, she does cook well." at the time i thought ???? wth????

Even my cooking ego has taken a beating, tbh ... though that is slowly coming back. STBXH disparaged my broccoli and had the temerity to tell me to roast it in the oven then add cheese for the last few minutes. He said he LOVES broccoli that way and always hated broccoli the way I cook it (Italian - steamed, a bit of olive oil, pepper and garlic powder) ... and that our son also loves it the way he makes it. This from the man who thought boxed mac and cheese with cut up hot dogs was haute cuisine.

I checked in with son who said, "Mom --- I love your broccoli. Just don't tell Dad I said that." lololol

I had a recipe thread a while ago ... maybe it's time to resurrect that?


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 81
2
2Tours Offline OP
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Posts: 81
Don't ever doubt your cooking or anything else he had to say negative. He was lucky to have you and he deserves frozen dinners now!

Cooking is great therapy and doing so for others is very rewarding. Don't waste your skills, but share them with others to show them you love them. Maybe cook with your son, as I will when he comes home....pass along some recipes and enjoy the time together!


M52 W52
M17 T20
SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own
BD 10/01/16
Trial Sep 12/01/16
2Tours #2721518 12/17/16 01:07 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 81
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Well its been awhile since my last post...WS is not looking back and I am tired of standing. A little past the halfway point of our NC month of December and she has told friends of ours that she is happy with OM and new life. I am happier without WS, realizing in this month, through therapy, that I was not happy in M. After the weeks of WS living with OM, I am not interested in working through this with her, as too much of what has happened for me to get past and to rebuild trust.

I know some of you maybe disappointed, but I have GAL for the last 8 weeks or so and I am in a really good place. I have a lot to go out and enjoy and will be relieved when I can tell people the truth instead of making up reasons why WS isn't at a function or other place with me. I won't give them facts, but will tell them we are no longer together.

I appreciate all of the input from the group here...Altair. bttrfly, Job and others have been so kind to me here. I will stay tuned in, but may not post much.

I am in a much better place and looking forward to a happy holiday. I hope all of you find happiness and that you all realize that you are beautiful people who also deserve happiness!!

Take care and happy holidays!!


M52 W52
M17 T20
SS 23 from my 1st M Lives on his own
BD 10/01/16
Trial Sep 12/01/16
2Tours #2721531 12/17/16 02:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
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You are the only one that can decide when you've had enough.

The door is always open and you know that you are always welcome to post, i.e., about anything that comes to mind and it doesn't necessarily have to be about your wife.

I hope that you can enjoy the holiday season and may the new year be far better for you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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